Yes, though in a different way than what you describe. What I have noticed is how my confidence has been affected, especially in the throes of a relapse. I can become very self-conscious about my movements as I often misjudge where I am in relation to objects, and frequently walk into door jambs and other people. I don't always trust my speech as sometimes words spill out in sentences that don't make any sense, as in pure jibberish, and very often I use the wrong word to desribe something. At home, these things happen and while annoying, don't stress me out, sometimes these kind of things can be downright funny. However these same things occurring in public can be very unsettling and embarrrassing, not just with strangers around but also in the presence of firends and co-workers who know i have MS. The effect on my self-confidence in public is probably the most signigicant way in which MS has impacted my life, much more than any particular symptom, or any worry about what the future may hold in terms of disease progression.
My "big test" is always the metal detector at the airport. If you hit the sides, they go off and you have to go through it again. My record is 4 times. I'm a big guy to start with, but I really have to work at not smacking my right shoulder (I always seem to fall to the right) into the side if that d*mn machine.
You know what, I noticed the sme ing this morning.
I was at the grocery store and was talking to someone I know.
She didn't notice but I realized how my speech gets messy and i was confused.
Also, my self confidence is definitely affected. I am embarrassed that I can't move fluidly anymore and people treat me differently because of the cane.
I m getting used to it but I have been home a lot during the summer being a teacher.
I have even stayed away from church because I don't want to newer any questions bout my health situation being in limbo.
Life is goig to get hectic in the next couple of weeks and I have to just realize that this is the new me no matter how i feel about it.
Thanks for the revelations and the help.
I notice the same thing. I get very self-conscioius, even around my closest friends. Lately, I have become quite tearful whenever I have some kind of moment in their homes. I am constantly assured by them that it is nothing, but it does not assuage me much. My heart is most broken for the people who no longer call or extend invitations.
I am certainly hopeful that this will be shortlived.
Yes It happens all the time - I am fine at home walk around do stuff - move slowly but still feel okay - Walk outside and all of the sudden my feet tense up and I can't bend my right leg at the knee - What happens to your hand happens to my feet!
I always feel like I am holding people up but it is really that when they are behind me I am more self-conscious! I hate invitations anywhere and try and find any excuse possible to not go anywhere at all other than work and grocery store. Have two weddings next year and am already trying to find a way out since I cannot walk property nor wear nice shoes anymore- don't think the tennies will work with a dress for a wedding!
Wow and I thought it was just me! Thanks for the insight.
I am the complete opposite. I walk better outside my home then in it. I think it's because I pay more attention when out and about and don't wanna look like a drunk lol In my house I'm banging into walls, furniture etc. Outside I do tend to walk slow and always have to yell at my hubby to slow down. I also notice if he holds my hand I'm much better. I'm not sure if I feel more balanced or what it is.
We're going to the beach/boardwalk in 2 weeks. This should be fun because my balance has been terribly bad the past few weeks. The excitement is just killing me lol Last time we went which was about 2 months ago my balance wasn't bad and my legs weren't to bad. I had no real issues with walking a few blocks to the boardwalk but on the boardwalk I had to take a few breaks but when we were ready to leave my legs were about done. Hubby just gave me a piggy back ride back to the car lol Good thing I'm a pretty little person :)
I have gotten to where it almost takes an army to get me out of my house these days... I don't want to be in public places, have the stares, or the whispers... People even talk to me differently... They don't want to gossip or talk about fun stuff, it's always about me and my health...
I do have to use a wheel chair but mentally I'm still the same Carol... I also will make excuses to not have to go out because of this... One thing that has hurt me the most also is the "friends" that never even call me any more... I have MS not Leprosy... Ugh... It does get depressing...
I'll be praying,