EXHAUSTED

[pedsnurse]

Is there anyone out there tonite taht is so exhausted they cannot see straight??? I am in so much  pain! am taking most all medcom people now
, now I am expectied to be at work wheres the compassion aanthe standding

[pedsnurse]

Well lets see if my unnimle fingers and hands can coordinate the effort to type with out messing up this time. so now you;ll have letters to make up one!! My efforts in driving a stick shift are trying some days when my legs wont do their job!! I just have learned to get up from a sitting position very slowly without puting full stength on either leg and the same from a standing bent over position cuz the legs donwanna work either.
I have a GS position now worrking for the Govt I made it scarceely past my 1yr anniversary which means at anytime during your 1yr thaey can let you go with no warning, once past 1yr they have to work harder to fire you, i amstill not completely out of woods just yet i guess there is hidden  3yr  tenure after 1st 1yr pprob. So I still have to really careful calling out. My most enjoyment hahaha was when i was recently called in office with headnurse she councilled me for attendance and stated there seems to be a pattern of call outs on  mondays--now if anyone gets a migraine on a wknd they now it usually last 3-4 days so if I get one on a wknd then chances are I will call out on a monday, and then only if my vision is disturbed. So even though i have provided her with documentation of these headaches and a letter even from my neuro, they still think its conspicous. ( so sorry for typos) That i would call out on a mondsay.  Just once i wish we could put them in our bodies just for a day so they could see what we go thru. Not wish it on them but just 1-2 days.
So when I get in to see my neuro again i will have her follow up on this she did ask if i had seen a rheumo prior?
Thanks
Stephanie

[pedsnurse]

Hi,
WOW!!!!
I dont think my neuro is a MS specialist because when I was referred to her I told her r\then "I have all the classic sx of MS'' and thats when  she ordered the MRI STAT!!
and back to  office afterwards. she and another neuro looked  over but i dont know if they were MS spec. most of my pain is under control due to Lyrica 225 bid and Nortrip tyline 150 at bedtime and za naflex at hs and ultram thru out day.Nothing for tremors/shakes or wobbly sea legs! but I cant complain after your story!!!
Why cant they just admit they dont know and tell us they need to research other than a mess of referring Drs. You know Nurses are held accountable for our actions!!!!!
I just dont understand. I used to be a 50word typist with no mistakes and now well lest jsut say that doesnt exist anymore!!
I dont know who to go to anymore! Havent serheen a

[Rena705]

Hi Stephanie...Just to let you know that I am basically in the same limboland you are although I have been diagnosed with MS...twice!!

I was first diagnosed in 1993 when I presented with Grand Mal Seizures and an MRI as well as my LP were positive.  I have been in remission since until about June of 2007.  I have been on Tegretol for the seizures since then.

I became ill in October 2006 and was diagnosed with Paratrigeminal Neuralgia (PN) in Feb. 2007.  Underwent two rounds of IV steroids and Prednisone and finally neither worked to stop the pain or the droopy eye of the PN (you can google PN).  I was then
increased on my Tegretol and given Topamax...it didn't work.  I was then given Neurontin with the Tegretol and every time I would see my neuro he would increase my dosages and unknown to me he was overdosing me and I know he didn't even notice.  He never, ever looked at my chart until November 2007 when I had just gone through a 10 day bout of severe vertical double vision that he was looking for a copy of my MRI...HE HAD NOT DONE ONE!!  He did a CT Scan in March2007 and kept referring to it as my normal MRI...what a total idiot this guy was and I hate to say it but he is an MS Specialist and also a top researcher in our province!

Well when the results were back from this MRI he had his nurse call to say that "Rena, the MRI showed multiple lesions on your brain which means you have MS and you should get a second opinion!  BLOODY COWARD, he couldn't even call me himself and then just tosses me on to another neurologist!

This is when I find out from my new neurologist that my drug levels in my blood are way high and that I need to be weaned from some of these meds.  The pain level has not decreased mind you but they have to lower my doses.  So, I have been under the impression for about 6 months that I am having an MS relapse or as my last neuro always put it "underlying symptoms of your MS".  

My new neuro has stated that my MS is still in remission and that I did not have a relapse.  However, she doesn't know what is causing my neuropathic pain so she tells me that I am to deal with her through my g.p. from now on and I will have no direct contact with her!  So, what's up with that?  So I start to see my g.p. who has already told me in the past that she knows nothing about MS and she doesn't know what is causing all my pain but she will try some different meds and if the side effects are something that I will have to learn to deal with, so be it!  I ask her how I am to get on with my life, I can't work, I can't drive, I can't do much of anything and she says that is mostly due to the meds and if you have to live with the side effects in order to deal with the pain it's something I will have to get used to.  She has given me a disablility tag for our truck, she has advised me to apply for government disability plan and she still doesn't have an answer for all of this ****!

