what to expect- waiting to miscarry

[bny807]

for those of you that have had miscarriages... what should i expect? we are "technically" 8.5 weeks. but with a blighted ovum, so the sac measures one week behind, but the placenta is measuring on time.. i've been waiting for over two weeks for the miscarriage to start (to hopefully avoid a D&C) and now have started getting crmaping and a little spotting.. at this stage of a pregnancy.. are the cramps/pain going to be bad? or the bleeding? obviously its very different from person to person, but i have a job where i am on my feet all day and have to really be with it mentally.. anyone worked on the first few days of their mc's at this poitn?? thanks for any help!

[chels05]

I had a natural miscarriage at 11wks 5days and its was horrible. Was up the whole night before in pain as if I was in labour. The pain was moderate I got myself to hospital the sunday morning 03/06/12 and they told me to go home that afternoon the pain got even worse and was so intense that I couldn't even walk I sat on the toilet for a hour finally I passed but had to push abit as it was as big as my hand. After I had passed the pain had compketely gone and just felt empty. I feel for every single one of you who have had to go through this painful experience. Just looking to the future now and maybe will try again soon x

[Mumita]

Yeah that's how it happened to me too at first, the only "tissue" that I passed at first was when going to bathroom then after the big tissues had apssed then I started bleeding like a period.  Then spotted and then stoped after 6 days.  The pain was horrible, worst pain EVER.  But in the end I was glad it was over with.  The first few days I thought that I never ever wanted that to happen again (I still don't) and that I would get a D&C next time.  But now I think that its better to have your body work it out by itself, because that's a sign that your body is working right.  So If that happened to me again, I'd just call out sick and take the pain meds to knock me out and let it happen by itself.  I too had to go to work while I was having the m/c and I could barely sit up from the pain.  Lets just hope that none of us have to go throught hat again and are able to have a normal pregnancy.  I'd take morning sickness and acidburn anyday rahter than an m/c.

[Keyan]

I am so sorry...but glad that finally you are getting the closure. About the bleeding just when you go to the bathroom...yes it happend to me like that for the first 2 days, then it was "normal".  All I had after, was blood work to see that everything was back to normal. The pain lasted for about 2 days before I started bleeding and 2 days after on and off. Hope you feel better soon! HUGS!

[bny807]

cheweyy: i would take a preg test.. if you are miscarring it should still be positive... otherwise i'd go to your dr and get an ultrasound make sure you dont have any fibroids or cysts.. sometimes it can just be stress that causing irregular bleediing though! good luck!

well girls i FINALLY miscarried!    of course i was at work and suddenly the cramps were SOOOO strong, and the bleeding picked up... i could hardly stand the pain!  i ending up going home after passing the "products of conception" at work.. that was not fun! and came home and just had some of the worst pain ever! the bleeding was pretty severe, but only when i'd go to the bathroom (sorry TMI and graphic) and push... otherwise i have barely soaked thru any pads at all, its just when i go to the bathroom.. is that normal?? the cramps have subsided, but still very strong at times.. thank goodness the dr gave me meds!    did all of you have follow up ultrasounds to make sure that you didnt' have any retained products??how long did the cramping last for most of you?? I"m soooo glad that i finally am getting closure.. the waiting game was killing me! though if this ever happened again, i'd almost for sure ask for a D&C! dont' think i could go thru the emotional pain of waiting, then topped off by the physical pain!

[Cheweyy]

Ok, I just had my period 2 weeks ago, and then a few nights ago i start again. but instead of being red like it normally is, its DARK brown and even black. and i have REALLY bad stomach pains, Am I pregnant or something or Am I just worried for nothing? I mean I even feel sick most of the time, Like a bad staomach ache. it doesnt feel like a normal period cramp. and i dont see why i would get it again two weeks early. And then all day today my breasts have been tender. I dont see how i can be pregnant but I need someone elses opinion before I go to the docs for nothing jusst in case. Someone please let me know! Or is it a miscarriage?

[bny807]

thank you all so much for your advice! i finally started having some horrid cramps last night, but then they stopped and nothing but spotting! ahh... i'm so sick of the waiting game.. i'll defintely be giving my dr's a call on monday to talk about what to do, i'm scared its going so slow becuase scared of infection, and also just tired of this whole thing mentally! THANK YALL! have a great 4th!

