Feeling a little Washed out

[Quixotic1]

Hi, Friends, you may or may not have noticed that I havedn't been around much.  Slipping into a depression of sorts, I think.  Even my raccoons noticed.  One spent the whole evening with just his nose and eyes in the room, chirtling at me every once in a while, like he was just keeping me company.

I'm in my 6th UTI since they began in June.  They always clear up nicely on the Bactrim, but are always back in just about a month.  The incontinence is worsening, and I didn't think that was possible.  The urine is now sippiong out with out any forewarning and it's happening in all positions except lying back.  I went through 5 (five) changes of clothes in the last 24 hours and the washing machine is getting a work-out.  I don't know if the self cath'ing is contributing to the infections, but I'm going to stop it and see if they is a relationship.

Right now, I'm clearing my room in preparation for mopping it - again.  Compared to pain, this is nothing, and I hate to whine about it, but I am soooo tired of this whole process.  Right now I just don't want to think about MS and have been spending more time with a social knitting group.  But, I'm even having accidents there and it is a basic drag.  They are wonderful women with whom I feel totally safe.  They understand the problem and are gently accepting without being solicitous.  Still, it's a problem I can never leave at home.

The depression makes me want to shrink from the things I need to do - like continuing with the advanced part of the incontinence physical therapy.  They might want to try me on an E-Stim program, but what needs "stimulating" is the outlet sphincter.  Apparently it left without a forwarding address.  Maybe a cork and some Super Glue would work.

So, give me a few more days.  I'll be back, you know I always am.  You have great minds and companions here and the info flow is so righteous!  I'm proud to be a part of you all.

Welcome to all the new faces.  And to all of you who have messaged me with questions and comments - one- Thank You and two - I will answer.

Quix  :((

[tjj3761]

HUGS......Quix.....

Feel better soon.  You have to take breaks every once in awhile.  Knitting is a great way to do that--girlfriend!

Love,

Terri

[michelleislay]

thinking of you during this rough time quix.  

i too am so glad you've got a good group of women to knit and feel comfortable around.  that is wonderful and i hope you find tons of support from that whilst you are away from here.  

and as for the depression, i am so sorry you are feeling it, but very impressed that you are also so aware and seemingly on top of it...though can one really ever be "on top" of depression??

i truly wish i could help to take some of your suffering away.  you seem to deal with everything with such grace and humor and it just isn't fair that you should have your issues escalating so--  perhaps you need to complain about it all a bit louder because it is clear that whomever or whatever is in charge of dolling out these issues simply hasn't realized you don't need any more challenges added to your plate!!  

thinking of you and wishing you well,

xo michelle

[michelleric]

((((Mama Quix))),

I am so sorry you are feeling bad.  I am glad your knitting group gives you pleasure.  I find it really emotionally good to have things in our lives that have nothing to do with MS.

Sometimes the whole MS saga is so draining and it is nice to get away from it all and gives us a sense of "normalcy" to be without the constant thoughts or symptoms of MS related issues.

Sometimes or lots of times, it is impossible to physically get away from it, but emotionally it can do a world of good.

I am thinking of you and you are missed.  Sending happy thoughts to you and big hiugs,
Michelle

[fortywhat2]

Sorry you're feeling crappy!  When I was working we had a patient that had difficulty with incontience and UTI's and we discovered the incontience was from the UTI's and the UTI's were from her self-cathing...   I imagine part of the depression is from the incontience... so, I hope everything improves and we can once again have our Quix back :)
Feel better!
Debbie

[Deb61]

I hope that you're feeling better soon.  I hope our posts show how much you are loved, respected, and missed!  

Lots of hugs,
Deb

[lovemy6monkeys]

Awww, Q...lots of ((hugs)) coming your way.
~Jess

[rendean]

You are always missed. I 'm sorry it is because if continuing urinary issues. I'm  thankful for you that the knitting group is providing a great diversion from the frustrating routine.

Come back when you are ready. Missing your wit and wisdom!!

Ren

[marymoto]

hope you get feeling a bit better soon. hugs

[Sarahsmom46]

You are always there for us thick and thin and we are there for you as well.  Take some time, regroup, rejuvinate, realize that life sometimes just gets in the way, and come back when you can.