So here I am with two diagnosis of MS, I am still not on the disease modifying drugs regardless of a two positive MRI's and a positive LP.  I have suggested to my gp that I see a rheumatologist...she wouldn't have thought of it that's for sure!  I have an appt in June with the rheumy.  I am now on Lyrica 300mg/day and Tegretol 900mg/day and in a whole lot of pain!  My dr. has gone off to Mexico for vacation and won't be back for 2 weeks. Wish I could get away on a vacation from my pain for two week as would most on this forum!  So that is me in a nutshell...not that I'm nuts but getting there...

Oh Yeah...Evoked Response testing is a test whereby they find out how different nerves respond to stimuli.  This testing is usually done if a Lumbar Puncture is inconclusive.
Is your neurologist an MS Specialist?  There is a difference and if you have an MS Specialist read an MRI and it is inconclusive and there is a possibility of an MS diagnosis a Lumbar Puncture would be next in a specialist's list of tests.  Then if the Lumbar Puncture is inconclusive, Evoked Response testing may be done.

Lots' of Hugs,

Rena

[pedsnurse]

am sorry too! Sometimes I take things deffesively! I did reread that letter and even I couldnt understand it,thats feaky. I hate feeling the way i hate feeling the way  i do and nobody knows whats wrong with me and i keep being sent to different Drs I get so frustrated because this is real pain and i do shake and have tremors and i know how wobbly legged i get! If this is something they havent seen dont you think they would look it up or research it so i could have a name or at least try yo manage the sx? A nurse would have to research it!! why cant drs try!!!!
need to go eat something cause it is now almost noon again,  2 days in a row.
thanks for the hugs and the caring!

Stephanie

[Rena705]

I didn't mean to come across like I was attacking you.  The statement about the doctor who told you that it is your job that makes you tired, the doctor said it meaning that there could not be any other medical reason for you to feel the way you do...I don't remember which post it was of yours but I should have quoted it and let you know where it was from...sorry about that.

I understand where you are coming from with being a peds nurse...I used to be in healthcare and it is incredibly stressful no matter which department you  work in!  I just want to ensure that your healthcare is being looked at...I mean after looking at what you wrote last night...really, don't you think your letter to you would be similar?

Just want to ensure you are ok and that is why we work so well as a group...we look out for each other and it's amazing what can come across through the printed word.

I am going to head to bed now but I hope to talk to you tomorrow...would like to get to know you better!

Lots of Hugs,

Rena

p.s. I will explain evoked response testing then too ok?

[pedsnurse]

No wonder you got freaked from my 'exhausted' comment! I just read it and I got concered at and didnt understand it! Now you see what I mean when tired mixes with brain and fingers not keeping up with each other!!
That comment was horrible!! Usually by the end of the week I am wiped out!  Wow, so sorry!
Stephanie

[pedsnurse]

Hello,
I am feeling better have had some sleep! I look forward each week to the wknd!
I must clear a few issues up. First of all, I do have a neurologist who has been following and caring for me. Second of all, I do take time off if I feel I bad. I also have some really good coworkers that help we work as a team very well in the clinic. Third I have not had the lumbar puncture yet, what is the Evoked Response Test? Am confused on your last statement about a dr who said my job is making me tired? I am pedsurse in a clinic so I am on my feet for 8hrs. so understanably most people would be tired, I just seem to get there more than  a normal persom with out problems. Working in a peds office I have to masque my sxs for the childrens' sake! The drs i work for are understanding and encouraging! And I spoke to my head head boss the other day letting her know about upcominig surgery and we spoke about this issue and she was very empathetic, she has come back from her sugery a new person! I truely believe she did some soul searching as she said she had done! She was my job worry, she wasnt the  nicest person in the world!  I will let you know what my neuro says after next visit! I do know that I think this new muscle relaxer is not helpiing the lack of balance in my legs I think it is causing me to fall w/o warning! We need a diffierant medicine I do believe!
Well I need to go lay down and change all the clocks ahead!    I think they just need to leave them one way or the other!!!
Stephanie

[Rena705]

Hi Stephanie...I was only being honest because I was afraid for you honey...the way that you were "speaking" on here last night was rather frightening and I thought you were on your way to work!  The way you are "speaking" now after a few hours of sleep is unbelievably different and you should take notice of it yourself honey!

I really can't see you losing your job Stephanie?  You are a nurse in high demand everywhere right now but if you were to go to work in the shape you were in last night and end up making a mistake that might be life threatening to a child, not having a job would be the least of your worries.

I hope that you have considered this very carefully honey.  I have read your other posts about the accidents that have happened but will the next accident be really serious?  You should really look into taking some short term disability time maybe...this is what that is for...you have worked hard for this over the years, now might be the time to take advantage.  

Please think about this very carefully ok? It's a Wednesday afternoon and you are feeling really tired because you couldn't sleep well last night...you need to chart for the little girl you have just seen and you can't seem to make sense of the chart you are looking at and you do the best you can...BUT...you have put all of the pertinent information on the chart a** backwards and the next nurse on shift comes along and goes by what you have charted...hmmm...she reads that this child needs another shot of painkiller in her IV and all of a sudden the child overdoses!

