hubby is being a jerk

[tschock]

Woke up this morning to find that I started my first period since m/c...first period in 4 months...totally depressing right?
Depression got worse once hubby woke up...he freaked out because "his mattress has blood on it"!
I had no freakin idea that I was going to get my period...I have been cramping, getting pimples, etc since before the m/c...yet he blames me! He figures that I should have "magically known" that I was going to start it last night.

Why are men such jerks? Just once, I wish they could walk in our shoes!  What would happen if they could get pregnant and have a m/c? I'm sure it would be the end of the world! You know how they get when they have a tiny little cold...all whinny, miserable, have to stay home from work and lay in bed with a bucket of Vick's and gallon of medicine...what if they had to go through what WE go through?  The world would come to a sudden end. There would be no more children, that's for sure...
Yet we are expected to "get over it"...go to work, get on with your life...GRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Anyone else ever want to hang their hubby...or worse...after a m/c?

[lil_lady25]

Guys just dont get it. I think it's because they dont form the bond like we do because we are the ones to actually carry the baby. Our bond begins from the BFP. We start planning our child's life all the way to college. The man takes things a day at a time. I know it's frustrating and you probably think that he's being really insensitive but maybe this is his way of being upset about the loss. Guys act out their emotions in weird ways. Mine was acting "insensitive" after our two losses and didn't even seem to care when I got pregnant for the third time. After the (twins) girls were born he said he acted like that because he was very scared to lose another baby. Let him act the way he is. If you feed into it, it will only make it worse and will cause you to fight. He will come to his senses eventually.

[charlieTX]

My hubby is very out goin but he dont talk that much and he is very ... He don't think straight sometimes, he thinks weird and about himself sometimes I would have to fight with someone on my own. That *****, I thought I would have to face everything alone I think he has a cold heart I thought I had the worst hubby every that don't ever take good care of me... But nope...... On April 20 I found out I was prego my first one ever (yesssss) right? He took good care of me, do things for me, do mind that I work with him. He heats up my foods and sometimes bring it in to my room for me cuz I need to lay Down. He always checks up on me... Time of my LIFE.. I was sooo happy he changed THEN.... June 2 I had a m/c and was by my self with my mom to the doc he was at work I called him at work and I told him the big bad news he was soo sad n he didn't talk to anyone he covered his head in a small blanket at work n just lay down n pretend to sleep... My boss told me all about it and felt bad told him to go home first my hubby said no it's ok he will work... And when he went to pick up his daughter, my step daughter weren't there he said he come home but later cuz he have to pick her up I said y not now he said cuz his sister took her Out for one more hour I didn't mind or said anything but that was his plan. But when he heard my voice he said it's ok I go home now and then I go pick her up after. He knew in my voice I needed him but I never said so when he came home he saw me in bed he was soo sad I see it in his eyes he was hurt just like me and then he hugs me n cried just to himself but I caught his tears.... Few days after I still see him crying n hurt inside but poor guy he have to suffer n work cuz we r lack of workers. Ladies sometimes ur men dont say anything doesn't mean that they r not hurt. They just held inside n don't know how to express it and don't know what to do my hubby was actually hiding not to go home the first day becuZ he was scared n clueless don't know what to do don't know how to ccomfort me. So he hides but really inside of him was hurt too... It's just how they express it I guess? But my hubby was supportive n he tries to please me and makes me happy. He said it's ok honey we will try again but he was crying poor guy! Men r clueless when it comes too this so don't get mad it's different ways for them to express n for them to be them selfs?! I hope soemwhat this will make u guys feel abit better

[tschock]

I hear ya on that one!

I had a miscarriage on my 40th birthday...
First he forgot it was my birthday. Then he just had to go out that night to break up with his band. The band wanted to stick together, but they wanted a new singer...so hubby chose that night to do it.
We sat around in a stupid lounge for hours...me at one table and him and the band at another...
I finally got really mad, stormed over to their table and yelled " You stupid jerk! It's MY 40th birthday and I'm sitting by myself!"  A few people in the lounge looked up and started glaring at hubby. His drummer offered me a chair...gee nice...then they all started saying stuff like " you didn't have to sit by yourself, you could have sat here..." ugh!
Hubby had told me to sit there while they "broke up"...we had no money so I sat there with nothing...his band mates bought jugs of beer so at least he had something to drink...
Then we finally leave and stop at a 24 hour grocery store to get some food...I was starving.
We get home and he calls a friend. A few minutes later he's walking out the door.
At that point I start cramping like crazy. I tell him that I think something is wrong and that I might be losing the baby.
He leaves anyway.
Some drunk picks him up.
I sit alone on the toilet "bleeding to death" all night, trying to reach him by phone. I called his cell a hundred times. His friend finally answers it and he yells at me...asking me what I want. I tell him that I want my hubby home cause I just lost the baby.
He gets mad but finally drops the drunk off...4 hours later!
The next day hubby buys me roses after I tell him what he did to me...and after he sees the blood all over the bathroom ( I left it there on purpose...to see if he would notice or care I guess)...he walks in with the roses, and I made sure to hit him with the thorns sticking out.
So I guess this time isn't as bad...
He quit drinking when he almost died a couple of months ago...the same day this last baby died.
Men are such pigs! lol...no offence to the nice men that may be out there!

[luvloveluv]

my DH's the same. i find it so hard just to walk through the baby section of the store and i get all sad and teary eyed, and he just tells me 'oh honey, stop it'. i feel you, just finished my first period since my M/C in april, it's heart breaking and upsetting.

[jessjane]

I had an earlly ultra sound with my third pregnancy.  I had my son then a miscarriage at 12 weeks so an early ultra sound I requested.  they found that the baby had died at 6 weeks.  I decided to naturally miscarry the baby again.  So one sat about a week after find my results I was bleeding and cramping really bad. I asked my husband to help with our son but he wanted to go 1.5 hrs away to visit him mom.  so he left in the morning by 11 i was miscarring full blown and in a lot of pain.  and i was scared.  so i called him at his parents, they would n't answer the phone when the machine picked up i left a message for him to get in touch with me as soon as possible.  an hour later he phoned back saying they were outside enjoying the sun and what was my big problem.  i told him i was miscarring and sad and needed him to come home and help with our boy.  he said he would leave right away 3 hours later he shows up with two cases of beer for himself and a big grin ( i don't drink).  so yeah i agree with you sometimes men are thoughtless and miserable.  they have no idea what we go through and how horrible and upsetting it is for something to be alive and growing then to suddenly die inside of you.  sadly they will never know the pain but some are much more compassionate then others.  ( i don't have one of those ones)  
best of luck to you.  and don'\t push your self to do anything right now.  take it easy and take care of yourself

[trying43]

I am sorry u are going through this.  My dh always says if we had to depend on men to have the babies our world would die off because he knows he couldn't do what we do!  That's why we are the stronger ones!  I hope u feel better soon and good luck to u.