83 year old Grandmother suffered a severe stroke

[corina14]

I am new to this site i am desperate for some feedback . My grandmother (83 years old) suffered a ischemic stroke due to arterial fibrillation going undiagnosed and a clot traveled to brain and caused a blockage to the middle cerebral artery . MRI shows more then half of the left side of her brain is dead and now 3 days later they are saying she is in critical condition due to possible swelling of brain and causing damage to the rest of the good tissue in brain that could kill her . she is breathing on her own. she is awake and alert but when asked to squeeze our hand with her left side (good side) she does not respond, she does not make any voluntary movments at all with either side . or blink when asked or try and make eye contact when asked. Dr is saying she will need to live in a nursing home for the rest of her life , she will never be able to speak or comprehend she will be tube fed and bed ridden . has anyone gone through simular expierence and given same outcome in elderly loved ones ? did your loved ones regain some ability to communicate ? use the good side of there body ? or did they liive the rest of there life like the gruesome picture doctors explained? my famly is trying to decide to put her in a nursing home if she can improve with therapy if there aint much hope for improvement they will take her home and put her on hospice . as my grandmother her wishes were to never be tube fed or living in a nursing home bed ridden . please any experience, information or feed back will help. thanks you and god bless you all..

[jemma116]

Your grandmother has had a severe stroke, this is very sad.

As your grandmother is in a critical condition, be prepared for the worst.  Do not give up on her, but at the same time accept that she may not recover and come round from the stroke.

She may have suffered mini strokes before this major one that may have gone unnoticed.
My granny kept having little mini strokes for white some time and after the last major one, she only lived for 6 weeks.  She was 85 when she died and she too had the same problems with arterial fibrillation and an erratic heart beat.  

A neighbour who was in his 80s had a severe stroke, didn't ever recover, but lived another 3 years being cared for in a home before he died.  

As hard and sad as it is, do accept that your granny is very ill and if she does manage to pull through, she will not be the same as before.  Do respect her wishes not to be tube fed.  

Be aware too, that should you wish to look after your granny at home, this is very hard and can be detrimental to the health of the person or people who look after her.  You may find too, that should you decide to have granny at home rather than go into a care home from hospital, it will be much harder for you to find a care home later.  No one can predict (not even the doctors) how long granny will survive.

Visit your granny and talk to her and hold her hand, but as hard as it is, do be prepared for the worst.

None of us will live forever and when the time comes we all have to depart this earth.  It is far better that she falls "asleep" rather than be cared for in the condition that she is in at the moment.

If you do have a faith which I think you do, contact your priest/vicar/preacher so that granny can be visited by them and pray to God for her not to suffer too much and pray for strength to get you through this sad time too.

God Bless.

[corina14]

Thank you so much for your feedback . We are not ready to give up on her . We want to do whatever we can to help her . I love those ideas you gave . I think we are all so scared especially after doctor telling us he will never comprehend or talk . We will do whatever in our ability to help her and give her the opportunity to succeed the best she can . Thanks so much for your feedback .

[caregiver222]

Generally, a proper prediction cannot be made until ninety days after the event. Keep talking to her and DON'T assume she cannot understand what you are saying because she cannot respond. Get her earphones and a means for her to listen to music. When visiting always maintain body contact (skin-to-skin) by holding her hand, wrist or shoulder. Respect her wishes as to life support, but do not give up hope so early. The chancre-mechanics want to get her out of the hospital as soon as possible to save money. That's the name of that tune. They smile and you get "monologue #123". Stay with her as much as possible during the next few days, always holding her hand or wrist. Try a dry-erase board writing with two inch high block letters and ask het to squeeze with her fingers, trying the left and then the right side, then asking her to eyeblink for "yes" or "no". You have my sympathies.