So...lately I have been very emotional and I have no clue why. I am constantly always worrying about everything all the time. Every single day I go through all different kinds of emotions, but mostly anger and I guess depression. I guess it would be diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder, but I feel like it's something more than that. Like when I get sad, it's not just being mopy and pouty, I get to the point where I cry and I feel like my heart is gonna burst, like how you feel when someone close to you dies and then few seconds later it's over I'm happy again. But when I get mad is what I'm more worried about than anything. Usually when I get mad I feel like someone just punched me in the face even though someone is just getting on to me for something I didn't do or even if I did do it. I just want to throw things and hit things to let out all my anger and that's when the problem really starts. Sometimes I just can't hold it in anymore and my anger turns into violence. I don't ever lay a hand on anyone besides my husband. When we argue I just can't help but sometimes I punch him. I try my hardest to control myself, but sometimes, I just can't. When I'm finished letting it all out a few seconds later I feel like nothing has happened and I start crying because I realized what I did was out of line and completely wrong. I'm not sure where all these emotions came from, I don't know if it's because I just recently had a baby 6 months ago or what, but I'm pretty sure I always felt like this before I even got pregnant, it just wasn't this intense and I could always hide it. But the only person I'm ever always happy with, no matter what is my son. I'm never mad or sad around him, but I'm scared when he gets older everything will change. If I treated my son like this I would just die! I mean my husband definitely doesn't deserve any of this at all already. I'm really scared and I really need an expert's opinion. I'm not ready to go see a doctor in person, so can you please help?
I am not sure that it is bipolar. There are several options including something called borderline personality (which is associated with very rapid shifts in mood). It really is going to be important for you and your family and your child that you go to see a psychiatrist or psychologist and get an expert opinion. It will be fine and it will be helpful.
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