I think maybe it just comes with the terratory..for me lack of sleep and headaches constantly doesn't help. There are just so many issues to make us miserable...
Good question! Anybody have a solid answer?
(no offense Meg-I meant scientifically- I , too, have headaches and sleep deprivation as well which is what I base my irritability on as well.)
Probably from dealing with all these DUMB doctors we deal with...
Actually I think just about anyone with a chronic illness tends to get irritable a lot. It comes from various aspects of what is going on in our lives so the root causes may differ from one person to another.
A large part probably comes from the constant stress we are under in trying to understand and deal with the illness. That can wear down a person's nerves real quick. Sleep problems also play a major role in this as well.
Another aspect that can contribute is the lose of self we feel. One day we are on top of the world health wise and the next we can't do any of the things we use to do. I know I get more irritable during flares for this reason. I am angry that I can't do something that just the day before I could do and I tend to lash out at every thing and one.
That is my somber moment for the day..no more allowed.. :)
It is a good question, though i'm of the mind that the cause can be from a multitude of commorbid conditions, some already mentioned but the other culprit could simply be brain malfunction. I can't acount for the odd and really out of charactor PMT type blurts of irritation, when i'm naturally and normally a calm and a 'no big deal' kind of person.
Going balistic in seconds, over nothing and something i would more than likely laugh about is kind of disdressing to not only me but my family. One thing for sure, is as its happening i'm equally as confused as they are, in my head i'm saying what are you saying, whats your problem, stop stop stop but its hard to stop what I can't control or understand.
I can't really give an example that makes sense, it just doesn't add up with any resemblence of logic, its out of charactor and very hard for me to understand. I can be laughing and having a good time, like the last time it happened. DD asked for something that wasn't in its usual place and my brain couldn't help me find the solution. I hit balistic and she luckily knew something odd was happening, I dont believe it had anything to do with what was missing, it was more about my lack of executive function.
I'm still very much a happy go lucky person but i cant really account for these odd episodes at all, i think it would be easier for me to avoid them if they didn't come out of know where, and disapear as suddenly as they come lol. I'm all ears (umm eyes) for getting to understand this one.
i thank each of you for your insights.
meg, i so forget about my symptoms that i'm in a denial state from time to time. like the headaches, and how i have to walk so soft as not to disturb something in my neck or head. so i get really irritable, and have to post a question here because no one else understands, even me. so thank you for pointing that out.
some years back when the "insane" type headaches and vertigo wouldn't let up, i often thought of bullet2brain, but only briefly. then it would be back to the "hang on another day" kinda thing.
and i still have to ask the question from time to time, why we (i) get do irritable from time to time. thanks.
for Dennis and I, dumb doctors at the VA is enough to add extra stress even if it is sub-conscience. they are in the biz of stonewalling, and yes, it is one of the most stressful aspects of my situation. i really hope to put it behind me with medicaid so i can move forward a bit.
that sine-wave like existence as Dennis pointed out is just so utterly frustrating that i just don't plan much of anything. i just wait and see. not many people are on that kind of schedule! LOL
>>it just doesn't add up with any resemblence of logic, its out of charactor and very hard for me to understand.
exactly my point JJ, no rhyme or reason at all.
>>I meant scientifically-
and a scientific explanation would be welcome too if anyone has one
glad i asked, really needed the feedback, thx
Just from observation and pondering the question for myself......
I think some of it is physiologic. Maybe because of where a lesion is located. I know I can jump a mile and land with my fists ready if a unexpected noise or bright light startles me. It seems like a variant of hyperreflexia. Then there is always the above mentioned sleep and pain problems. Like financial difficulties, they make everything less tolerable.
Other times I'm sure it is my frustration with the growing loss of self-control and self-determination. I don't feel like I'm in charge of my own life many days and that's not a happy place to be. It can leave me envious of other people's abilities and freedom (even though I depend on them to fill in my blanks). On really bad days it can leave me with an attidute that screams, "I've earned the right to be a little ______ (lazy, *itchy, crazy, etc) once in a while."
Sometimes it's simple survival mode. I've done so much for others for so long that I've contributed to a long term dependence on me in specific areas of daily living. (The worst one with this is the only one left in the house. Of Course!!) Sometimes I want to scream that it's time for them to GROW UP 'cause I've got to take care of me now.
They offered to help but don't want to help in the way I suggest would be helpful. So they do something else that isn't usually even very helpful. Sometimes my thank you is offered through clenched teeth. I know the only thing worse than having them irritate me would be not having them.
Then again, I'm conflicted. I still WANT to do it all myself :( I'm yucking mad at this disease . . . . so I get irritable!!!
Sorry this turned into a teary (on my part) venting mess. I'm think I'm still adjusting to the finality of the changes that diagnosis and age are bringing my way. Now it's only 0930 and I'm feeling spent for the day. Denial still seems to offer more energy reserves.
(Maybe just thinking about Lulu's King/Taylor concert brought out the comtemplation and rebellion in me.)