Depends on whether you two were hit in the head or not. Sounds like your mother has problems that come from the brain being hurt from a blow, perhaps. And sounds like you have problems that come from fear, maybe. I have panic disorder, it comes from a car accident, and this throws me into a huge anxiety attack that is unbearable in many situations resembling being in that car. I went to a group of psychologists and psychiatrists in the area, I was in therapy for many months and still take tranquilizers to avoid panic, and talking to those counselors was so great, really helped me cope with my feelings.
I was also taught some simple things to do when I find myself in an anxious situation, so I'll pass one along to you that helps a lot with anxiety. When you feel the fear coming over you, start taking some very deep breaths, breathe in real deep and blow it out, breathe normal a couple times, then repeat, do this ten times and you won't get to ten, because your heart will slow from the deep breathing, and thus this will lower your anxiety level. When a person gets anxious, their heart starts beating rapidly, you see.
I have a friend who is like your mother, they lost some hearing and balance because of being hit on the side of the head where the ear is, which sounds like your mother. But I myself relate to your description of your general fear-based anxiety. I know if you can identify what caused the fear to begin with, which you already have, then you can remind yourself that any current situation that makes you nervous is calling up those old feelings, and by making the connection, it is easier to control that initial rush of anxiety.
You have an infant you're taking care of, you are worrying about this and that even more than usual on account of the big responsibility you have. Probably if you will get brave and leave your child with a trusted babycare center or girlfriend for a few hours total each week, and just go out and do something you like to do for a change of pace, this might have a freeing effect on the increased alertness that naturally comes from caring for a child. And the depression is partly caused by frustration, over anxiety and being home with a baby and other things, so "getting out" and going off somewhere, even a walk around the block, will release all that tension that gets built up in your body.