hand flapping

[pink0529]

I have a son that is almost 4 yrs old.  He is very social, articulate, and loves preschool.  He interacts with his friends and adults normally and has a sweet disposition.  Since he was one year old I have been concerned with his "hand flapping."  Although, I call it hand flapping it is more like a palsy movement and stiffening of hands and arms.  He does this when he is excited or tired.  It appears he holds it in during school, but on the drive home I will see him flapping as if he has built up all this excitement and needs to get it out.  When my husband takes him fishing it is out of control or we go to an aquarium and see the fish in the tanks he starts flapping.  Sometimes while watching a movie he will start flapping when an excited part happens....cars racing quickly etc.  My pediatrician keeps telling me he will outgrow it.  By age 3 he was still doing it so we decided to take him to a pediatric neurologist and was told it is something he will outgrow by around age 5 and to allow him to do it at home, but try to keep it under control in public and school.   He seems to be getting worse, will do this on a daily basis, but again only if excited or exhausted.  We plan to take him back to the pediatric neurologist in a few months when he turns 4.  There is absolutely know other signs of anything wrong besides the flapping.  We feel very blessed to have a healthy, bright boy, but am concerned because it is not getting better as he grow older.  I have seen other postings from a few other mothers that have the same concerns and was hoping there was some feedback from some of you, particularly shelbydog.  Shelbydog had a posting about a year ago regarding her son's similar behavior.  Everything you described regarding your son sounded just like my son.  Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.  

[Erikahunter]

I'm  13 and I have been flapping like that since birth. People tell me I should stop doing it because it makes me look autistic but I really cant help it. I only do it when Im excited or hyper. It doesn't really bother me but people often give me weird looks.

[heather9336]

I am a 20 year old girl. I started making a twisty facial expression while moving my arms when i was 6 months old, for a year my mom thought it was cute. eventually Drs said i would grow out of it when i got to be a teenager or it would get better. Whenever I am excited or most especially if i am daydreaming about an outcome I flap my hands like a bird.  My stepdad always would say are you trying to fly away? He was pretty harsh on me. When i was in grade school it was the worst because kids did make fun of me a bit. I got older and I could control the hand flapping a little bit better in highschool but the funny face not as easily. I am now married and out of school but I think it will be something I just have my whole life

[Cyran0]

Finding this discussion has been a bit of a revelation since I've never seen this behavior outside of my own family.  Thank you for everyone who's posting here.

I have engaged in various versions of this behavior since before I can remember.  When I was a kid my primary movement was to flap my hands while jumping and making a sort of intense "O" face with my mouth.  I did this pretty much every time I got excited or happy.  My mind would start racing and I would just get lost in my thoughts and daydreams.  Doing this meant I was happy and excited and I really enjoyed doing it.  It was a release.  

Unfortunately it made me a giant target in school.  I was a goofy kid and this behavior didn't help.  I was teased relentlessly.  This was back in the 80s so schools didn't care about bullying and it just became a living hell.  I knew my hand flapping was contributing so when I'd feel the need to do it I'd grab the seat of my desk or one of the metal legs and squeeze it hard, gluing my hand to the spot.  This cut down the flapping considerably but it lead to the behavior that I'd have for the rest of my life: I make fists while clenching my jaw and (sometimes) pacing.  Sadly I was already the least popular kid in school so being bullied wouldn't go away, it stayed with me 'till the end and my perception of myself was forever altered by it.

All of that sounds terrible but the good news is that as an adult I no longer see these behaviors as a problem, I just didn't know anyone else did them.  I'm a filmmaker and TV producer and this hyperactive imagination thing serves me well.  If people catch me doing it I explain that I call it "hyper thought" and that it's "just my super charged version of daydreaming."  As for being weird, well, it is still weird but I'm an eccentric adult, I sort of revel in my weird little quirks now, and so I don't really care what other people think.

I do want to add a curve ball though.  In all the reading I've done on Stereotypic Movement Disorder tonight, I've noticed it is very much associated with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and I do have that.  These movements and OCD both run in my family.  This may mean that my experience is different from many of you as anxiety is a huge part of my life.  I don't know.

Anyway, thank you all for sharing here.  Like I said, learning that other people do this too is huge for me.  I wish I could go back and tell that little kid that other people do it too.  I think I would have liked knowing that.

[ThrowawayJonny]

I'm 30 and I do this. Typically while daydreaming or "letting my mind wander". I won't realize I'm doing it and then I'll notice and stop myself.

[Sophie712]

I am 18 years old and I have flapped for as long as i can remember. My parents never really thought anything of it but would occasionally tell me to stop flapping throughout my childhood. I assumed that I would grow out of flapping at some point and now 18 and at university I almost forget that I ever do it. The one time I can't control it is when i am revising or doing university work on my own. This is now pretty much the only time i do it but i find it very difficult to revise or do work without doing it. In fact i simply don't realise I'm doing it whilst working until I think about someone else seeing me. I found it very interesting to see that other people feel the same and feel as if they cannot be creative without doing it. I feel restricted if i revise or do work whilst trying to not flap as this simply distracts me from my work. My brother does something similar but always had a stick in his hands when he was flapping, now 21 and at university as well he now has to hold a pen whilst revising and still flaps with it. Me and my brother are middle children and our older sister and younger brother do not flap. I honestly have no idea why I have always felt the need to do this and never really considered that so many others would do the same.

I guess not everyone does grow out of it as me and my brother still haven't but really the only 'issue' with it is it is embarrassing if others catch you doing it, as you get older you automatically learn to control it in certain situations and now the only time i really do it is when I'm revising and i don't think any of my friends are aware that i do it at all. So i wouldn't worry about your children even if they don't grow out of it, if anything it would have really benefited me if i had known so many other people did it too. Let your children know that its not 'weird' and maybe then it won't be such a big issue and easier to stop.

[Edenlkk]

This is exactly how I feel and what I've explained! Thank you for your input :)

[sarahelizabeth11]

Robbie, I read more on that disorder that you labelled it as. I don't know that that is the right diagnostic.. it wasn't associated with excitement. It was associated with stress or negative feelings and with a disorder. It really is just an outward expression of excitement isn't it?