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1207048 tn?1282174304

Personal question. But, I have to ask. Sorry.

Soooooo, I'll try to address this question like a mature adult LOL

I'm wondering if a change in libido is a "forever" symptom or a "it'll get better" symptom?

Hubby and I have been together 17 years next month, married 15 & 1/2. We've always pretty much been a twice a week couple. He'd be happy with more but twice was good for me. My youngest was born 10 months ago. It was a fast and easy birth (all of mine have been unmedicated, fast, easy births) but I did have a bit of uterine prolapse. I joke around and say Jamie wanted to make sure she was the last baby LOL. So, at first I blamed my loss of libido on that. But that was back to normal within about 3 months.

My libido is just gone. Dead. I have no urges. I would be happy with lovemaking once every month or two. I make the effort at least once a week because I need that feeling of closeness, that connection. But it does not feel like it used to. It feels nice...but I don't get the "whole sha-bang" if you get what I'm saying. *blush*

My husband is the best of guys. He really is wonderful. I just feel bad that I don't have the urge like I used to :-(

Is this just a phase? Is it even an MS issue? I've been too embarrassed to say anything to my doctor.
Thanks! Sorry about such a personal question :-(

~Jess
9 Responses
147426 tn?1317265632
Don't ever worry about a topic.  We had a whole thread on this a few months ago.  The problem is surprisingly common.  The thread was started by a woman who missed her orgasms.

If you have RRMS, then any problem can return at any time.  You are not doomed.  But, loss of sensation in the nether regions is so common, it is something we need to revisit frequently.  It affects both men and women equally and can be devastating to our quality of life.  I hope someone finds that older thread and bumps it up for us.

People had great recommendations and I strongly urge you to mention it to your neurologist.  

One thing is to explore the other areas of your body that are sexually sensitive like the mouth, nape of the neack, the earlobes, the breasts, ankles - wherever.  Include those in the foreplay.  Try hard to relax and not wish desperately that "this time" will be different.  Anxiety and trying to hard will work against you.  Develop other intimate and relaxing routines like massage.  Watch a sexy movie together.  Explore the use of vibrators together.

Definitely discuss all this new stuff with your hubby.  Including this wonderful guy in the solution will make it all easier.

Even full paraplegics can develop full sexual enjoyment through other pathways, but it takes practice and cooperation.

We have a Health Page on MS and Intimacy.  The sites for MS and for spinal cord injury have sections that deal with this.  It comes up sooo often.

I share the complete lack of libido.  I know what you are talking about.

I hope someone can find that recent thread.  I'm glad you brought this up again.

Quix
338416 tn?1420045702
I went through a couple of years with nothing, and then it came back - yay!  So I guess it's relapsing and remitting, go figure.
147426 tn?1317265632
Take a look at this issue of the International Journal of MS!  the issue is entitled "Addressing Problems with Sexual Functioning and Intimacy in MS"

http://www.mscare.org/cmsc/Past-Issues-Fall-2009-3.html

Man, is this on target or what?

Quix
560501 tn?1383612740
  I am in total agreement w/ what Quix had mentioned. And that is NOT Trying to
hard or worrying about "IT' happening.  I was actually going to post something about this tonight (funny how that happens).

  I think, at least for me, what had complicated things was that I was so concentrated on
making it happen and worried if it did not, that it just kinda put the mood on a shelf.
I do have to say though, even if I do not feel like I will be able to "Relieve" myself, I make sure that hubby always gets his and then in doing that, it just kinda pulls things together for me!  I hope that was not to much info.

   Like Quix also said, Vibrators are great as well as certain lotions and potions. Thanks for posting this topic because I think that all of us have either went through this or will go through something similiar to this at one time or another  :(    
My personal thought too is that when we are down, not feeling up to par, exhausted, in pain, and so on.....we just don't have that though of sext as a priority.  I think that it is important ...even though I am *** dragging, even if I have to sit in the bed to do it, I put some make up on and try and look good for my hubby when he gets home. But more importantly...I try to look good for myself!   If I feel pretty on the outside, I feel pretty on the inside too.  That gives aid in the love making department!

  Take Care,
~Tonya
738075 tn?1330575844
I went 7 months without the big "O", and was feeling rather sorry for myself.  Then, magically, one morning last month, it happened!  I was so happy I wept for joy!  DH and I have learned to be grateful for the rare times it happens, and have fun anyway when it doesn't.

WhaaaHoooo!!
Guitar_grrrl
Avatar universal
I think we can put too much pressure on ourselves that can ruin our mood, getting weird sensory things or numbness, burning etc. down there doesn't help but I think if we stress about it all too much it makes it worse, just let it happen and it will.

I was like guitar girl and had mths without the big O and then I stressed about it but it's back and my brother who has no feeling at all due to being a quadriplegic ( he uses needles to achieve an erection still has the big O, how he said it's all in your mind and your mental state.., he has no feeling in that part at all (zip, nothing) but he said it's as much arousal of the brain as what it is everything else.

Goodluck
198419 tn?1360242356
462771 tn?1358355843
I've got similar issues and I hope that it's not permanent. It's scary, to say the least, to think that this aspect of our lives can be so highly impacted. It doesn't mean that you can't be intimate, though. Don't let it weigh so heavily that it prevents you from expressing yourself with your partner, either. I hope that everything works out for you as much as I do for me, but keep your head up in the mean time.

Jason
666513 tn?1256917455
Well... I've not been diagnosed with anything, but it is interesting that with this last series of episodes I lost my ability to orgasm. Things are starting to finally resolve themselves, and I've regained my ability.


Mar
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