I am experiencing nearly the same exact symptoms you described above. In the past few years, I have been diagnosed with several anxiety disorders. I received my first diagnosis back in 2007 of social anxiety disorder and was later diagnosed with generalized and OCD obsessional type. Throughout this time I also received the diagnosis of major depressive disorder.
The most distressing of these, however, were the anxiety disorders. My anxiety used to manifest itself primarily as bodily symptoms - constant heart palpitations, feelings of impending doom. I would experience these things from the minute I woke up til I went to sleep. As a result of my social anxiety I became very reclusive - spending nearly all my time alone on the internet and avoiding all interaction. The OCD manifested itself with rumination over these things and also with obsession regarding my thinking. See, in my circle of friends and family, i have always been the smart one. When my anxiety set in, I worried that this was the beginning of schizophrenia. I was able to get over that fear but could not stop obsessing that my thinking, speech and writing are not as clear as they used to be; that something is wrong with my thinking. So, I thought about these things all the time. Day and night.
Recently, I accepted a highly demanding research position and the anxiety has spiraled out of control. For the past few months I have sensations of a fullness in my head which won't go away. I also have a constant pressure in my forehead. I can only do mundane tasks and find that my thinking is extremely rigid. Thing is, I know I am intelligent. I took an IQ test at a university and scored 121. I've just become absolutely obsessed with myself, my thinking. Basically, many of the things you list above.
Could you please tell me if you were able to get help for these things? I want to feel better and I want to succeed at my job and in my life and am feeling hopeless at this point.
Best of luck to you!
AJ
I
Hello.
You do not have an active psychosis right now. I guess this is the period where the medicines are working well to prevent a relapse. The antipsychotics that you are taking are known to induce some cognitive slowing. The neurotransmitter imbalance is taken care of, but it interferes with normal thinking.
There are moments of the affective part of the disorder, for example, when you feel you are God. The medicines are stopping you from acting on the thought.
There is no doubt that you are intelligent. It is the current cognitive clouding that makes you wonder if you are retarded. Do not lose faith in your abilities. You have a good understanding of your condition. This is the best thing. Keep on constant efforts to lift yourself up. Give yourself small challenges and achieve short term targets. Reward yourself for meeting the targets. Undertake some intellectually stimulating activities.
I am sure you will successfully control the disorder.
Regards