Anxiety is very real

[HVAC]

People have anxiety are like people with heart problems. Different things that cause stress can set it off. Then the anxiety can set off any underlying health problem. People may think they are belittled when someone says they need to deal with their anxiety. It is the same as saying you need to deal with your heart.

My cat recently got cystitis. He was peeing all over the place and hurting. The doctor put him on Gabenpentin and prozac. She described him as an anxious cat. I thought he is not anxious. I thought this is absurd. Then I thought about it and he in anxious and stressed easily. To get a urine sample I had to use special litter. He would not pee for days.The cystitis started all over again. Now he won't use those boxes. He is spooked when I go to pet him.

It got me thinking. I wanted to deny my cat's anxiety like I deny my own. I have resisted medication which helps. I have denied anxiety over and over. Since I got cancer they have gotten me on anti anxiety medications and I am so much happier. I do not like it when it pops up on medical records.

But why? It is not bad having anxiety. It can cause so many health conditions like cancer to be worse. I guess I am used to the bad old days when depression and anxiety were stigmas. They should not be. I need to not be embarrased if I or my cat has anxiety.

Alex

[HVAC]

As a kid and in college I was in an out of mental hospitals. I learned life skills to keep me from getting that sick. Lots of therapy. Now I know when I am heading for the danger zone. I see my doctor immediately if I get too anxious. This doctor told me when she saw my intake form she did not want me as a patient. She thought I would be in all the time and calling her. She learned I manage my illness well. Her nurse was dismissive of me until I got cancer. She even gave me her cell phone number the other day. It took a very kind psychiatrist to help me trust. I had seen so many in the public system. They would see you for 15 minutes and sum you up.

Alex

[Corriel]

Well said! I suffered from depression for years and then the anxiety commenced. The stigma around depression for me culminated about 20 years ago when I was fired from my job because I wasn't as capable at work as I had been.

I was devastated and had no one to talk to, never mind the energy to fight what I felt was a wrongful dismissal.

Fast forward to current day and I am vocal about my history with depression to friends but it is still a taboo topic at work. I finally started seeing a counsellor about 6 years ago and although my insurance only covers 5-6 sessions a year I have learned to cope between times and know when I absolutely need to start sessions again.

I fervently hope that anyone with anxiety or depression learn that it needs to be tended to the same as any physical illness. Fixing the body does not fix the brain or the heart.

Interestingly, I also have an anxious cat who gets frequent cystitis and has been sickly since I adopted her almost 10 years ago. I have to make her hold her pee for 16 hours until her bladder is full enough to be expressed manually since she won't give a sample in the special litter or an empty box.

She doesn't respond to Feliway plug ins and hates pills so my vet cannot treat her anxiety. Like so many humans, she suffers in silence so I spoil her rotten. :-)

Corrie

[immisceo]

In reality, there's still a hardcore stigma. It's improved, undoubtedly, but there's still a long way to go. Look at the mental gymnastics a lot of people do to avoid ascribing anything they experience to anxiety, when treating it may very well make them feel well again! Look at how many people hear the words "anxiety" or "stress" from a doctor and morph it into "He said I was crazy!" (er, no he didn't!)

When I miss work due to mental health issues, you bet your boots I blame it on MS. MS? People understand. It's my "real" disease. It's the one people don't question. It's not the one that I hear people making light of in the lunchroom. It's not the one HR departments quibble with if there's a gap in your CV/resume. It's somehow noble, rotten luck, brave, or any other number of validating adjectives.

Mental health is still seen as something brought on oneself, the result of a weak mind or constitution, or inferior genetics. I'm bombarded with it on these boards more than almost anywhere else. How livid or dismissive people can get if it's so much as hinted at as even a possibility!

And it can get a little offensive when someone is angry enough at the mere mention of dealing with it that they start calling their doctors names. This defensiveness? It's a reflection of just how strong that stigma still is. MS = a real diagnosis. Psych referral = a fob off. More tests in the absence of any evidence? A doctor who's fighting for you! Offering treatment for anxiety? A doctor who's lazy, doesn't take you seriously, and is all but committing malpractice.

We're surrounded by these messages here and in real life. Over time, it reinforces my inclination to shut up and be glad I've more or less got it together. Except I don't always. Maintaining enough mental health to function in society is exhausting. It's not without work. MS? I inject myself once a month and try to live healthily. Otherwise, it's out of my hands. Mental health? I think of it all. the. time. It determines my daily schedule, my activities, whether a lie-in on the weekend was refreshing or a sign of an on-coming depressive episode. It's the one that insured my diagnosis with MS didn't cost me a career. I didn't have one to begin with. MS didn't cost me any educational opportunities. Those were thrown out with the mental health trash.

I've been very honest on these boards about spending a year as an in-patient. In real life? Three people know. Fair enough, it was a long time ago and wouldn't be something that comes up in light conversation. But I always know that whatever positives someone sees in me, they will all be second-guessed once they know. Or else they'll tell themselves I'm some sort of outlier, that other people in that situation aren't "normal".

But I wasn't an outlier. I knew those people on the ward like I knew myself. It wasn't a film. It wasn't an episode of House or One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest or Girl, Interrupted or any other scrubbed for the screen iteration of real life madness and despair. It was real, and I don't live in a society where I can claim it without denying it in the same breath.

[ConfirmedRachel]

Hear, hear! Great post again Alex, I love your honesty.

My kitty was diagnosed as having OCD and anxiety! She has a 'plug in' called Feliway which is like cat Prozac.

Mental health is no trivial matter, it destroys lives and creates compounding problems. Whatever the initial trigger (lots of smaller things, one or more major ones), getting help is crucial. Good for you to have done so.

Many years ago I was in a situation where I broke up with my long term partner, was made redundant and lost my home as a result of these two factors all in a few weeks. I didn't know which way was up.

My Doc was great, listened to me whitter on about all sorts of stuff, tried several different meds with me. He said with some depression the body stops making serotonin and the meds kick start your system to make it again.

Behavioural therapies can also be excellent - I do behavioural change as part of my job now - not usually medical stuff though.

In the UK, mental health has risen in knowledge more and more. Many still do feel uncomfortable talking about it though.
Put it this way, if you broke your leg in a situation out of your control would you sit in pain and let it reset all wrong? Doubt it. Mental health needs "resetting" too to reduce the pain that comes with it and help your most important asset, your brain, to recover.

I hope others reading will take strength from seeing others have experienced their own issues and are either through it or actively working on it.

Heaps of hugs to all who'd like them
Nx