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1414299 tn?1282997917

:S ????

i had a dream i was on top of a car park i lost the plot u know  i was in a psychotic state and i thought things were chasing me and i was standing on the edge of car park crying wanting to die i was gonna jump when the psychatratic ppl turned up to try and talk me down i was shouting  i dnt want to live i cnt there gonna get me death is after ,me i do not belong on this world i was a mistake me i cnt live i was shaking i was scared but not of dying but of living then as i went to jump someone grabbed me pulled me back and i feel to the car park roof floor shaking crying make up down my face n there were the psychartist goign its ok we can help u n they started to read the statment to section me and i was shaking crying saying why did u stop me i wanted to die it seemed so rela like it gonna happen i was with two friends n they were the ones who called the ambulance n psych team, i can not shake this dream its like it is lerking with me sending me mad i do suffer with mental health problems and latley have had very rapid mood swings a few weeks ago i was extremely suicidal was self harming not getting out of bed crying all the time i was stopped in time from trying to commit suicide  like a week go i was very  hyperactive could not sit still be quite shopping talking fats rapid thoughts  no sense of danger getting in trouble sexual promiscuity then a few day later i snapped i was very agitated i was shaking in agitation loosing my temper crying all the time getting headaches n really angry and horrible thought rite know as i am writing this i am in a really anxious mood fidgety restless i also been told by friend i been acting realy strangely at time not making sense,   i am worried could this be a warning or is it just a dream with a message i do not want to ever be sectioned i been close to be sectioned in the past got off by the skin of my teeth  had to spend like a night or tow in hospital but so far managed to escape a proper sectioning by the skin of my teeth.
7 Responses
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1308134 tn?1295187619
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Writing down what you want to talk about would be a great help, I think. Let me know if you try it how it goes.
Helpful - 0
1448693 tn?1290987554
I ma very good at writing but talking out loud bout my feelings i am hopeless i will give them another try :S , i just hate all this and i want some answers and something to work i hate it it affects my life in so many ways and makes it uberable do u think my doctor and clincial psychologist could be correct with what they think is wrong that it is bipolar disorder, i keep getting sucicdal thoughts as well but i cant cope :(  :'( .
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I can understand your reluctance to access help.  I have had many bad experiences with my own psychiatric emergency team.  Many of those experiences have been hurtful, harmful and rejecting.

There have been many times when I have felt that I have had to hurt myself, or worse, in order for others to understand my distress.  It can become an extremely dangerous power struggle.

I have heard of people in my area and country who have killed themselves.  I believe that is mainly through lack of understanding and intervention.  I expect it must be difficult for a health professional to assess risk and to find a balance.  From a patient perspective it would be nice if they could get this right even a percentage of the time.

Accessing support has been a big trigger for me and as a consequence I don't have very much confidence in mental health professionals.  I have heard others talk about their positive experiences though.  That gives me some hope.

I'm getting side-tracked.
It sounds as though there needs to be better communication between your doctor and therapist and acute team.

It sounds as though things are out of control at the moment and could be better managed.  I think that taking your friend with you could be a good idea.  Perhaps you could write a list as the doctor suggested or maybe even print out a copy of your post.

Sometimes it is not about what you want to do but about what you need to do.
I vowed never to use my acute team again (because several years ago I was severely suicidal and homicidal and I was basically laughed at -not very helpful).  Earlier this year I had problems and it caused me to reevaluate things.
I think in order to preserve life, and to not make your situation worse or to allow it to get worse, then there are some actions that you do need to take.

I would strongly encourage you to seek professional help.  Discussing your experience with the anti-depressants is an important part of that too.
Re-read the doctor's post and make a note of what information is important to take.  A doctor should be able to guide you and help you through the process.  Don't forget to disclose how you feel or just how bad it feels to you, that can also be important.

Good luck.  I hope you have a better experience this time.
Helpful - 0
1308134 tn?1295187619
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I think that it would be really good to figure out how to slow down just a bit.
You have done such a good job of expressing yourself here surely you could find a way to explain what is going on to the acute team? You may have already tried this, but one of my patients has been very effective by just writing down one one sheet of paper a summary of information (it can be pretty stressful remembering everything when you go in to see an unknown health care person). She puts down here diagnoses, chief symptoms, and a brief medication history. Perhaps a friend could help you with that and then you could try getting help again?
Helpful - 0
1448693 tn?1290987554
This is butterfly0fairy i had some problems with my password and could not rest for some reason so i added a new profile same user name as before just with new on the end x
Helpful - 0
1414299 tn?1282997917
When i was suicidal and not getting out bed extra they gave me antidepressants but if i take them it sends me even more crazy i literally can not calm and everything seems really slow when the reality i am just really fast and i do not sleep or eat and they gave me the antidepressants against advice from my psychologist and doctor who believed all the last couple of years i had been suffering with bipolar disorder as mood fluctuate i have emotional outburst get manic and depressed i have tried to kill myself five times i self harm and i am very impulsive done all sorts of things getting in trouble etc and i become sexually promiscuous  and have also battled an eating disorder and often get distressed and overwhelmed, the acute pschatratic team are really bad over here i know someone who told them she was suicidal she has bpd and they said well if ur going to do it you will u, you will just be another static of a teen suicide n bascially there was nothign they could do , the little island i live on  had the highest rate of suicide through out the channel island and the uk so that is say something they dnt really care and you often here stories how they have failed to diagnosis people  and have let people down and the person has ended up dead or in a really bad way which may off been prevented, when my doctor and psychologist said they are worried it is bipolar disorder yes rite know she's  depressed but her mood swing all the time she been in and out of your acute psychiatry team for eating disorders and multiple suicide attempts etc they saw me because i was suicidal but they failed to get back in contact or even do a assessment on what my doctor n psychologist thought the problem was, infact they ignored it. i can not take the anti - depressants they make me worse.I do have a friedn who will take me down there but would you really want to go out there, they are useless and i would not know what to do and say and how the hell i make them listen for once
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Personally I think it was just a dream but having said that I believe dreams can convey subconscious thoughts and unprocessed material.  Dreams have meaning.

I think the dream material reflects your own thoughts and fears.

I think that you should seek an urgent psych consult/ appointment.  Do you have someone in your treatment team who you can contact?  If not, I would be concerned enough to tell you to go to your local hospital.

My concerns (other than possible safety issues and ?untreated bipolar) is that you feel so overwhelmed and distressed.

Talking to a doctor will help them to identify what is going on and help them to help you.  I think there is less chance of you being sectioned if you were to ask for help.

Are you able to ask a friend or family member to go to the hospital with you?
Helpful - 0

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