I need help but nobody listens!

[trimal30]

I have been treated for depression for a few years now but lately i just cannot cope...i feel suicidal and at the end of my tether...i havent been out of my house for so long,i dont answer my phone,my curtains have been closed for about 2 years and i'm a wreck!
I am 32 with 3 children...my husband has left me today,my whole family has walked away from me partly because of my mood swings and partly because i have pushed them away and i have nobody to talk to.

3 weeks ago the doctor was called out to me as i was having a breakdown...he reffered me to a crisis team which took 2 days to finally come out to see me...they said they would refer me to a phsychiartist and i'd get a call a few days later...up to yet i've heard nothing and i'm sinking fast!

Why doesnt anybody help me?

[lindahand]

Sometimes people fall through the cracks. It isn't anything about you, but about a system that is broken. Please use whatever courage you can muster and call them back. Keep calling them back until you get the help you need. Or go into your doctor and have him phone them. Sometimes a doctor to doctor call will do more than what we can do. And try to keep in your mind that depression is not forever.

Things are really really bad right now for you, but they won't always be this way. I can say that because I was as depressed as you are and I am okay now. It wasn't easy. It took three years of medication changes. Hopefully it won't take as long for you. Don't lose hope.

[Jaquta]

I think that people don't help because they don't always understand the urgency of the situation.
The distress feels very real to us but to others ... well, some just may not be able to comprehend it.  That goes for experienced staff as well.

I think that people don't always come or make appointments as promised due to high demand.  This is extremely unhelpful and damaging to us as patients.

My advice would be to talk to your husband or family.  Ask if they can look after your kids for a while and get help.

I think the best way to get help would be to go to the hospital.  If you are triaged at outpatients they may not give you an appointment for several days/ weeks depending on how they see the situation.  If you felt less distressed this might have been a good option.  Going through the hospital should take a lot of stress out of the situation.  A support person could be a good idea if you were willing to ask this of your friends or family.

You could try the crisis team too if you felt more comfortable going through them.  They should be able to arrange help too (although often don't in my experience).

There are options out there that could suit you, such as respite.  Hospital or a medication review may be needed to help stabilise you at the moment.  Psychotherapy session should be put in place.  There is support out there.  Often it's just a matter of accessing it.

[Peter Forster]

Thank you for reaching out for help. You obviously want and need for things to change. That is good.

What can be done?

There isn't any obvious way that I can change your family and doctor, so I guess it makes sense to start by thinking about things that you might be able to change.

And of course we need to start with very small changes since you are feeling so badly.

I wonder if it is possible that people are trying to help you but are feeling confused and frustrated about how to help.

Do you have any thoughts about what would be helpful? Are there things that are not helpful (and why)? Thinking through the answer to these two questions will allow me to be more helpful and may allow others to help more as well.