398059 tn?1447945633

image, hollywood, and our chronic self

Took a little time to read through some posts.  Also, I was watching the news media swoon over Britney Spears again.  It is easy to see how shaped our concepts of how we should be is shaped by the culture around us.  I am finding myself almost ready to say I am not capable anymore.  It is a struggle between the keep your chin up lessons we have been given since childhood and the realization that I need help in a way our society does not seem willing to be a participant.

Dealing with the physical failings is not that difficult really.  Yes, it ***** to find one's body not being as allowing as it once did.  But, for me it has always been the intellect and emotional healthiness that seemed unrelenting to the problems challenges the world tossed my way.  Now I see that I was only kidding myself on how others' struggles should be more easily handled.  I always thought I was a compassionate person.  I can now see that this was not as true as I wanted to believe.

I might decide to write more on this subject.  The subject of compassion that I lacked and the compassion our society is greatly lacking.  Might not though.

I am interested in reading some thoughts by you all could post.  It might help gain a better perspective on this subject.
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398059 tn?1447945633
sorry about the disjointed language and typing used in this posting.  hope it does not make the meaning ununderstandable.
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147426 tn?1317265632
I appreciate the line of thought and have some to add but am not currently compus mentis.  I want to keep this in the public eye so we can read it between attempts to emulate ms, Spears.  Sheesh!!  Although I thought she had something there with the shaving of the head....

Compassionate....or is it pity.  And I know what you mean about sometimes feeling harsh toward others.  It means you're human.  Just not everyone brings that knowledge to the consciousness and examines it.


Helpful - 0
428506 tn?1296557399
I also read this with interest but have not responded yet.

One thing I can say for now is on the subject of compassion.  I sometimes struggle with the fact that I know, prior to my own situation, I would not have been compassionate towards people dealing with the vague symptoms with which I now live.  

I'm not sure if that confession is along the lines of replies you are looking for, but it is what came to mind for me.
Helpful - 0
572651 tn?1530999357
We've relinquished so much of our own attachment of self-worth to the images we see around us and the behavior of people who we view as successful.  Its easy to think that public figure is successful because they are ever present in our media, being held up for our idolization.  the ordinary is rarely used as an example to emulate - when is the last time you saw a teacher or mother or other such profession held up for us to see and be told "you should be (fill in the blank) when you grow up and you will be happy."

And images of successful yet physically limited people are nearly impossible to find.  Can you name me another wheelchair bound "celebrity" besides Christopher Reeves or Steven Hawkins that got press time?  Is that because we are uncomfortable with those images?  yes, we talk a good game about compassion but the reality it is makes us uncomfortable to be confronted with the frailty of human life.

I would like to say I've always been compassionate but know that I could have always done more .....

I hope some of this makes sense - I am really exhausted tonight .....

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338416 tn?1420045702
I think our society - in its purest form - advocates being true to yourself.  Finding the thing you do, and doing it well.  Being a 'man' or a 'woman' and taking on those stereotyped roles that society dictates has no appeal for me.  Since what I can do has changed drastically since my diagnosis, I will probably not get to be a mother.  I wouldn't be able to take care of a child - heck, I'm barely able to take care of a dog!  So my goal right now is to find a way to be productive, comfortable, and happy, without taking too much out of myself.
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428506 tn?1296557399
I think your plan sounds very wise and honest, and I admire that there is no hint of caring what others think.  Bravo!
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198419 tn?1360242356
I find it hard enough to live up to my own expectations, my family's, let alone everyone elses who have come accustom to how I "was." I'm sure those in the world's eye must have this pressure too.  Not to excuse criminal, deviant, or uncompassionate behavior but in the broadest sense of expectations not matter what the source - - just saying it's tough sometimes.

I friend of mine told me once when I was fretting over what I "use" to be able to pull off to just "stop." That none of that mattered now. He didn't care what I use to be able to do. It's the here and now we are living in, and we've got to go from here.  Move forward. Well, he didn't say it quite like that and I'm sure if I could remember the exact words, it would be more eloquently and stated and come across as powerful and meaningful as it was and still is to me, but that is the jist of it.

Hope this helps your brainstorming....I hope the feelings and writing comes to you and you are able to nail what you'd like to express on this subject.    

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398059 tn?1447945633
An essay assignment written by my son:

          As I sit here, staring at a computer screen, writing  these words in present tense, even though I thought of them a long time ago, I’m thinking about my hero. You know, my hero. The person I’d like to be like. Who could it be? Martin Van Buren? Willard Scott? No. As I look at the information booklet my teacher gave me, I see past examples of people who wrote about individuals who went through tragedies, and became very inspiring people.  I don’t really know anybody who is paralyzed. So, I am reminded of when the fate of this essay’s topic was sealed. My mom and I were discussing who my hero might be when she said something that instantly and profoundly, though sub-consciously, made up my mind. “You have to choose someone who really inspires you. Someone you look up to. That’s where your best writing will come from. Always.” That definitely eliminated Willard Scott. Inspiring you say? I’m not inspired by athletes who make hundreds of millions of dollars playing a game. It’s funny how someone I’d known all along was the last person I considered. Being obvious made it so hard to realize. But at that moment, my hero was sitting right in front of me. It’s my mom.       What? Yeah! But everyone loves his or her mom  so she doesn’t count right? WRONG. A hero isn’t someone who tells you to stick up for yourself, but when you really need him isn’t there. My personal hero fights for me, and makes me feel worth fighting for. My mom is the only person who could ever inspire me to say “I’m mad  and I’m not going to take it any more!” and so actually do something about it.

          That’s what a hero does. It’s what my hero does. But it’s more than that. She’s a poet who has her own style and her own poems. This is one of her great ways of inspiring
me. One verse I’ll never forget is “Remember you will never be able to write anybody’s songs but your own. May they take you somewhere good, even in the hardest rain.”

          Her strength has helped her overcome kidney disease and cancer. What is amazing is that through all the problems and all the challenges that have pervaded her life, including helping out my dad with Multiple Sclerosis, she has time for me. Her words, her influence means more to me than anything, and has irrevocably shaped my thoughts. So my definition of a hero is somebody who cares, sticks up for you, makes you feel worth fighting for, and inspires. But most of all loves. “But faith, hope and love remain-- these three. But the greatest of these is love.” Jimmy Carter wrote a book as a tribute to his mother: A Remarkable Mother.   The least I could do is write mine an essay: “My Absolute Hero.”      
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572651 tn?1530999357
thank you so much for sharing those wonderful words and insight from your son - here's to the hero in all of us.  May we step up and be the best we can be for ourselves and others.

My best, Lulu
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