Financial Problems

[Brianna44]

My name is Brianna, I just turned 18 and I was diagnosed with MS this summer about three months ago two weeks after my dad passed away. My mother also has MS but she hasn't really been there for me since my dad passed away. She's disabled, but she has turned to alcohol and drugs since my dads passing. She has also been recently in the psyciatric hospital as well as jail. Im away in college and am having a hard time trying to figure out how to pay for books/college and balance school, MS, and a job.

I don't qualify to become independent without going to court and I dont want to ruin my mothers and my relationship completly but I'm not sure what else to do. She hasn't/ doesn't want to/ can't help me and financially I can't afford college or medical bills unless I either become independent or get more financial aid. I was wondering if anyone knew about any options I could take. I also can't take out a loan by myself and can't depend on her to cosign for me. I looked into the MS Society scholarship but I don't fit the critera to apply because I'm a freshman in college.
I'm feeling really hopeless and just hopes someone has any ideas. Thank you!

[doublevision1]

Your suggestion about Oprah made me think of a new show I've caught a few times recently, Lifechangers hosted by Drew Pinsky.  It seems at the end of each episode a request for help is granted to a viewer who writes in.  The concept is that the show provides some relatively modest help which has the ability to help someone achieve a goal / change their life.  In fact I think one of the requests had to do with help paying for school.  Anyway as you say, it's worth a try!

[jumpinjiminy]

If you're considering changing colleges, look into some of the bigger, more well-funded private schools. Many of them are offering scholarships to middle class families up to $90K in income. The scholarships cover everything the student would have to borrow in loans, so you can graduate loan-free.

My heart goes out to you. Many hugs, and I hope something comes your way. There is somebody, somewhere out there that can and will help you with this. Leave no stone unturned. Maybe even contact Oprah or the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. You never know, and it's worth a try.

[MsmsinFl]

Social Security is very strict about how payments made for the benefit of a minor (like you) are used.  So you really do need to contact SS to get the direct deposits changed, and to see whether you are now old enough to get them to send directly to you (I think as long as you are under a certain age, and in school, you can qualify).  SS has a lot of good info online, so look there too.

And private colleges usually are much more flexible (and have more money) than state universities when it comes to Need-based OR non-need based scholarships & grants.  DO keep private college as an option, and talk to your current school, just as everyone has already said.

.
COBOB:  Been missing you -- glad you're back!

[COBOB]

Since you are in the US, you might also try: http://www.benefits.gov/
There are millions of dollars in grant money available that you just need to apply for (with the correct need.)  The site will guide you to the ppropriate programs.  

I am actually applying for assistance through AgrAbility for aids to maintain our small cattle herd.  Yes, they have help for disabled farmers and ranchers.  There is also quite a few  educational grants and vocational rehabilitation grants.

Bob

[doublevision1]

You've gotten really good advice above.  I think all of the suggestions are excellent.  Another thought came to my mind, which unfortunately won't be much help because you are in the U.S.  In Canada, the MS Society awards bursaries of $500 per academic year to university students who either have MS or have a parent with MS.  I mention this to you as the NMSS or your local MS society chapter may have something similar in place, so be sure to ask about it.  

Actually I just remembered in Canada if a student has a parent/grandparent who is a military veteran there is bursary money available through Canada's DVA.  Or at least this used to be the case.  I found out about it too late, when I was near graduation, but I would've been eligible as both grandfathers and a great-grandfather served in France in WWII.  If you have/had someone in your family who has served, you might want to check this out with the appropriate government agency in the U.S.

I know of a situation similar to the one Kelly mentions above.  I have a friend who had most of her music degree paid for by a wealthy, anonymous benefactor, someone who approached the school seeking to support students who were struggling financially as they pursued a degree specifically in the arts.  

You never know what kind of help is out there till you ask, and I'm glad you are planning to do just that.  Pursuing your degree in spite of the challenges you are facing is really admirable, and I'll bet you'll find people who will be impressed by this and  who will be more than happy to do what they can to help you reach your goals.  Good luck!  And let us know how you make out.  You may discover resources that will be valuable to someone else here who is in a similar predicament.

[Brianna44]

Thank you so much everyone, I'm currently enrolled in a private school, but am planning on having to go back home to NY to a state school. I was supposed to recieve social security but I was only 17 so they direct deposited into my moms account and getting it from here is near imposible. I don't really have uncles or aunts but I have my grandparents (my dads parents) and they would do anything for me but theyre on a fixed income so there is only so much they can do. I talked to a counselor but it was only about my dads passing. I have a list of advisors I'm going to contact soon and see if they can help.

Thank you guys so much for your help, I really appreciate it!

[anon07072023]

My family's story is a little bit similar to yours. My dad died just a few days after my younger brother graduated from high school (this was just a few yrs ago). At that time, my mom was also disabled from her cancer, so she wasn't working either.  

My brother went in to talk to the people at the college (I think the financial aid office) he was going to and told them his story to see if there was anything that they could do to help. Towards the end of his first semester, they had a very wealthy family that wanted to know the names of any students that were trying to overcome severe obstacles.  Since he had already spoken with the people at his university, they recommended my brother right away to them.

