My Faith Has Been Shook !

[mae1]

First I want to say I kind of feel bad for posting because I dont comment very much here. the truth is alot of times i just dont know what to say but when I do I comment.
I have said for a long time now I have an unshakable faith. well my faith has been shook this last year. I have had 3 relapses in 6 months, i have 5 new lesions on my brain, I found out in jan. i have a cyct on my right overy the size of a tennisball ( I see my doc. on the 13th of lthis month to find out if i need surgery),  and the latest is i found myself in the ER sun. night with sever pain under my right rib cage all the way into my back. had an ultasound yesterday morning and will find the results out today at 5:00pm. my doc. thinks i have gallstones and he said if I do i will need surgery.
I just dont understand why all this is happening.......
I am only 37 years old and up until a few years ago i have always been very healthy except for some female problems.
I know in my heart im not being punished for anything but their are times when my head questions "am I drawing this bad energy to me" I know thats not true but dam I just want to work and take care of my family.............
I am so endept with medical bills right now I just cant emagen haveing  surgery right now no less two.
ok, thanks for listening to me guys, your all very good at that  and I needed to get this out today....
hugs
april

[mae1]

WOW!!!!!!!! Im really moved with all of your responses.thankyou, thank you!!!!!!!
well the good news is no gallstones, gallbladder looks very healthy. Im so relieved to here this. Bad news is my gyn thinks there is trouble with the cycst so he's moveing my appt. up to tomorrow for ultrasound to see If i'll need surgery. Im a little worried about the results but very grateful my gallbladder is ok. I had to take some time and recenter myself today and Im feeling much better.
thank you all for your comments, it really did help clear my head. It get's pretty clutered up there sometimes LOL!!!!!!
Big hugs
april

[young at heart]

I AGREE WITH DR. QUIX,  **** HAPPENS.

I HAD A TRAMATIC BACK SURGERY 1998, DIAGNOSED WITH MS IN 1998,SECOND BACK SURGERY 1999.RECOVERED.

MS RELAPSE IN 2004,ALONG WITH LUMBAR RADICULOPATHY.

2007 4 MS ATTACKS,THIS TIME WITH BILATERIAL OPTICAL NEURITIS,NOW DIAGNOSED WITH AHEASIVE BILATERIAL ARACHNOIDITIS(INCURABLE NERVE DISEASE)

1 MONTH AGO,LOST MY HOUSE TO A HOUSE FIRE

THINGS JUST HAPPEN AND ITS HARD BUT PUSHING FORWARD EACH DAY AND FINDING ONE THING POSITIVE IN OUR DAILY LIVES HELP.HUMOR HELPS.

YES,I WONDER WHO I HONKED OFF TO END UP WITH ALL THIS,BUT I AM BLESSED CAUSE ITS NOT MY SIBLINGS AND ESPECIALLY BLESSED ITS NOT MY CHILDREN,SO THAT MAKES ME SMILE.

APRIL, VENT AND POST,THIS IS A GREAT GROUP THAT HAS AN OVERWHELMING STRENGTH AND SUPPORT.

T-LYNN

[Quixotic1]

Since I, too, follow a different path I felt I should also reassure you.  In Medicine we always said that bad things happen in 3's (anything beyond 3 gets lumps in with the third).  Sometimes bad things happen.  No, we don't draw bad energy in - at least not in the way that it causes such huge disatrophes in our lives.

I went through a separation/divorce, move, new job, disability, and bankruptcy, topped off with MS unrelated to the initial disabilty not too long ago.  I wondered many times what I did to deserve it all.  I finally decided that...

Poop Happens

It's not you.  It's everything else.

(((HUGS)))  Quix

[pennst8r]

We all know where you are coming from. After a 3 year period of abdominal surgeries due to masses ans then complications form the surgeries themselves, I thought "ok, I've had my share." Now I've been fighting this invisible monster for the past 15 or so months. In the process of trying to find the cause of this, the docs have found 4 other conditions I didn't know about!

I truly do feel your pain. I joke that I am changing my name to Job, and that if I am being tested, I am failing miserably. But I AM bearing it, and so are you, even if it doesn't feel like it. Inside I know there's some kind of blessing to come, some kind of insight.

If God truly will not put more on you than you can bear, then we are a phenominally strong bunch here on the forum, 'coz we've been through the fire. But look what's come out of it already - we've all found each other! We would never have met otherwise. We would never have known that such strong, supportive, beautiful souls are out there. If that doesn't lift us up, I don't know what will.

Be strong - you already are.

Praying for you,

Penn

[cjacks]

April

So sorry about the new problems..  If it turns out to be gallstones ask if there is an alternative for you .   About ten yrs ago I ended up in the ER , and yup,  gallstones. It was a week-end so no surgery until Monday , or emergency surg. which wasn't too appealing . I asked what I could do . The doc said to try no fat diet .  

That worked , didn't have another attack , so on Monday I told the doc I wanted to continue on the diet to see if I might be able to avoid surgery altogether . He said fine ..  I did it for two - three yrs.  fat free everything ..   no butter, no mayo, pastries were cut off .. after a couple of months I started adding a little olive oil to cooking .  It worked for me .   No operation here ... keeping my fingers crossed

I don't know anything about ovarian cysts.  Good luck with that .  

Please don't stress , that's the worst thing you can do .  You are a strong woman ...  you can face these obstacles ..   take each one on , one a time .  You have done a great job so far and I have faith in YOU to continue to do so.

      ((  HUGS  ))     Jo

[yrunrml]

Dear April, I read your post and my heart went out to you.  I have had simular issues, that ended in a hysterectomy after many years of struggling with "woman" issue.  I was 29 and had just given birth to my 2nd child.  My higher power blessed me with a boy who is now 18 and a little girl who is 8.  Along with that I have been, struggling with the symptoms of MS, my MRI said   MS suspicious, I had thought at one point that my higher powers, out house sits right above my head.....I was fearful, but soon realized that fear IS a lack of faith.  As for the bad energy, its hard to stay positive all the time, but it does make a difference.....there is a book call power of attention my wayne dyer.  You should check it out....there is blessing's in everything you just have to find out what that is.  Hugs and many prayers to you and yours, Cheryl Ann

[mackemuk]

Hi April,
I Have Just Read Your Post I Hope Everything Turns Out OK For You Today.
Keep Well In Yourself And I Will Be Thinking Of You.
Regards Joe.

[mae1]

thanks for you response mcbon, actually Im not a christian I have chosen a different path, so with that being said I want to thank you for reminding me to relax. I know that everything is ok and it will work it's self out.....
thanks to you also spastic for your response, it's nice to know were not alone in all this.
april

[MCBCON]

Faith is not faith until it is shaken.

I am assuming you are a Christian;  I am myself.  Often we here folks talk about how certain the are that they are saved because there faith is unshakeable.  I do recall Christ crying out  "My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?"   Unless somehow your faith is better than was Christ's you should relax about that.

[spastic]

I know exactly what you are feeling. It's like a big black hole and everything is going in it no matter how hard you try to hold it back. I have been applying for financial assistance at all of the hospitals I have been to.  My insurance is not covering anything saying its pre-existing. Hang in there April.  Hold on to faith and hold on to us.

With Love,

Spazie Ada