[Avanaar]

I think the main reason a D&C was recommended for me was because I'd already been carrying the fetus for four weeks after it had died.  The risk of infection was probably already higher than if they'd just found out the fetus had passed at 12.5 weeks.  After the procedure, I was told to not try to get pregnant for three months (and ...well, my body decided it was ready after two months lol).  However, I had normal cycles after my miscarriage and D&C, just like nothing had ever happened.  In fact, my miscarriage occurred around the time one of my periods would have normally shown up.

Truthfully, it all depends on the particular woman.  Some women get pregnant within a month of miscarriage and go on to have a healthy baby ...while others who get pregnant right after have another miscarriage.  If you're unsure, speak with your doctor... but I would most definitely give your body some time to normalize.  Your body is going/has been thru a physically traumatizing experience and just like any other kind of injury, it needs time to heal.  

bny807:  If the miscarriage is still going slow, speak with your doctor about those medications to see what he/she thinks.  And, like zoe06 said, you can always schedule a D&C for two weeks from now ...that way you give your body the chance to do what it's supposed to, but if that doesn't happen, you have the D&C as a last case scenario.  Either choice you make there will still be possible risks (risk of infection w/o D&C or possible uterine scarring from a D&C) ...speak with your doctor about the likelihood of both ...maybe it will help you choose if the D&C would be an acceptable alternative.

[zoe06]

Hmmm...my miscarriages both occurred faster, but we've seen here that others did not have that experience. When I was diagnosed with impending miscarriage, I made an appt. for d/c two weeks out even though I really didn't want to go that route. It became a sort of d-day for me and it made me feel like i had an end point. That helped a great deal for me emotionally. Maybe you and your doctor can come up with a date to use medical intervention and then your waiting will feel a little different?

best of luck

[bny807]

thank you all!!! well starting to cramp a little more and spot a little more, but gosh this process seems SOOOO slow! i'm just ready to get it over with and attempt to move on from this and then start ttc again!  i thought i would have sudden onset cramping then bad bleeding then maybe bleed for a week or so, but this is just miserable waiting, waiting waiting for when it will really all hit, i think i will call my dr tomorrow and make sure its ok to spot for three days without a full blown miscarriage... the last thing i need is an infection to complicate our fertiltiy, we have enough issues!!! anyone else have a slow miscarriage like this??? i figured stopping my progesterone would make it happen quickly!

[basill1970f]

i had mexotethrate (sp) with the first miscarriage.. i did truly have to wait 3 months and that was a pretty strict order... with the cytotec dr said one complete cycle... hope it helps but definitely ask your dr if you need to inquire for either medication... my dr described the cytotec as a one day tornado feeling and he was pretty accurate.. i took 4 200mcg and within 15 minutes it was all beginning so please if you go this route take it like right after work and when someone can be home with you just so u dont have to feel miserable all alone.. the next morning i got up i was fine.. wish u the best..

[lazenza]

I had natural m/c at 9 wks, foetus measuring 6 weeks had scan all well, started bleeding that night and passing clots, no pain at all didn't even feel like a period.  Im so glad I didn't have pain because I heard it is like the start of labour.

Sorry for all your losses x

[Latrice414]

Every person situation is different.  I had a missed m/c on june 12th, i did not want to wait for the m/c to happen, but the dr said to see if it would happen over the weekend, it didnt happen, i didnt want to wait anymore because i was so emotionaly down.  So she i had d&c tuesday.  But that saturday and sunday i went threw what felt like to me was contractions that lasted an hour and a half on both days, i passed a lot of blood clots, to me it was painful, luckly i was in the comfort of my own home.  With my mood swings, im glad i was not at work.  But again each person is different.  Im sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers.

[bny807]

Thank you girls SO very much for your replies!!! it means a lot to me!    I'm SO SO SORRY that any of you had to go through a miscarriage! I would not wish the emotional pain on anyone (havne't had any physical pain yet, but wouldtn' wish that on anyone either!)    so far still just spotting and mild cramping.. I think that if nothing happens tomorrow i might request cytotec to get things moving,,, i'm nervous to have spotting for too long before anything happens, due to fear of infection!     anyone spot for a while before it actually happened??     can you start ttc after your first period after cytotec, or is it like methotrexate?? THANK YOU!

