Supporting my support

[diemyn]

My boyfriend takes care of me. He has never lived on his own. His frineds and family think I am just making him miserable and he should get rid of me, so he has no one to go to for support outside of me. I feel sooo bad that I am the reason his life is not good and I feel guilty for asking for things or askign him to do things when he works and cooks and cleans. How am I sposed to make him feel better and happier about life when all that's ruining his life is my being in it and me being so sick? I know hat it's like to live like I do, but I really don't know what it's like to be him having to watch it all adn be helpless to improve anything. I feel so helpless all the time and I just wan to die, but anytime I express how sad and hopless I feel it makes him feel even worse.

[diemyn]

Thank you Lulu. I have nudged him in that direction, but will let him find his own way of course. My beliefs don't mesh well with therapy, but I have tried. I'd be better off finding a shaman, but we've got no money to do anything with til SSD comes thru for me. No one need worry about me.

<3 2 U

[Lulu54]

Diemyn,
I think the national multiple sclerosis website has a forum for caregivers - you might check there and see if I'm thinking correctly..

AG gave you some great advice about counseling - I hope you will find a way to follow through on that.

be well,
Lulu

[diemyn]

ArmyGirl73,

Thank you. We've just hit a low lately; it's been weeks of new problems and worse old ones. Our relationship isn't really suffering. Both of us are really positive and accepting most of the time. But we live for each other and our cats and that's really the end of the list there. Breaking up wouldn't be an option even if I weren't dependent on him. I've got no support from my family either and just one remaining friend, which is exactly his situation too. I think it'd be good for him to know that he's not alone in this. It helps me so much to be a member here; I don't know what I would do without this forum. Maybe he can find an online community to share his experiences. Then they won't seem like nightmares. Thanks for all your encouragement and loving energy.

May you be blessed

<3 Diemyn

[Armygirl73]

Hello,

I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering so much. Have you thought about seeing a counselor? It might be helpful for you to talk to someone experienced in dealing with depression, anxiety and all the things that go with it. Likewise, your boyfriend and you might discuss some couples counseling.

You are right about not being able to understand what it's like for your significant other, but it doesn't mean that you two can't work it out. MS is a miserable burden, but it's up to you to make the best out of every day. I know it's not that easy. This is a roller coaster ride ... some days are good and you will feel pretty normal, and other days it feels like your body is under control of someone else playing games with you.

Please think about getting some counseling. If you can't have it covered by insurance, look for some at your local church or community center or join a support group in your hometown. Just please see someone. Feeling like you want to die is not good. It certainly isn't healthy for you or your relationship.

This life isn't what you chose for yourself, but it's the challenge that you were dealt. You can live up to that challenge. You can do this.

Please let me know how you are doing, and if you need a friend to chat with, I'm only an email away.

You will be in my prayers.

Blessings,
ArmyGirl73