You've been given excellent advice here, I see. I have not been where you stand today with regard to this illness, but I can certainly identify with the idea of having to accept something about myself that I believed I could not accept. My acceptance came, though not always easily, through my faith, as I am sure many others have similarly experienced. I cannot see into your heart and mind, but If you would like to share perspectives, send me a message, and I will respond. Until then, we will pray for your personal peace.
Something tells me this is not your given name
For me when I learned that I had this disease I was shocked, then in denial, then angry, then depressed, then...does this sound familar? Its like we lost someone we love, we are loosing ourselves, but not really! What we are really loosing is our "dream" of ourselves. For me I eventually got a new dream. I also redefined myself, and I also got tired of thinking about it.
You're grieving and you have to go through it, and there's no way around it. If its really hard to function talk to your MD about this and they will prescribe medicine for a few months until your there. Have confidence, you will get there, accepting, and being the new you (with MS) and with new dreams.
You will be alright. Remember its a process.
Take Care
Jon
Hi there -
Well, MsJinxy, I think you are on your way already!
You just told us out loud that you are not able to move on, that you cry about it and you are probably in deed in mourning over your "old self."
It's about acceptance. But, how do we get there? No matter how you get there, you just have to get there, and it's a battle for sure. A battle that takes time.
I'd like to share w/you and others that I was told once by a very nice Dr. who said,
". . you are in a race." And, it's not one that you can sprint to the finish line." He paused, and looked me in the eye, and then he said, "it's just one you have to stay in."
He said this after reading over my MRIs. He had examined me at work months prior when all heck broke loose w/me and I could not function at all.
He sadly passed, but the words will stay with me always.
I hope this helps you too as it did me.
Be well.
Hi Msjinx,
I don't believe we have met before - for my benefit and perhaps for others here, can you tell me a bit about yourself and your MS?
Memory is a funny thing - the more we pressure ourselves to have the memory perform, the more erratic it can become. Perhaps the focusing on your memory is causing such an effect? The more you try to make it work right with the recall the worse it does.
I'm so sorry you are struggling.....
Lulu
Just think of it this way- At least you know what is wrong. Not knowing is alot worse becuase you have no idea what to do, or waht step to take next. With me its a never ending guessing game that just leaves me frustrated, irritated, and confused.