A Limboland Parable

[Quixotic1]

thought it was time to revisit this.

Okay, I woke up this morning and this played out in my mind.  WARNING -THE FOLLOWING IS BIZARRE AND TWISTED - READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL!!!


Patient walks into doctor's  exam room and nurse asks, "Why are you here?"

Patient - "I've been diagnosed with ADS - Appendage Dropoff Syndrome."

Nurse, "Okay, the doctor will be in shortly."

Doctor - "Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pfufinek.  What can I do for you?"

P - "Well, I was diagnosed two months ago with ADS, but now my insurance has changed, and I'm worse, so I'm coming to you for care"

Dr. - "How was the diagnosis made?"

P - "Well, first my pinky and ring finger on the left fell off.  Then, a month later my left nostril fell off.  And shortly after that I lost my right earlobe."

Dr. - "I don't diagnnose ADS until 4 appendages have dropped off."

P - "Well, that is four, a nostril, an earlobe and 2 fingers!"

Dr. - "I would count the two adjacent fingers as one appendage."

P - "Okay, that's why I'm here.  Yesterday my right arm dropped off, and I'm really worried!  That makes 5 appendages, or four by your count.  Shouldn't I be on some Disease Modifying Drugs to slow all this down?"  The Patient lays the arm down on the doctor's desk.

The Doctor puts on gloves and distastfully sets it aside.  "Hmm...Does your urine glow in the dark?"

P -"No, but they said that only about 60% of patients' urine glowed in the dark."

Dr. - "I won't make the diagnosis without glowing urine.  Besides you're too old"

P - "But, there is no upper age limit.  Lots of people older than me have been diagnosed with ADS.  I've already been diagnosed and I'm getting worse.  I'm desperate!  Every morning I count everything to see that it's all still there!"

Dr. - "Ahhhhh, I see....Do you have a history of anxiety?"

P - "Only since things started falling off on me."

Dr. - "I think you should have a psychiatric evaluation. This all is just probably a stress reaction.

P - A STRESS REACTION!!!!  MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!

Dr. - "Have you had all of the mimics excluded? "

P - "I think so, I was checked for Farm Equipment Accidents, Gangrene, Motorcycle Crashes, Recurrent Ninja Attacks, Machine Shop Malfunctions, and evidence of Werewolf Infestation.  And of  course, I was checked for Absentmindedness, but there was no evidence that I merely mislaid something and didn't notice."

DR. - "Is that all?"

P - "I think so.  What about a DMD?"

DR. - Well, I don't think you're bad enough off yet to begin treatment. And there is no evidence that your disease is progressing.

P - What!!  MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!

Dr. -  "Any number of things could have caused that."

P - I don't understand how you can say that.  Other people with less disease than I have get the DMD's.  That's the current recommendation.  How can you say I'm not "bad enough?"

Dr. - "You can still walk and have full full use of your left arm, except for the two fingers.  They really aren't that much help anyway.  But, you should be evaluated for Leprosy.  Many people don't know that this, too, can mimic ADS.  It's rare, but someday I will find a case.  I have a contact at a leper colony in Brazil."  The doctor walks to the door, "Nurse, Please quarantine our patient here and make preparations to ship him immediatley to Brazil."

The Patient is led away in shock and bewilderment.

Sound familiar to anyone?

Quixxle

[bubbles_04]

hehehe, very funny! Lucky me I never had this problem (i was gold standard MS) but having heard lots of peoples stories, I see the relation! Thanks for posting.

[maxthecat43]

So funny!  Thanks for bringing this back.

Tammy

[stillsearching1121]

That sums it up to a T!  Thanks!  I needed that good laugh today ;)

[monnie115]

Love this!!

[dogmum]

*thank

[dogmum]

I needed this today!  I wish I could tank Quix for yet another very helpful post.  

Love it!

[SarahL2491]

Oh I know a neuro who is going to get a copy of this, the one who couldn't read my MRI....ha ha ha ha

I want what Quix is taking if this is part of her dream summaries!!

GREAT STUFF, I'll be laughing about this on the road all day!  Thanks Quix

[sllowe]

Dormanmom - thank you SO MUCH for bumping this!!!!!!!!

[dormanmom]

Just thought I'd bump this up, it hit too close to home not too.
C

[RAY911]

Hits home more then you know.

I went back to my Neuro and she is angry on what went on when I went to another neuro.  anyway long story short.  we are doing another round of 3t with and without on my brain and spinal cord, the first part of december and we go from there.

Thank's
Ray

[Salamander2]

Hysterical!!  Thanks for the laugh.
Sally

[OperaMBA]

You are wrong.

It is doodoodoc!

It gave me a couple of good chuckles too!  :-)

Opera

[Quixotic1]

Just for Richard.  I worry that this disdainful dododoc might ship him off to Brazil before he knows what hit him.

Q

[yorkieville]

Hi, Quix.

You made me laugh, but you also made me feel very aware that this is the reality of my life.

Sad in this great country of ours, a doctor cannot find anything to really ease my pain, let alone diagnose the cause.

Sheila

[julia111]

This is perfect!  Bizarre and twisted is good!

Julia

[Cre8_it]

I was laughing then my head fell off!!  Should I be concerned or should I just add this to my list of lost appendages?  Ha Ha Ha

Good one
Zeta

[Momzilla]

You thunk rightly.  It was time to revisit this.

Z*

[Lulu54]

I would love to see this illustrated and printed as a story book.  Cookies and milk for the snack for reading time would be nice too!  :-)

Lulu

[trueblue06]

Hey Quix,

Can I reproduce this let him read it then stuff it up my ex Neuro's right nostril?

Then I would tell him....
"Unfortunately, your nose will fall off in 24 hours but there is nothing anyone can do to help you as you don't have the required number of symptoms for any treatment. You will just have to put up with it, after all, you are getting OLD!"

I would say then that he could come back and see me in 12 months time if I can fit him in to my hectic schedule, but only if it doesn't interfere with my holidays!

( only kidding, but boy I would like to! )

Thanks for the laugh, some of us stuck in limbo can certainly relate to this alright!

TB

[goofysmom1]

As a new member, I haven't seen that before!  Very funny!  Thank you for bringing that back.

Chrisy

[Deej70]

OH that was hilarious! thanks for that laugh!!

My PCP asked me if I had anything in my life that was "stressing me out lately" and I'm like "oh, you mean BESIDES being here talking to you about the possibility of MS?? Besides the numbness, tingling, buzzing, twitching, dizziness??" Jeez Louise!

[Sarahsmom46]

This was so funny that I couldn't stop laughing.  Like the rest of the gang, I needed that laugh.  I wonder if I take a copy of this to my next doctors appointment whether he would find it humorous as well.  :)

Julie

[JulesL5S1]

Yep, at least I laughed before I head off to have a good cry and take a nap.  I'll show it to friends so they can have some insight into what I am going through.  Thanks

[Janette2836]

You are awesome.  Something I needed right now - a good laugh!

Thanks for sharing.

Janette