Quix, a question for you

[SadPoet]

Hi Quix,

I don't know if you remember me, but I'm new here and posted several days back in your journal re CCSVI.

My absence was due to ON troubles, and now I can't seem to find my way back to your journal, so a point in the right direction would be much appreciated.

For the life of me, I just can't seem to find my way around here which makes me question my judgment .

Thank you!

~HappyPoet

[SadPoet]

Quix and Everyone,

How can I reply with all these tears that keep flowing?  You are the sweetest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.  I'm too overcome with emotion and am not capable of thinking straight at the moment, and I dearly want to reply properly to each of you who spent time and effort writing such encouraging, caring comments . . .

So I will come back to this posting when my tears are better under control.  I swear, my heart actually swells with something akin to actual happiness each time I think of you all which tells me this is where I belong... where people truly care about one another, where people won't let other people wallow in their own sadness, and where people make newcomers feel like a member of their family.

A dozen tissues, and tears still keep falling -- and each tear that falls is a tear of friendship.  I had forgotten that happy tears are the best kind of tears of all.  I'll never know how I became lucky enough to land here, in a place that won't let strangers leave, in a place that I can call "home," but I will always thank the fates that brought me here, always.

It's been so long since MS took away my ability to rhyme, but this is one battle against MS that I intend to win, thanks to each of you.  My very first poem in a very long time will be for all my new family members, I promise.

Thank you all for caring about me .  I plan on coming back again and again with the intention of returning the love that I feel inside.

Again, you are all the best, the very, very best!

~Pamela

P.S. Quix, I just found my inbox, so sorry for the delay in finding my way around.

[Adnvwsti]

I add my vote to the votes of everyone else here!  I'd love to read some of your poetry, happy or sad.  And I've found myself sad now for quite a few months, unbearable to live with, I think, a burden to everyone.  It does go along with the depression that just is MS.  So stay with us.  I've lost more than one friend and relative to suicide, so I openly confess, I have flirted with the notion often in the past several months as the pain has ebbed and flowed and the sadness comes and goes.  But I am already finding this forum to be quite a wonderful support system.  Do, indeed, stick around!  Please!  jo

[Quixotic1]

Wait??  Poppycock!!

As JJ says, if we all waited for our happy selves this forum would be a ghost town!

Remember that MS causes depression as a "Primary" effect.  The disease plays directly with our gray matter and neurochemistry.  Depression is almost to be expected.  One of the things that lowers our overall life expectancy is the high rate of suicide - seven times the national average.  Our depression collectively is one of the greatest reasons for a forum like this.  We have all been there, we know the lows and can understand in a way that few others can.

I did not privatize my whole journal, just the one entry.  No biggie.  The rest is right there to be read by anyone on the internet.  Just go to my journal:

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/list/147426

Also, yoou might want to read the Health Page on MS and Depression:

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Multiple-Sclerosis/Depression-and-MS/show/752?cid=36

So, again, just forget the humiliation thing (that is the depression talking) and play with us.  You might add a chapter to Lovely Beauty and the Big, BAd Neuro

Or place some of your poetry in your journal.  (Click on My MedHelp at the top of the page).

We got work to do here.

Quix

[supermum_ms]

Hey, dont wait until you find your happyness before you come back, that really isn't necessary, gosh if we all did that there would be nothing much happening on the site, it would also be ultra borring!

I once got into a spatt (on a site for gt kids) with the resident 'expert' who was also a psychologist, i wrote something in humour but as it was my first time in posting ever, it went down like a lead balloon. I explained and explained but the psychologist and her evil sidekick did nothing but attack me, it seems personal attacks on myself and my children where ok because they controlled the site. it was ugly and they were dead wrong about who i was and what i was all about. I went to that site for help and support but got nothing but nausty and it put me off joining any type of forum, for years.

So why am i telling you this, well its not to put you off even more (lol) when i found this place it was by accident, i was once bitten twice shy but there is something compelling about the open acceptance and unquestioning support of the people here. They are keepers in my book, would love to meet them one and all but i cant so i take my daily dose over the internet and i'm very glad i do.

Stick around, would love to read a poem sad or happy, its all good to me!

Cheers........JJ

[rendean]

I just wanted to second Kathy on her comment;

"I'm still here, though, because these people really are forgiving and loving and accepting, compassionate, understanding, all the best, as well as being human beings.  Many of us have said something that hurt someone else's feelings, or was misunderstood.  We talk it out and move on, because we are learning what acceptance is all about."

We are close group who embraces everyone who lurks, posts and shares opinions and sometimes makes us laugh. You are welcome here even before you fine the "Happy Poet" again.

Please know that are welcome ANYTIME.

Ren

[Fluffysmom]

Hmm, inner peace would be good; I miss mine, too.

Hey, I once posted something on a thread that started a contentious conversation, OK, an argument, and the entire thread had to be removed permanently.  One long-time member left the forum for good, which still breaks my heart.

