I'm so sorry you are going through this. All I can say is that it may take time. We are here when you need us. If you feel anything like I did/do, I really needed the support of this community. Sharing and venting feelings really helped me a lot. feel free to express whatever you need to. The responses you will get is unbelievable.
best wishes to you.
I read your post and I too feel mad at the world! everyone keeps telling me that the baby never formed so its not that bad...Well it is that bad ! I lost a child and don't know how to cope. I hate my boyfriend and blame him for getting my pregnant in the first place...lol I know its silly but I hate him.
So I understand your feelings and think that maybe we aren't that different and its normal to be mad.
I keep praying that my anger will stop and that I can learn to understand that everyone grieves differently but I feel like he can't grieve like me he doesn't love the lost baby the way i do, how could he or anyone?
i don't want to make you feel worse, but.....
I don't get all the b.s. that there was no baby. you were pregnant. you had all the hormones & symptoms. You had all the right cells & stuff, they just didn't form right. You have EVERY right to morn the loss of a child.
I was 13 weeks 2 days when I actually lost the baby. I only measured 7 weeks on ultra sound, so it took some time for my body to realize the baby wasn't developing. it was painful (actually physically) to miscarry naturally, but i'm glad it happened that way. I feel like I got to actually experience and morn my loss. it is probably different for everyone. It may be better for some women to have a d&c. Only you can decide which experience you would rather have, as neither is a winner.
I hated still wearing maternity pants last week. I was still kind of swolen. it seemed like some kind of cruel joke. I was still puffy, but without the beautiful prize of a child. Yesterday I was able to get my normal jeans on. they are a little tight, but oh well.
best wishes to you.
As far as how long it could take you to start bleeing, I think it could be a day or two. But there really is no exact "set time". I do believe the general guideline is you will bleed for two weeks from a natural miscarriage.
It totally stinks that you are going through this. After having four m/c myself I would say the best way to deal with it (at least I comforted myself this way) is to remember that however you feel is normal. If you are upset and moody, sad and angry... normal. If you wake up in two or three days and feel ready to get started trying to conceive as soon as you body is ready... normal.
Let yourself feel the whole range of emotions. Just know that the more you recognize them and allow yourself to go through them, you will come out on the other side just fine. You will. But for now, punch a pillow, cry a whole bunch, take a long long walk, perhaps try yoga, or all of the above in any given day. Keep moving forward. Forward is the only way you can go. Good luck.
thank you for your thought and insight. I will keep in touch as I am new to this posting thing....lol
It helps to know that someone else has been in my shoes.
My first m/c was a blighted ovum. I had a 8-9 week sac but the embryo had stopped growing about 5-6 weeks. It takes the body a while to realize the pregnancy has terminated and to produce a hormone that helps the body expel it. It took me another 3 weeks after the diagnosis for the natural miscarriage. It starts out with spotting ( brownish and then red after ) and then the cramping which is mild and gets stronger. The average bleed time after the sac has expelled is about two weeks although, I've learned that some women bleed longer. Keep a lookout for signs of infection : fever, excessive bleeding (over a pad an hour ) , etc.. etc.. Be sure to make a follow up with your doctor to make sure nothing was left behind.
It is painful experience but, I think the emotional part took longer to get over. You found the best forum ever to get emotional support. We're all here for you whenever you need to chat or vent. And no question is ever dumb or "too much information" - you can feel free to ask anything. I wish you luck and strength to get through this - my thoughts are with you.