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Avatar universal

No erection need help

My husband was diagnosised with Transverse Myelitis almost 3 years ago.
He has bladder and bowel issues along with Optic Neuritis.
He is unable to have an erection on his own. He has taken Viagra but it doesn't help, Levitra does help on occasion-sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

Is there any type of surgery that can be done for this type of problem?

We are just hoping for some "normalcy" in our relationship again.    

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Avatar universal
Hi Johnny,
I did get a response from another site where I posted the same question. There is a guy in Boston who has TM and his urologist gave him some type of an injection and he hasn't had any problems since. He is going to get me the information so we can take it to my husband's urologist, I don't know if he will be a good candidate but we are going to find out-the internet is amazing.

Thank you for you kind words, I know my husband would be supportive if I was the one ill, just like I'm sure you would do the same for your wife.

My husband is 35 and yes, sex is very important to him- it is to me as well but I don't put so much focus on it like he does. I'm sure it doesn't help that he has time on his hands to dwell on it. I work full-time (45 minutes from our home), work a second job on the weekends doing computer work at home and have 2 teenagers to take care of as well as my husband- I have no time to dwell.
I'm going to talk to him about seeing someone professionally, I think it would help him to talk to someone about this, I appreciate your recommendation.

We have an amazing relationship and we will get through this...there is no other option but to keep moving forward, together.

I'm glad you have a supportive wife as well, everyone needs that just to get through each and every day regardless if an illness is involved.

Thanks again!
Shelbe  
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Avatar universal
Thank you Roxanne!
You'll never know how much those kind words mean to me.

Sincerely,
Shelbe
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Avatar universal
  I agree, it's very nice to have support. I wasn't sure who was having the harder time with this problem, him or you so I intentionally didn't go there. Doesn't surprise me that it bothers him more. Men are strong, we are the bread winners, we take care of the family, most of us know that mindset... all lies. My wife is so strong it amazes me sometimes. Women do not get the credit they deserve. Women do not get the credit they deserve. No that wasn't a cut and paste error, I really believe that.

Well this didn't solve any problems for you, as Quix noted there are several medical procedures to give him back what he's missing but I think they are pretty sticky about who they do it to and it might take years to get it done. The last thing they want to do is perform an unneeded procedure on someone that may be just having.. I want to say flare up but in this case maybe a "flare down" is more correct.

How old is your husband? Sex seems to be more important for men than for women. I'll probably get beat up for saying that, but I think women could make due far better than men if something like a disease took that part of their life away.

He'll get through this just fine. Talking to a professional might make him feel better and accept that even though the little man doesn't snap to attention like it did when he was 16, there are plenty of ways to stay close and still enjoy being a couple.

Life is full of uncertainty. Sometimes I think God has a sense of humor. Just when you think life is pretty good he throws you a curve ball like this. You both need to hang tough, continue to be supportive of each other and your going to be fine.

Johnny
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266400 tn?1193634481
Hi Shelbe.. I just want to commend YOU on your support for your hubby....believe me, it doesnt always happen that the person with the illness gets that kindof support from their spouse.. so he is VERY lucky to have you....    

Roxanne
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Avatar universal
Thanks for your comment.
My husband puts the pressure on himself, it doesn't come from me.
We do MANY and I do mean many, things in place of actual intercourse and that is fine with me but not with him. He is having the "I'm not a man" thing going on and I understand that. I'm doing all I can to be understanding and supportive of his feelings.

The main reason I looked up a site to post this type of question on is because he is unhappy. He has went through so much with this disease that it kills me to see him continue to get more and more depressed over this. I was hoping maybe someone else had success with a procedure or medicine or something that might help him.

Thanks.

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Avatar universal
Thank you for comment. I will look into spinal injury sites.
Shelbe
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Avatar universal
Hey shelbe04,

  I'm not very knowledgeable about his medical conditions and how it translates to erectile dysfunction. But there is a significant percentage of the population that experiences issues of this type at some point in their lives. There are so many things that have to fall into place for our bodies to react when stimulated that it amazes me we don't have a greater number of people affected.

I'm no expert on Viagra and Levitra, but I would assume just as Ambien, AmbienCR, and all the other sleep medicines I have taken work "sometimes" and "sometimes they don't" that there would be no reason to think the same doesn't hold true for Viagra.

As a woman, I would expect there have been times when you haven't exactly been interested in sex but have done so because it helps maintain the peace around the house. When a man experiences erectile dysfunction its a little different. He can't just command his little soldier to attention and say have your way with me. And it will start to play with his head. You don't want to follow up a poor performance today with another one tomorrow or next week.

I would expect in time things would return to normal, if not there are tons of other activities that can be just as enjoyable and shared between two people. Think of it as an opportunity to broaden your horizons and try a few new things.

I don't want to sound sexist, but I think most men would react positively to the introduction of different activities intended to broaden their repertoire and allow everyone to enjoy the experience without the pressure to perform.

Johnny
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147426 tn?1317265632
Hi, I done think any of us have this kind of specialized knowledge.  I think your best bet would be to look at the "spinal injury" sites.  That is where the great strides have been made in this subject, like with the penile implants, and electrical stim devices.

You certainly are welcome to stay for the other support.  NMO or Devic's disease is often considered a variant of MS.  I'm been meaning to do a write up on it.

Quix, MD
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your comment. We are hoping there is some type of medical procedure out there that can help us.
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Avatar universal
Welcome,

I had transverse myelitis in 1998,in time your hubby's normalcy may come back.

As a female,it took time .

T
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