Believing in yourself

[HVAC]

When you are in limbo this is especially important but it is true for all of us. You know your body and what is going on it is hard when Doctors act like you are nuts when you describe what is going on. I was lucky the last few years of my diagnosis to have a Psychiatrist who stood by me and said you have something Neurological wrong with you. I do not know what it will turn out to be but it is Neurological and it is real. After my diagnosis he said he was there for me.

After my diagnosis my 30 year diagnosis of mental illness was taken away by all three of my Doctors. I got to believing I was nuts because I was told I was for so long. I even acted nuts because I had been mistreated so long by the system and the only person I could take all this anger out on was me.

Some in the medical community and others will always hold my past against me. I know who I am. I know what symptoms I have are real. I know what is not real.

The main thing is for each of us to know what is real and not to worry what a Doctor or a family member or anyone else might say. They don't live in our bodies.

As for character what really matters is what your dog or cat thinks of you. My five animals trust me with there lives. And Polly my deaf Dalmatian laughs at all my jokes.

Alex

[spastic]

Alex, beautifully said...  Brought a tear to my eye...  I remember that fight with Limboland all too well...  Everyone who is in h*ll of Limboland, don't ever give up on yourself, when I would get beat down, I would drag out my chainmail and shield and prepare for battle...  When you are finally vindicated, the heartache and pain of being in the dreadful depths of Limboland will be lessened greatly...  And oh what a joyous feeling that is!!!

Many cyber Hugs & Kisses,

Ada

[Udkas]

This is a great post, from someone who understands what it is like to be "on both sides of the fence", now diagnosed but also spending a long time in limbo.  

Thanks for sharing, it is sad that so many people did not believe you and dismissed your symptoms, I can understand my mother in law thinking perhaps there is nothing wrong as " i look well", and I am not sure that she would understand how the CNS works, but doctors they should be educated enough to understand that technology still does not tell us the whole story yet.  Your right animals are the best therapy and they are also very good judges of character.

Maybe instead of all these expensive tests, doctors should be listening to their patients, getting to know them, doing a very thorough examination to have good benchmarks, but yeah I know technology is a good thing too, pity it is not helping me with my definite diagnosis.

Thanks again Alex.

[HVAC]

I was told by the Doctor who sent me to a Neurologist in the first place it was just depression. I asked how can depression only effect one side of my body? She then sent me to a MS Specialist.

[drsdonthelp]

I love how you said, " one sided anxiety", LOL , that's what my neuro thinks, but even my ENT doc. saw me today  and my tremor in my left hand and said, How could he think you have anxiety on one side only? Doesn't make sense,,, and then he laughed... i laughed right along with him and agreed.

Thanks for the laugh, Pam  :)

[tremors10]

Thank you so much for posting this. It really helped me today! I saw a podiatrist last week because I've had problems walking downstairs. He, along with my PCP, believes that I have a neurological issue going on and wants me to get an EMG. I have yet to hear from the neurologist if he's willing to order the test.

I wish doctors understood how much their indifference affects our lives. Every time I think I might be going nuts, I just look at my right leg that has tremor issues.  We all know about that "one sided anxiety!" LOL!

I have two cats and a dog and, like others above, I couldn't make it through this without them. They love their mommy now matter what is going on.

Thanks again!!

[addicted2harleys]

This is such true and real inspiration, Alex.  I can't even begin to image the h e l l you went through over that very long period of time.  I think of my six years as being so very long.  You remind me everyday just with your posts to push forward.  I am honored to have run into you in this vast world of Internet space.  

Thanks for writing this today.  It came at a pretty perfect time for me...

Hugs,
Addi

[shermay]

My heart always goes out to those in limbo.

It's not a good place to be - worrying and waiting for tests, snooty Neuros - and yes the comments of 'it's all in your head' or the famous 'anxiety' comment!!

Great post Alex, my dogs also keep me sane even though of them is still poorly - but they never answer back :)

Debs

[Starryeyes2]

I identify completely Alex!  One of my nuero docs who allegedly specialized in MS told me that the reason I kept walking into walls and falling over was due to the fact that my husband was leaving for Iraq and I was just really stressed out...ok...

I had so many symptoms pointing to MS. This Dr told me that he doesn't like to diagnose MS, he refused to perform the spinal tap because he said "it just causes headaches" and would not hear o starting me on a dmd.

My 3 dogs have been my best friends..I don't know what I would do without them. My days would be very long and depressing..

Hugs to all-

Kristi

[drsdonthelp]

Alex,

Thank you for posting this!!!! Just today, I saw my psychologist, he asked about my tremor, so I showed him how it gets worse when pointing or movement. He wrote a letter to my neuro. stating that this tremor is NOT from ANXIETY !!!!!! He believes me, and he knows the h e l l     I have been going through.

I have been patted on the head, as LuLu stated, and was told to stop drinking coffee and relax. Then the pills, increase the dosage, and more pills.
SERIOUSLY??????

I do believe in myself, I will find my answers and I will have a Neuro. that believes in me too!!!
( I just reminded myself of the skit on SNL) just can't remember the saying. LOL


Hugs, Pam

[Lulu54]

I just talked to a friend at work today about this very theme - she is having  chest pains, been hospitalized, they have run all the cardiac tests and find nothing wrong but she knows something is amiss.  

Women especially get patted on the head, told to just go relax, prescribed valium or some other drug, and told to go home and get over it.  We see that problem here quite often,too.  It's not a problem exclusive to MS.  

Listen to your body - if you know something is wrong, then don't give up searching for the right clinician who can help find the answers.

best, Lulu

[Sidesteps]

Thank you Alex, much needed today. :)

[jibjen]

Hi Alex,

Thanks. So inspring for me since I have been in Limbo for 2 years have finally decided to go for a 2nd opinion. Your post gives me much encouragement to trust not only myself (mind) but my body to know what is going on and not to let anyone tell me any different. I am glad you had the support of your psychiatrist!

Thanks Again Jibjen

[MonkeyMom4]

Thank you for your words of encouragement. It gives me hope that someday I too will have an answer as to what is going on with my body.

Thank you.

-Kelly

(my animals LOVE me!! They are my saving grace) =)

[raj257]

Fantastic post and I can relate to every word of that.

Raj