[Mumita]

I had a natural m/c at about 7 weeks.  The pain was horrible for about 3 days, I mean BAD to the point of trembling.  I passed a few big clots, usually when I went to the bathroom not on the pad.  DO NOT use tampons or put anything in there just wear the pads for heavy days.  Eventhough I had horrible pains I would rather do it naturally than a D&C, because when they do a D&C they can do some damage to your uterus and then your peiods are all out of whack afterwards.  With a natural m/c your periods resume more normally depending on how long you were pregnant.
I am sorry you are going through this, but every woman is different.  Whenever your m/c starts if the pains are really bad go to your Dr. so they can give you good pain meds.
I don't have any sick time left so I actually had to work while I was m/c but I survived because of the pain meds.  Good luck.

[determined39]

As said each is different.  I had one at 12wks that I spent a lot of time in the bathroom.  There was some pain but not intolerable.  But I did not slow down and bled for a long time after and heavily.  My 2nd was at 4 wks and was like a slightly heavy period.  The next two were at 16 and 20 wks.  The last two were actually less time physically healing because I did take some time off and rested.  These were all at home and on my own except the last.  The 12 and 16 wks happened within days of finding out.  The last was totally different due to being so far along.  I wish you the best and remember to talk about it with family or online it does help.  If possible a take a couple of days off when it happens to take care of yourself.  Physically as well as emotionally

[basill1970f]

I just m/c at 9.5 weeks.  my dr gave me cytotec to avoid d & c and to make it as "quick" as possible.  While it was painful for 24 hour period it for me was the best choice i have ever made.  My three prior m/c were normal "do it on your own" style and i worked right through them but making fast trips to the bathroom (tmi sorry) when i could feel a larger gush or clot on its way down.  My male co worker thought i was crazy running to the bathroom all the time but he also was very understanding.  I Wish u the best and i hope its a quick process for you.    And you will be able to ttc really soon.    My dr would not do d & c at less than 10 weeks unless the process didnt happen with the aid of the prescription.  Also your dr will most likely watch your hcg until it lowers to 5.  Mine is now at 44 hoping this week finally 6 weeks later to be at 5.  ;) hugs

[Avanaar]

I had a missed miscarriage at nearly 13 weeks (baby only measured 8wks) back in January.  I was scheduled for a D&C a few days after we found out, but over the weekend I had a lot of bleeding and clotting.  To compare it something ...it was the worst 'period' I'd ever had.  Lots of cramping and abdominal pain ...I'd say the whole thing took a total of 12 hours.  I still had the D&C done just to make sure any leftover tissues did not cause an infection that would hamper our abilities to have children in the future.  Physically, I got thru the natural miscarriage and the D&C just fine ...tho natural miscarriage hurt a lot more!  I think that if you're still not passing blood/clots, speak with your doctor.  There is a risk of infection the longer you wait.

[Netta_2123]

hey i had a m/c at 5 weeks and it was twins and i know partly what you are going through.i think mine was belighted ovums but i aint for sure.but when they gave me the transvaginal US i started bleeding and wouldnt stop.the next day i was still bleeding then later on i went to the doctor bleeding pretty bad and pain was imbarable for me.But like keyan said pain is diffrent from person to person.i had another US and it didnt show anything but they went ahead and gave me a d&c.So I would just wait everthing out i read some places that people was told they had belighted ovums and then had healthy pregnancies just wasnt showing up good on US.Hope the best for ya in ever way..

[Keyan]

I am sorry about your m/c. I was about 5 weeks when I had my m/c I was in pain 2 days before I started to bleed. I have endometriosis, so I am use to the pain, I was able to manage it, but for the first day that I started to bleed I was really cramping on and off and I didn't go to work, I stayed in bed all day (this helped me), the next day, I did have some cramping, but not that bad, I was able to drive, have blood work done and go to my doc's appt. Like you said, Everyone's different, and pain tolerance is different from person to person, I didn't have to take any meds for the pain. If you need anything else, just let me know. BTW, I went to work 2 days later.