My brother was fortunate enough to have almost his entire college paid for by this very generous family (including about 10 other students, too).  
I know this is pretty lucky, and probably unlikely for you. But if you go talk to your university, then maybe they also have donors that are looking to help students that are having an overwhelming amount of struggles. It's worth a shot....

It's is commendable that you are not giving up and are looking for help. I hope that help finds you....

Good luck to you,
Kelly

[maestro1959]

Hi Brianna,

I, too am sorry to hear of your struggles, and especially the loss of your dad.  Under typical circumstances most universities will not allow you to "financially emancipate" from parents until age 21 or 25.  These are new rules to take some strain off the financial institutions, at least in theory.
Your scenario is surely one that would qualify you as an exception to the rule.

All the information given above is outstanding.  Take it to heart, and use their suggestons.  You also need to contact Social Security Administration, as I believe you are eligible for a monthly stipend through them.  This is as a result of your father's death, and possibly because of your mother's status.  It is certainly worth checking into.  You may want to make an appointment in order to explain fully your situation.

Above all, do not give up.  Do you have an aunt or uncle to help you navigate these waters?  They can seem daunting.

Best wishes,
Beth

[Buffy1970]

Sorry to read about your troubles Brianna.  I'm not sure if there is a financial reason that you are not considered ind or some other reason.  However, in most states the age of majority is 18, sometimes 17.  Have you checked to see if you have been given the correct information?  

If this is strictly about school financial aid you may not qualify for some grants b/c of your family's expected contribution.  However, call the 800 number and ask if there is anything else you can do.  Very often they can direct you to the right people.  Don't limit yourself to the normal venues of aid.  Don't give up even if you have to wait out a semester.

You may want to check out edu.fastweb.com - this is a search engine for financial aid.  It is free.  Never pay anyone to find financial aid as they are usually only using the free sites you have access to.  It takes a bit of time but it's helpful.

Good luck to you and your family.

[summerluvr]

Hi I am in Canada so things might be different, but my university had what they call "bursary" for people who could not afford to pay for school.   You need to make an appointment with someone either in your college registrar office, or financial aid to discuss your options. Also, my university has something called "disability services" where you go and meet with a specil counselor educted in accomodation and rehab and they figure out ways to accomodate you in the normal class (eg, writing tests in a better environment with more time, help to get around the campass) and will aslo be able to help you apply for funding.   My cousin who is severly diabetic, had her college pay nearly her whole tution and they gave her a free laptop to make class notes easier.   I encourage you to reach out to all the services your school has.  It will involve talking to people, and it may take a few tries but I think eventually you will find the right person!  There is help out there.   Are you a member of a church or anything?

[sllowe]

Hi Brianna,

So sorry for what you are going through. I'm glad you are seeking ways to stay in school - Though you are not independent status, your Mom is disabled, and therefore, you should qualify for grants for school. Also, sadly, since she is in a facility, this too may qualify you for independent status.

I do not know how you are going to get the tax information to file the fafsa, or how to proceed regarding your status, but definitely take the good advice above regarding those resourses at the school. Be sure to ask how to get the proper documents to file independent. Keep pushing, and never give up on your education. I wish you and your Mom well. Sorry for the loss of your Dad.

-Shell

[Lulu54]

Welcome to the forum here. I hope we will be able to help you in some way - we will at least be here for you to bounce ideas of all while you try to sort out this mess.

Getting to the right person in a financial aid office can be difficult - do you have a women's center on campus?  Do you have a counseling center?  Get both of them involved and have them help to advocate for you on campus and negotiate the system.

The call I really want you to make is to the NMSS and ask to speak with one of their advocates.  You need to speak to someone who can guide you with all directions of this  - from their website-

MS Navigator®
Finding answers and making decisions relies on having the right information at the right time. MS Navigator® provides answers to your questions and access to information about all of the options available to you. call an MS Navigator at 18 00   34 4   48 67.

stay in touch,
Lulu

[Sparkysarah]

I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis at such a young age and your recent loss. It feels as if you are going through a very tough time and it is particularly hard when your Mum has her own challenges. I cannot give you any advice financially as I live in the UK and know nothing about the USA system. However on a pastoral theme, I am wondering if  you would be able to access some counselling through college to help you make sense of all that you have recently been coping with and to help you with your bereavement.

You will find this a supportive forum and there are many folks here who will be be able to offer you help, empathy and advice.

Take care and try and look after yourself.

Best wishes

Sarah

[Sumanadevii]

Oh yea....and keep that spunk.  It is what will save you and your future!

[Sumanadevii]

Run..don't walk to the financial aid office at your college.  If they won't help begin a letter writing campaign.  Is it a state college?  Go straight to your senators or representatives.  Write to the dean of the college.  Attach to your letter documentation of needing help...your father's death certificate, your mother's jail record, your mother's health record, etc.

Just don't give up and walk away.  There is help.  It is a matter of learning to scream louder than the one next to you!!!!!