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Are today's parents too scared to say no?
Parents scared of demanding children
Newstalk ZB August 7, 2010, 9:56 pm
Are today's parents too scared to say no?
American-born British psychologist Aric Sigman believes so.
In fact he has written a book entitled The Spoilt Generation, in which he claims modern parents are raising a generation of children who do not respect anyone.
Dr Sigman says spoilt traditionally means children have too much money, too many toys, or are fat.
He says there is now a new generation of children who are spoilt in a different way - they have a sense of entitlement, are more concerned with themselves than others and believe they deserve something just because they want it.
Dr Sigman says the best way to sum up the spoilt generation is their reduced level of empathy.
He is currently visiting New Zealand and yesterday spoke at a Family First forum.
Newstalk ZB August 7, 2010, 9:56 pm
Are today's parents too scared to say no?
American-born British psychologist Aric Sigman believes so.
In fact he has written a book entitled The Spoilt Generation, in which he claims modern parents are raising a generation of children who do not respect anyone.
Dr Sigman says spoilt traditionally means children have too much money, too many toys, or are fat.
He says there is now a new generation of children who are spoilt in a different way - they have a sense of entitlement, are more concerned with themselves than others and believe they deserve something just because they want it.
Dr Sigman says the best way to sum up the spoilt generation is their reduced level of empathy.
He is currently visiting New Zealand and yesterday spoke at a Family First forum.
Margy: My kids each have their own car, laptops, video games, their own TV and on it goes. I'm not depriving them. But for some kids this isn't enough. My middle son told me he needed an allowance of $250 per month for dating. I told him, well, you better get a job.because I will never agree to that. They get a generous allowance, but not that generous!
PS.. bounderies of course are good ....
okay Okay I see kids in a differant light, maybe i have been lucky, I have found ,be they other peoples or mine they thrive on positive attention, fun,positive feedback, reading talking , if they want something and they deserve it and I can afford it, why not ... lol its okay but I dont see it your way guys ...at all .but thats okay I like reading your aspect .....
I agree with you April. In my house, we will supply them with plenty of things. But when it comes to a new phone or video game, just because they want it, well, I get out my list of chores that will earn you money. I also do something many parents disagree with. I pay for good grades. And it works. They do their school work. And have admitted that the money was a contributing factor! Why not? They get paid for good work in the working world. Why not for the grades? They learn something in spite of themselves.
I have to agree with Dr. Sigman. I believe we are seeing a generation of very spoiled children. It ranges from the child who throws a fit in the store until you buy them something to quiet them to the teenager who has arrogant sense of entitlement that we "owe them". I've noticed this a lot with the teens that were in my daughter's school. There were so many lazy, unmotivated kids not willing to work but complaining if Mommy and Daddy didn't give them the car or money. I'm not saying all teens are this way because I know there are plenty of good kids out there but I do believe that too many kids have never been told no so when they are told no they can't take it. Then when they do get a job they can't keep it because they can't stand having a boss who tells them what to do.
The lack of respect I'm seeing anymore is atrocious. I see children hitting their parents and screaming "I hate you!" or even using foul language and calling their parents names. I see teenagers hanging out in front of the malls smoking shouting curse words and laughing, not even caring if they offend anyone, and slamming doors in your face. (Whatever happened to holding a door open for someone?!)
We are the richest nation in the world and have plenty to eat yet we are the most wasteful and spend more money on ourselves than anyone else. They mentioned this in church today. We are so fortunate and have so much and don't really appreciate it. There are so many countries where they are starving and dying from diseases that can be helped with the right medicine and care. And yet you see how grateful they are when they are given anything at all. It's pretty sobering.
It's something our young people could think about the next time they think they have to have that latest video game. At least they have a home, clothes, education and are well fed. That's so much more than so many other countries out there.
The lack of respect I'm seeing anymore is atrocious. I see children hitting their parents and screaming "I hate you!" or even using foul language and calling their parents names. I see teenagers hanging out in front of the malls smoking shouting curse words and laughing, not even caring if they offend anyone, and slamming doors in your face. (Whatever happened to holding a door open for someone?!)
We are the richest nation in the world and have plenty to eat yet we are the most wasteful and spend more money on ourselves than anyone else. They mentioned this in church today. We are so fortunate and have so much and don't really appreciate it. There are so many countries where they are starving and dying from diseases that can be helped with the right medicine and care. And yet you see how grateful they are when they are given anything at all. It's pretty sobering.
It's something our young people could think about the next time they think they have to have that latest video game. At least they have a home, clothes, education and are well fed. That's so much more than so many other countries out there.
I wanted to bring this up because of what I see among some of my teen's friends. These kids spent the first 12 years of their lives getting away with anything, with parents covering for them. Now the parents want to reel them in. Way too late.
You have let a child know from the beginning that not only do you love them more than life, but that it's your job to guide them and not let them get away with everything. But choose your battles. I don't believe in anything more than a swift pop on a rear to get their attention. Never denigrate or embarrass your child or call them names. But they have to understand who is in charge. They need boundaries. And waiting until they are in their teens is not going to work.
Several teens who come over here frequently run amok at home. They don't do it here. They know to use "yes ma'am and yes sir". They know what I will and will not put up with. I allow free rein enough to be teens but not to be disrespectful or destructive to their bodies or my house!!
I'm starting to believe all prospective parents need parenting classes. Unfortunately, the only ones who would sign up for them are those who care. The others will just continue to spit out undisciplined children. We, as a society, lose.
You have let a child know from the beginning that not only do you love them more than life, but that it's your job to guide them and not let them get away with everything. But choose your battles. I don't believe in anything more than a swift pop on a rear to get their attention. Never denigrate or embarrass your child or call them names. But they have to understand who is in charge. They need boundaries. And waiting until they are in their teens is not going to work.
Several teens who come over here frequently run amok at home. They don't do it here. They know to use "yes ma'am and yes sir". They know what I will and will not put up with. I allow free rein enough to be teens but not to be disrespectful or destructive to their bodies or my house!!
I'm starting to believe all prospective parents need parenting classes. Unfortunately, the only ones who would sign up for them are those who care. The others will just continue to spit out undisciplined children. We, as a society, lose.
Well I dont agree with Dr Sigman bet hes left wing I believe children thrive on kindness, Fun , health and respect,toys, games , attention,....no hes wrong ..in my opinion ....thats the communist way of thinking... Capitalists spoil their kids ...hey what is every one trying to do change America completely .....
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