Hi! I'm new to this forum and to this site. I was diagnosed with complex partial seizures about 20 years ago, while in the Air Force. I had tried all meds but failed to see any improvement in my condition. I was getting an MRI and EEG done every year post-surgery (in 1998) for a few years but tired of the treatment and visits because I was doing so well post-surgery. Because I was told that the location of one of the hemangiomas was near my memory cortex, we did memory tests (which I honestly do not feel are a very accurate test of one's memory funtion/capability, come on..... memorizing 5 words and repeating them every minute or so can't be a standard of measurement across the board!). I tried taking a few college courses some years after my surgery and after I discharged from the military, but find that I'm not doing so well. I had decided to go for evaluations and was found positive for ADD-PI (attention deficit disorder- primarily inattentive, the daydreamer). So we tried Ritalin and Dextroamphetamine but find that I still have problems. It's not a daily problem that affects things I've known to do on a daily basis and some other daily functions that don't follow a specific plan. More detailed, I can remember to get dressed in the morning all the way up to changing a plan and doing something I don't ordinarily do daily such as finding my way to a new restaurant I'd heard about- a new learned and different function. Nothing seems to help my memory with new information from college classes. In this endeavor to take college courses and finish my degree, with my grades coming back with exam grades in the 60's and 70's, I've been experiencing now a lot of depression and anxiety. Depression about being a single mother (I was married 16 years to their father for any who like to come to conclusions and judge), depression about retirement and how I'll be able to afford to live, depression about not passing my exams well, depression about my mental functions, depressed about feeling like a failure, depressed about the example I'm setting for my children because I work and study and don't get to spend a lot of time with them and how am I supposed to explain to my children that I couldn't succeed. Anxiety about my age (39 1/2), anxiety about if I don't finish my degree and provide for my children and retirement what person is going to continue to hire a woman in her 50's, 60's, 70's besides WalMart, financial anxiety and depression. This issue with my memory makes me question the surgery and side effects, and I am hoping to find anything out there that will be a light at the end of my tunnel so that I can succeed and be proud of myself and be happy and provide for my children and myself. The stress is eating away at me.
This discussion is related to Cavernous Hemangioma in Brain