You know what your job entails but from what I have read you are in a position where you hold little people's lives in your hands and you are responsible to ensure that they are safe...

I certainly wish you luck in your search for a diagnosis Stephanie and if you need support I will provide what I can but please think very carefully about what  your next step should be.

I looked at the past posts but I couldn't see if you have had a Lumbar Puncture?  Have you have any Evoked Response Testing?  If you haven't, I would suggest that these would be next in this order in the search for an MS diagnosis.  I also couldn't tell if you have been seeing a neurologist or an MS Specialist.  There is a difference in that the MS Specialist is trained to look for lesions on an MRI whereas a neurologist or a radiologist are not, nor do they have the experience an MS Specialist has.  Even for an MS Specialist to do an in-office examination, it will be more thorough than that of one done by a neurologist and this examination is VERY important part of looking for a diagnosis of MS.

I am wishing you all the luck in the world honey that you find out what the cause is of all your symptoms!  I just want you to make me feel more confident that you are physically capable of carrying out your job duties safely.  Let me know about whether you are seeing a MS specialist or not will you?  That dr. that told you that your job is making you tired and is causing these symptoms is full of ****!  Most people work M-F and they don't have any problems such as this!  This is just an excuse on his part because he is just too darn lazy to do his job properly!  You need to get yourself to an MS Specialist lickety split honey...please!

Lots of Hugs,

Rena

[pedsnurse]

Thank you for your honesty! I have a very good friend back home in Ks and her name is Rena tooo!!!!
I read you email at 3am this mornin and is now 520am I crashed and burned last night and am getting caught up on emails and will go back to sleep!
I am trying not to call out too much so I dont loose my job!! I work all day m-f so I usually come home from work aroound 5pm take my meds read emails and am usually out by 9pm and back up at 6am so I sleep/rest alot on wknds! my house shows it!! I take advantage of the good pain  free days when they happen which isnt often  but often ehough when u over due it!!
Well am getting sleepy now that the birds up and singing loudly!
Thanks again, hope to hear from you soon,
Stephanie

[pennst8r]

Absolutely! I am so tired I can hardly see straight (OK, that's not all that unusual fo rme these days, lol). But can I sleep? Nope. I live for the weekends when I can nap when I need to.

Penn

[LLWB]

I was so tired when I got home from work I just collapsed on the bed...but the cat & dog needed peed and fed, litter box needed changed, etc. Poured a nice vodka and diet tonic. I was so tired at work driving today, I had to stop twice, I was afraid of falling asleep. And every stop light or stop sign, had to put car in neutral and step on brake with right leg, couldn't hold the clutch in with left leg. Unfortunatel it almost takes an act of congress to get a sick day off work for me..I have to call in by 6:30 in morning.and I don't get up until 8-9.. Tell me how to work that? My boss is a real jerk. And until I'm out of limboland and hav a diagnosis, I don't want to go into my symptoms with my boss. I've had 3 surgeries in the 10 years I've worked there, none elective, one broken ankle, and one torn achilles tendon, and I've had to listen to him rant about it every year at evaluation time. Wish I could win the powerball.I would tell him to "Take this job and shove it, I ain't working' here no more!. I hav a felling I will be napping 5-6 hourse both days this weekend, as well as 8-9 hrs at night.....Maggie

[young at heart]

FATIGUE IN ITSELF IS DEBILATATING, RENA HAD A GREAT SUGGESTION AS IN TAKING A SICK DAY AND GETTING SOME REST.

SWEETIE MANY OF US CAN RELATE TO YOUR FATIGUE.

INORDER FOR YOU TO HELP OTHERS YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST.

BETWEEN THE FATIGUE AND PAIN,YOU NEED TO RELAX AND PUT YOUR FEET UP AND REST.

T

[monotreme]

Yes, there are some forum members who have talked about their exhaustion.  You have company here.  However, as a nurse, you might want to "nurse yourself" and stay home and call in sick.  You sound totally worn out.

My husband, who is undiagnosed, almost fell asleep at the wheel while driving tonight.  he was in bumper to bumper traffic and the constant trying to lift his feet to go from brake to gas pedal made him so tired that he pulled over to the side of the road and took a nap.

So please, stay home from work if you can.

Elaine

[Rena705]

Hi pedsnurse...we haven't met but my name is Rena and I have been following some of your story.  You sound tonight as though you might want to take a sick day?  Are you aware how out of sync your writing is tonight?  Do you honestly think that you will be able to perform your job duties to the best of your ability?

I am not judging you honey...I am worried about you...if you are that tired, are you going to be safe enough to go out into the world on your own?

The compassion and understanding are here and I am really really worried that you are making a mistake by going in to work...what do you think?

Hugs,

Rena