I'm still here, though, because these people really are forgiving and loving and accepting, compassionate, understanding, all the best, as well as being human beings.  Many of us have said something that hurt someone else's feelings, or was misunderstood.  We talk it out and move on, because we are learning what acceptance is all about.

I remember learning that radical acceptance is one of the things to practice on the road to inner peace.  


Peace is every step
(thich nhat hahn)

Kathy

[SadPoet]

Dear Quix and Everyone,

I came back not only to apologize again to Quix but also to apologize to all those here who love her and care about her.

And what did I find when I started scrolling down this page?  Not the anger I expected and deserved, but instead, I found an outpouring of what I can only describe as love which brought instant, happy tears that are still falling and clouding my vision (in a wonderful way!)

You've all helped me so incredibly much, so much more than words can ever tell.  

I still find myself, though, having to deal with the humiliation that comes from being the person who caused one of your most beloved members to privatize a journal that had been public for years.

I'm working with my doctor to find a balance of meds that will bring back the person who I once was, a HappyPoet all the time, and when I find her, I will come back to this truly fantastic community.

Quix, rendean, Fluffysmom, supermum_ms and saveone, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reaching out to me at a time when I most needed to be reminded of the importance of kindness, understanding, compassion and forgiveness.  

And Quix, you did absolutely nothing wrong and have absolutely nothing to regret, please believe me, please -- you are the most generous, gracious woman I've ever met.

You are all the best, the very, very best!

All my love to everyone,

A poet searching for her inner peace.

[saveone]

ditto, ditto and ditto.  I couldn't have said it better.  Once a member of this forum family you are always a member!

Also, good family members don't need to regret expressing their opinion.  We all have one...even me!  I just swallow my foot instead of inserting it. :0)

terry

[Quixotic1]

I'm glad you all spoke up, because I had shoved my credentials in SadPoet's face, and I do regret it.  I'll regret it far more if we lose a him/her because of it.

Quix :((

[supermum_ms]

Hi, i dont think we've talked before, forgive my feable brain if we have though lol.

I just wanted to say that i couldn't be anywhere where it's expected that you toe the line like lemmings, thats just not me and i dont think anyone here that i've interacted with expects 'compliance' of others.

I'm constantly learning and open to ideas, info, guidance, i like & welcome ideas. I cant see how anyone could stay true to their belief if there wasn't the occational ripple to get you to revisit them.

Please dont go because you feel 'out on a limb' with your thoughts, or worry that you cant take them back if you regret them or even if your even more convinced in them, its all ok. I really dont think the people here are into judging you or anyone else, its all about reaching out to people, telling your story and listening to others, some are wonderful and others are beyond tragic but i feel even though i'm on the other side of the world, i feel connected, tollerated and often understood.

So please stick around and we'll all help each other!

Cheers........JJ

[Fluffysmom]

Yes, the more the merrier!  The more we share, the more we learn, and the more we can be supportive of one another, and the more we can build on our wonderful and caring community.

Please stay around; this is truly a great place.  I've learned so much here.  I'm trying to be present more often; I've been away alot, dealing with stressful stuff, pain, fatigue, and more stuff.  I always feel better when I'm checking in regularly.  

Kathy

[rendean]

Ditto what Quix said! You are very welcome  to stay and share more with us.  

What makes this forum great is that everyone is free to express their opinion as long it is not inflammatory in nature.

"Stay a while, take your shoes off.."

Ren

[Quixotic1]

Please see your inbox.

Q

[Quixotic1]

Yes! a reply is needed!!!

One, we have a firm rule - called the Mob Family Rules - which involve no one leaving.

Please be a Happy Poet and share more with us.  The forum will back me up on this.

I decree the far, distant future to be "now."

Don't make us come after you!

Quix

[SadPoet]

Quix, thank you for replying so eloquently and honestly.

I take full responsibility for making you feel the way you did, and I sincerely and genuinely apologize -- my intention was never to sound contentious in any way.  I will take this experience as a wake-up call to ask my doctor for a change in my anti-everything meds.  

Perhaps someday in the far distant future I'll come back to visit this wonderful place you've helped create; please, no reply is necessary.

Best wishes.  

[Quixotic1]

Hi, SadPoet, sure I remember.  Your memory is fine.  The source of the problem was mine.  I regretted getting into a contentious discussion and made the journal Friends Read Only.  I will add you as a friend.  Contrary to how it seems, I am not a fan of any big debate.  My joy is doing what I always do here on the forum.  When things get even a little heated, I find my depression blooms linearly.

Actually you posted on Shoshin's journal, I think.  Then, instead of derailing her journal, I reposted my response in my journal - so it got quite convoluted, sorry.

I will request you as a friend, then if you accept you can see my CCSVI journal entry.

If there are any other oddities to the forum that you have, please feel free to ask.  We've gotten used to them.  Shoshin also has a current thread going with a great discussion.

I'm sorry about the ON.  While I currently have some pain, I have never had the visual difficulties.  Despite that, tho, I do have optic nerve atrophy.  Hope the vision is settling down.

Quix