Slightly OT: gabapentin and Mama guilt :-(

[lovemy6monkeys]

I take gabapentin once a day, at night before bed. My doctor said I can take up to 500mg, I usually take 400 and sometimes only 300 mg. I was very resistant to taking medicine that will make me drowsy, so I compromised and only take enough to calm the twitches/ uncomfortable feelings enough for me to sleep. I thought I was taking little enough where I can still hear the kids if they wake up at night, and I do wake up if they need me.

Except last night :-(

My 3 year old has a cold and had a dry "tickle in your throat" type of a cough all day yesterday. I fell asleep at about 11:30 last night. At midnight I woke up because my husband (who had been downstairs) brought Lincoln (3 year old) into our room. Our 5 year old daughter (the 3 & 5 year old share a room) had gone downstairs and told hubby that "Lincoln is freaking out". He was coughing so bad that he couldn't catch his breath. My husband said he thought he was having an asthma attack or had pneumonia or something.

And I slept through Lincoln "freaking out" :-( If my daughter hadn't gone to get Daddy for help, neither of us would have heard him.

I'm having a hard enough time accepting that medicine will be a part of my life from now on, but I feel such guilt that I was not awake or aware when my little boy needed me. I'm tempted to stop taking the gabapentin unless I have a particularly tough day. Or maybe try to drop down to 200mg and see if that helps me be more aware if the kids need me?

Thanks for "listening" to me babble.
~Jess

[tonyad]

  Hey there :)  There is not much to add here because all the advise givin was perfect!
I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you and can relate to your concerns.

   Remember..I am a Mommty to (5) children and Homeschooled each of them. We try so hard to be the best that we can and then some. Of course in that process, we have to care for ourselves just a little....So that we can be on top of the game for not only the children, the hubby and the house  :)

Get Rest my Friend and Be Well,
Hugs to you
~Tonya

[PastorDan]

Share that ice cream, though, or we'll hit you with a whole different kind of guilt!

[rendean]

I agree with ALL the advice you've been given. All of it is good advice. PD laid out the plan nicely. Get the baby monitor. Lose the "mommy guilt" over a bowl of ice cream.

You are a great mom! You need your sleep and you need to take of you so you can take care of your "little monkeys".

Big Hugs,
Ren

[lovemy6monkeys]

Thank you everyone for helping me feel better!

I like the idea of putting a monitor in the room. We have one in the baby's room, but did not think of keeping it in with the 3 & 5 year old.

I'm going to try dropping down to 200mg. If that works I will stay there, if not I guess I will go back up in dose. You are all right, I need to sleep. Last time I tried to not take the gaba, I tossed and turned all night.

You guys are all wonderful! You did my sad heart good :-)
~Jess

[addicted2harleys]

ditto to Mary.  And to everyone here.  

hugs to you, Jess, and I am so sorry you experienced this.

Addi

[twopack]

Now aren't you glad you babbled?  That wasn't babbling anyway and it certainly wasn't OT.  You've shared a legetimate concern and that is exactly what this forum all about.  This is as personal a matter, and be as difficult to admit to, as some of the other body function problems we discuss.

I don't have to write out the response I planned because it's already been said + more good stuff I hadn't thought of.  That's the beauty of the collective mind.  No one person has to know or give all the answers.  You got some excellent advise here Jess.  Use it to smooth out your fears and medication regeime so you can rest well and parent with perfection.

Mary

[tjj3761]

Hi,

I totally agree with everyone.  Don't stop your Neurontin.  At a consistent dose, I feel that it works wonders.  

terri

[Sparkysarah]

I would agree with everyone's helpful comments.

Baby Monitor definitely required.

Talk to your husband and ask him if he can take responsibilty for listening out

I am sure that you would nto have been prescribed your meds unless you needed them and I agree with Ess that it may be better to split the dose throughout the day and give your body a regular dose. You may still find that you sleep Ok..but are not quite so knocked out. Talk to your doctor and explain what happened.

Do not feel guilty..it is not your fault that you havce MS, you need your rest and sleep and you are a great Mum. No-one asks us to be perfect so just aim for "good enough."

Love Sarah

[missy72450]

Don't let this make you feel guilty. This is why God gave your kids two parents, so if one does not hear the other does. If 200 works for you then try th 200. It is a miserable night when you can not get any sleep and it makes for a miserable day to take care of your children when you do not get rest. Lack of rest can cause exascerbation and then you really can not take care of them. You are obviously a great mom so get rest and enjoy your kids.

[essdipity]

Oops, seems PD and I were posting at the same time. He's giving you good advice, so please listen.

Hugs.

[essdipity]

Remember that you had barely fallen asleep when this happened. I'm sure you were very tired (who wouldn't be!) and that's why you didn't hear your child.

You do need your meds, though. Consider putting baby monitors in the kids' rooms, or at least the little kids' rooms. These will give you and your husband more reassurance. You should be able to find the right dose of med that allows good rest but doesn't keep you worried about not hearing the children.

Also, meds such as gab can be taken throughout the day. Maybe a low dose three times a day would do the trick for you.

Good luck,

ess

[PastorDan]

Talk to the doc.  My first thought is to put a baby monitor in the kids' room, with the speaker near your head.  A second near the husband might be a good idea, if you could arrrange it.

Gabapentin is not an "as needed" drug, if I understand it correctly; one must take a particular dosage of it consistently for a couple of weeks in order to see how that dosage affects them.  Increasing or decreasing the dosage from day to day is probably just serving to keep your body from adapting to the drug, IMHO.

From what I've read -- mostly on this forum -- each person needs to step VERY GRADUALLY up from a minimal dosage to one that works FOR THEM.  In my case, I was told to step up from 300 to 600 to 900 mg/day, but it took me several times longer than prescribed at each step before I felt comfortable increasing the dosage to the next level.

At each step, the side effects were strong, but went away after about five to ten days.  However, the pain relief was really minimal until I reached that 900 mg/day level.  At that point, it was as if someone flipped a switch from "Pain" to "No Pain."  About a month to 6 weeks later, some traces of the old pain returned, so my dosage was bumped to 1200 mg/day (300x4 at first, then 400x3 for some reason.  It's easier to remember, at least).  I've been at that level for something like a year now, & it seems to be fine.

Again, talk this over with your doctor.  Feel free to babble here anytime. ;>)

[halah29]

I like gabapentin...I think I'm supposed to take 600 a day..I've been taking 1200..I need to cut back down to 600..it will def knock you out!  I love it.