Oh, she needs to get a complete workup by a neurologist, you and another family member have got to set this up and take her there. If she won't go, call an ambulance to take her. The neurologist will determine if she has beginning stages of Alzhiemers or dementia or whatever, OR NOT, and then you'll know what the situation is. He may even prescribe tranquilizers, and/or Aricept (helps thinking), and he should CHANGE the Effexor to something else, I do believe. Her medicines are NOT adequate. Also, could be he'll discover when he does his office exam of her, that she has a physical component to her mental problems that he'll uncover, and that will be a good thing, too, if she REALLY doesn't feel too good.
The thing about relatives who go downhill is, it's frustrating to family members because they cannot seem to do a thing about the situation no matter how hard they try, and ALSO it's hard to listen to somebody complain all day, sort of stirs up a sense of guilt becuz the ones she loves begin to resent her. She eventually needs to be talking to a psychologist fairly regularly for a little while, so they can perhaps help her to turn her thoughts to a more positive light, so she'll be easier to be around. So, do not dispair! Help is on the way, just a phone call away, altho you may have to wait a couple months to see a neuro.
I might add that if she is already seeing a neurologist or has seen one, she needs to go to a DIFFERENT neurologist, preferably with a group of docs, or if you are in a small town, travel to a larger one if you have to.
im no doctor i dont pretend 2 be but this sounds far fetched and im sure its wrong but this strikes a chord with me. ive been through something similar and you will not believe this but my family member who was like that was 15 and he had attention deficit disorder and was given something called rittilin just a shot in the dark dont even know if the elderly can suffer from this
She could be feeling alone and unloved ....from the extreme description you give of her...
I believe she has had a psych issue for all these years and it has become worse; sounds like bipolar disorder mixed with a personality disorder.
If she is able to take care of herself then your intervention is limited. If she becomes unsafe and/or unable to care for yourself, then you can step in.
You are in a difficult position.
Thanks so much for your comment. I don't think her psychiatric problems were ever properly diagnosed or addressed. As a result, she doesn't think she has a thing wrong with her psychiatric health except for a bit of depression. But she has multiple, ever changing physical complaints, when in fact she is very healthy for her age.
It is a difficult position. And I do appreciate your response.