I will be thinking about you and looking forward to when you are able to make it back on the forum.

Keep being the  tough cookie that you are.

Julie

[suzsibs]

Quix
Look at all these lovely messages and know we are all here for you, as you are for us.
The knitting circle sounds like a really good way to keep busy and socialise.
Maybe you could knit yourself a mop at your knitting circle ;o) if you leave a strand free I'm sure your cats will oblige and drag it round the room for you. Keep your lovely smile and sense of humour and don't let the demons drag you down, it's a long way back up.
You take care of yourself.
Suz

[luvsummer]

I hope you are feeling better soon.  Take care.

Luvsummer

[MonkeyMom4]

We always notice when you're away!

I hope you can find the answers to all your UTIs!!!  That is NOT fun!

Get well soon.

Smile =D

-Kelly

[Audrey_M]

My dear Quix:

I am so sorry to hear that things are getting even tougher for you. I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like for you, physically and emotionally.

You have put forth such a brave face while dealing with this, humanizing it, making urinary incontinence and infections a subject open to discuss by using you humor and exceptional storytelling abilities.

I hope that the medical profession is able to work with you to find better treatment for you, so that you may enjoy a better quality of life. Five changes of clothes in one day does not sound like a good way to live. It sounds worrisome if the siphoning occurs in all positions except lying flat.

The cats and raccoons are probably missing you as much as we do!

Hugs,

Audrey

[CindyLouWho50]

I haven't been on here very long but I can tell you are an important and cherished person to everyone. Please feel better soon and take care, sending lots of mental hugs!

Cindy

[HVAC]

Sounds horrid!

Alex

[lydia231]

I am so sorry to hear of all you are going through. I hope you can find a solution soon. I have suffered from depression most of my adult life and feel deeply for your pain. It sounds like you have a wonderful group of people around you that care very much about how you are feeling.  I find this is the most important thing when I become depressed, just knowing someone is there that cares.

Blessings and hugs

[coffeeom]

I Hope you are feeling better soon Quix...We do miss you around here..  :(  xoxoxox  Love,peace&Light  ... Linda

[RedFlame]

Quix, I believe most of us can tell when you haven't been around for a while.  I have missed you and I know everyone else has too.  

I am truly sorry that you continue to struggle with this issue and that a solution has not been found.  You have dealt with this for too long without a break.  And having a constant infection takes a toll on you.

Thanks for letting us know what is happening.

Sometimes the best medicine is to take a break from this site and spend time with other people.  I hope you get alot of knitting done and have a good time in the midst of this

Hugs,   Red

[essdipity]

Sending good wishes to our Q. I really hope there's a better way to manage your urinary problems. That must be awful.

Hugs,
ess

[sllowe]

Doc Q,

It is nice to hear of those special ladies @ the knitting group.

Hope your able to knit yourself up some spirits.  

See you during better days :(

xoxoxo
shell

[Phyllis2010]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this -- you've been so very helpful to me. As one knitter to another, knitting circle is the BEST therapy because you end up with help on complex patterns and you'll have a beautiful sweater or something. (I used to participate in what we called a knitting bee -- I miss it). Miss you too -- feel better -- here's hoping the tides recede...XXOOXX Phyllis

[hbananas]

Oh, Wise One, I'm sorry you're having to go through this valley.  It's wonderful you have the knitting circle and feel supported there.  We will soldier on until you feel up to it again.

[Sparkysarah]

You give so much to this forum and we have all missed you greatly and feel so blessed to have your insight, advice and professional support.

I am so glad that you are able to tell us when things are not going well for you as this forum needs to be about giving and taking and as you will see from all the lovely messages everyone want to be there for you and it is time for you to reach out as you have done to all  your friends who so appreciate you.

Take care and big hugs

Sarah x

[ANonnyMouse73]

Quix I haven't been here long enough to get to know you, but you were very helpful and friendly when you answered one of my questions and I really appreciated it. You are obviously well regarded here with good reason. I look forward to reading from you again when you get back.

Bec