Aa
Why is it?
Why is it that everyone around me seems to be pregnant or getting pregnant? I try to be happy for them, but I'm sure they can see my heartache. I try and pretend that everything is ok, but when they are gushing over their joyous event, how can they not see that it hurts me? We had a MC over a year ago & have been trying over the past 5 months to conceive again to no avail. "Eat this food, take these pre-natal vitamins, no caffeine, nor alcohol, track your ovulation, have sex here here and here in this position & raise your legs/hips for 20+ minutes for best results." Well, it's not working so the other night I went out and got a little too tipsy. Not grown-up like behavior however I needed a release and a treadmill was no where to be found. My man says that I should just stop stressing about it, and if it's supposed to happen, it will. Fact of the matter is, I'm 35 and my eggs aren't getting any younger. Tick tock tick tock tick tock.....
It's ironic the person that should be going through our similar pain can seemingly forget with such ease. I too couldn't believe that my man didn't shed a tear with me over our loss. I know he was trying to be strong for me, but all I wanted him to do was react in any other manner than stoic. He told me that he deals with things on his own & will cry when no one is around. It made me feel alone, like the pregnancy only mattered to me. In some way, I do believe that he didn't think it was real because, besides from my breasts getting a little larger/sore, I didn't show either.
You have truly helped me more than you know, and I thank you for your words & experiences as I have found some comfort in them. I would never wish this upon anyone but have begun to heal and realize that I am not alone.
Baby dust to you and your husband! I hope to hear good news from you soon!!!
Take care,
Sarah
You have truly helped me more than you know, and I thank you for your words & experiences as I have found some comfort in them. I would never wish this upon anyone but have begun to heal and realize that I am not alone.
Baby dust to you and your husband! I hope to hear good news from you soon!!!
Take care,
Sarah
When I was in the ER my mother (who is also my boss) asked how long I should stay out of work to recover from the loss. She said she would recommend a week (more for emotional healing then physical). I returned to work two days later. I guess it is just my way of handling things, to put on a strong face, that I'm strong and doing fine. My mother weeks later explained how all my co workers thought I had handled everything so well. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said that she knew that I wasn't, I was broken inside. I love my mother and she hurts because she knows how much I wanted it. But she was completely right, I was a wreck, i put on a good front for the world but I felt lost inside. i didn't want to do anything any more. my house was trashed, my relationship with my husband a little tested. He actually hurt me the most.
Four days after the miscarrriage, I was with my husband and began to cry, he looked at me confused and asked what was wrong. I was so mad at his stupidity and yelled "We JUST LOST A CHILD" then he replied, "but it happen four days ago, like I should be over it now. I knew that to him it never was "real". I never got to the point of showing and we never really got a good ultra sound, but for me it was everything. Its amazing how in such a short amount of time you can be so attached so a being that you can't even prove exists....
It took me months to get back to a near normal state. But you are right, there will always be a piece of you missing.
after I lost the baby for the first few weeks I was terrified to get pregnant again, I was done, I did not want to try again, I did not want to go through that pain again. but my husband quickly made me realize that it will happen when its right, that this is sometimes part of the journey. But i no longer use ovulation tests, and I try not to think about when I "might" be ovulating.... which is etremely difficult, because you are right, all I want is my husbands sperm and I know it does affect him.
I believe I might be pregnant again, and its weird because though I hope with all my heart that I am, there is still a part of me that is scared to death. I am scared to lose again, but it is a journey I have to take.
Four days after the miscarrriage, I was with my husband and began to cry, he looked at me confused and asked what was wrong. I was so mad at his stupidity and yelled "We JUST LOST A CHILD" then he replied, "but it happen four days ago, like I should be over it now. I knew that to him it never was "real". I never got to the point of showing and we never really got a good ultra sound, but for me it was everything. Its amazing how in such a short amount of time you can be so attached so a being that you can't even prove exists....
It took me months to get back to a near normal state. But you are right, there will always be a piece of you missing.
after I lost the baby for the first few weeks I was terrified to get pregnant again, I was done, I did not want to try again, I did not want to go through that pain again. but my husband quickly made me realize that it will happen when its right, that this is sometimes part of the journey. But i no longer use ovulation tests, and I try not to think about when I "might" be ovulating.... which is etremely difficult, because you are right, all I want is my husbands sperm and I know it does affect him.
I believe I might be pregnant again, and its weird because though I hope with all my heart that I am, there is still a part of me that is scared to death. I am scared to lose again, but it is a journey I have to take.
My husband and I found out we lost our abyb on March 9th. I had a "missed abortion". The same as you it seems like all my friends are pregnant and or have newborns, I have a 7 and an 8 year old but this was my hubby's first baby. Its funny cause i was so young when i had my sone and daughter. This time I waited to do things the "right" way. I got married, am in love, and we actually tried to get pregnant. Its funny that doing things right canturn out so wrong. There really is no explanation for it. The worst part for me has been listening to people gush about there pregnancies or how adorable there babies are. the truth is if they havent been through it then they have no idea what you are going through. I deal with this conclusion on a daily basis and still get upset about it. Just be strong and know that you are not alone in feeling that way. I feel it everyday.
It's true what you say about people just not understanding unless they've been through it themselves. They have asked me, "how could you have already been so attached". One person at work also joked about the "amount of blood loss" in it's relation to the miscarriage itself. I was so hurt, and so completely shocked about their blatant disregard to my feelings. Obviously they have never been through it. I too am the only person in my family that had suffered a miscarriage. To make matters worse, my sister has four kids and just has to sneeze and she's pregnant.
I do use OPK's, but at this point have become so discouraged that I'm even thinking about giving that up. It puts a weird spin on sex, and I don't want my man to think he's a piece of meat. (Even though, let's admit it ladies, sometimes all we do want is his sperm at that moment.) :)
I try not to think about it, but it is always there, and it is always going to be there. It's now a piece of me, or should I say a lost part of me. I joke at times and try to make people smile, but it is just my personal way of being able to deal with it. I am scared. I feel that if I "don't think about it and just try to let it happen" that I'm going to just get older and still be baby-less.
I do use OPK's, but at this point have become so discouraged that I'm even thinking about giving that up. It puts a weird spin on sex, and I don't want my man to think he's a piece of meat. (Even though, let's admit it ladies, sometimes all we do want is his sperm at that moment.) :)
I try not to think about it, but it is always there, and it is always going to be there. It's now a piece of me, or should I say a lost part of me. I joke at times and try to make people smile, but it is just my personal way of being able to deal with it. I am scared. I feel that if I "don't think about it and just try to let it happen" that I'm going to just get older and still be baby-less.
I'm so sorry I can relate to the whole everyone around seems to be pregnant. I just had my first miscarriage on March 16th and first baby. Meanwhile my sister is pregnant and sister-in-law and to top it off they live next door on the same property!!! I'm really close to my sis-in-law and she asks me to take her to doc appts and stuff sometimes, just today she needed to go to the hospital to get a shot and I saw like 2 women being wheeled out holding their newborns. I was like ughhhh sooo not FAIR! I would be like 16 weeks by now and it *****. But I try not to think of it that way cuz I should be happy for them, babies are gifts from God. I know I will be blessed one day and you will too! Don't give up hope! Do you use OPKS? I will pray for you.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Miscarriages Community
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.
I really hope the best for you, I know your probably tired of hearing this (and I hate it when people tell me this) But just try and not think about. most people conceive once they have given up and stopped trying. I know, it is so much easier to say then do. Hopefully you will received the good news soon.