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Need Help - Family being abused, now homeless

Hi All,

I didn't know where else to reach out to. The local family shelters are all full and I'm not sure what to do. My family (wife, 2 daughters) and I were staying with our In-laws for the past few months. I found out yesterday from my wife that her sister has been spanking our kids as hard as she can for the littlest things. On top of that, her mother has been calling her and them names for seemingly no good reason.

Just before I found out that my children were being physically abused, they started turning off the A/C on me stating that it costs too much to run despite a note from my Doctor and the fact that we pay $600.00 per month rent for a single bedroom in a very small house. I would simply turn it back on and wait for them to turn it off again...it got very tiresome.

At any rate, the physical abuse was the last straw for me and we took as much stuff as we could carry and left. We went to my Mom's house and she is allowing us to stay here for 2 days...tonight being the last night. I am in a wheelchair and my Wife is extremely depressed and frightened. Thankfully, the kids don't seem to notice much.

There are 2 family shelters in the area that we can stay at, but I will not be able to get to work. It would literally take 6 hours per day to travel and I am almost too fatigued to work as it is. My wife is not working right now, and if she were, she wouldn't make very much money. About 80% of the money she makes would go to daycare.

If anybody has any ideas, I am all ears. Thank you.

Kenny
21 Responses
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667078 tn?1316000935
Do you have a local Chapter of the NMSS you can contact? Our local one has a resource manager to help people in Crisis. Otherwise Social Services. I know there are less resources in hard times.

Alex
Helpful - 0
572651 tn?1530999357
Alex is right about contacting the local MS chapter - they are all setup to assist people in crisis.  

You might also contact local churches or other social agencies about help.  

I'm sorry this has taken such an ugly turn for all of you. I wish I had more to offer you in the way of suggestions.

stay in touch, Lulu

Helpful - 0
572651 tn?1530999357
also, are you getting any benefits from the service?  I know they are n't necessarily held in the highest esteem, but you may want to contact the VA too.
Helpful - 0
147426 tn?1317265632
I, too am sorry and aghast at how your families are treating you.  I think the suggestions of turning to churches, friends, other family members, hospitals, The NMSS, are good ones.

I'm sending all my good thoughts and vibrations your way to make it through this time.

Take care,

Quix
Helpful - 0
751951 tn?1406632863
Prayers offered on your behalf, KD.  Can't top the suggestions already offered.  If you were here I could give you a couple of referrals, but north central Ohio is a long way from you.

As for the family behaving this way toward you and yours...  I'll bite my tongue.  I'm sure you've thought it through a lot more thoroughly than anything I could add here.  I'll just continue to pray for you all.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers......
Helpful - 0
1396846 tn?1332459510
You and your family are in my prayers. Please do contact you local MS chapter and see what help they can offer. Good luck and I hope to hear good news when you update us.

HUGGGGGSSSSS
Paula
Helpful - 0
923105 tn?1341827649
Please take the advice of the above and try and get help from your local MS Society.

You have enough on your plate without worrying about this too.

I'm sorry I don't have any ideas how the US system works, but listen to the others' sound advice, they have come up with good ideas.

Hugs to you and your family,

Debs x

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and vibrations. Also, thank you all for the suggestions. My wife and I have been calling people like crazy all day yesterday and today. Most of them refer us to 211 which is a homeless shelter hotline. Unfortunately they are of no help.

The MS Society was slightly more helpful and referred us to an assisted living facility for families. Unfortunately, they have a waiting list, but hey...we're on the list...that's a start. I should also be hearing from a supervisor at the MS Society today.

I am a Veteran, but the VA is of no help because of my discharge status which I am still working to get changed.

Thank you all and I will keep you updated. Any more suggestions would be much appreciated as we are pretty much banging our heads on a brick wall at this point.
Helpful - 0
147426 tn?1317265632
I might also suggest a letter to Michelle Obama.  She has/had a close relative with MS.  It's a shot in the dark, but, Why not?

Also, a word to the local newspaper might turn up some leads.  

Quix
Helpful - 0
1142155 tn?1261766832
Hi, Ken!  Have you applied for social security disability?  It would seem that with your MS issues alone, social security would come through for you, and it might only take a few weeks.  I know most people here would say it has taken them months or years, but when it depends on how many medical diagnoses for different illnesses that you have and on how advanced your MS is.  From the sound of things, your MS is well-documented.  When I applied for disability, social security came through within 8 or 9 weeks.  I know that right now, 8 or 9 weeks seems like a lifetime, and I am also acutely aware that you need an address when you apply.  However, if you have a bank account for social security to make direct deposits to, they will work with you on the permanent address issue.  Since neither you, nor your wife, are earning any income, you would likely also qualify for social security supplemental income, in addition to your disability.  

Definitely go to your local social services.  I know the paperload is overwhelming to fill out, but you would doubtless qualify for food stamps if you weren't getting them already.  

You may have already done all these things and I'm just way behind on where you've been and what you've done thus far.  Throw out the suggestions that are of no use, of course, and just pursue the ones that are of use.  Best wishes for every stone you turn over.  The more you turn, the sooner you will find the one which hides the golden key.  Let us know how it's coming.  
Helpful - 0
1253197 tn?1331209110
Just to say that like everyone else here I am just sending you good wishes and my heart goes out to you with your family situation. Holding your in my thoughts and prayers and hoping that something good will come of this somehow....it must be very worrying for you all and I hope you find somewhere to live very soon.

With love

Sarah
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Does anyonne know what happened to this family?

I hope they found a place to stay.  

Gooddays
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi all,

Finally got Internet on my wife's phone. Sorry it's been so long.

So, we were declined by the apartment (and others) due to my very poor credit history. We had no choice but to go back and stay with my wife's family.

The situation has improved slightly, but her father refuses to budge with the air conditioning. We turn it on, he turns it off. He's even gone as far as to say he's going to disable it if we continue to turn it on. I don't think he believes that I am even disabled let alone that the air conditioning makes my symptoms worse...and I have a note from my Doctor.

At any rate, we are looking for a place that will take us with our poor credit history, but no luck so far.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
At least you are not homeless.  It is not easy to live with people who no do not or would not understand our condition.

Good luck on your search for an apartment.

Gooddays
Helpful - 0
738075 tn?1330575844
Hi, Ken,

I just popped in after a bit of time off, and I just want to offer my thoughts and prayers.

((((hugs))))
Helpful - 0
147426 tn?1317265632
Ken, I think about you and your family often and offer up my warmest, errr, coolest thoughts.  I hope you can escape the abusive atmosphere and find a place to stay.  I am so glad you pooped back in to tell us how you are.

Quix
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thx all. The situation doesn't really seem that bad now. It's been pretty cool lately so that makes a difference, lol. My kids are no longer being spanked...we nipped that in the bud. My wife and I just try to think about the future and what it may hold and plan for it as best as we can. It's our way of coping.

The kids dont even seem to notice a problem.
Helpful - 0
1396846 tn?1332459510
That is good news. Always makes a difference when it is cooler, especially people with MS, tends to make us all feel better. Glad to hear the kids aren't being spanked anymore.

Finding a way to cope with situations is the best answer. I am truly glad to hear that everything is looking up and hope you find a permanant home soon.

Kids can get through everything as long as they are loved and know it. :)

Keep on living,
Paula
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My heart breaks to hear this situation.  My prayers for you and your family.
Helpful - 0
900662 tn?1469390305
All I can add is,   I wish you the best,  some how very soon I hope that your situation improves for you.


John
Helpful - 0
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