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enough already: why emotional excess impedes success
I did something unforgivable today.
I yelled at my husband for making me pancakes.
It’s true. He got up early this morning, proudly whipped up a new recipe, and greeted me in bed with a 3-layer stack of steaming, buttery pancakes soaked in cinnamon, vanilla, and syrup. And what did I do? I promptly bit his head off.
The thought stream went a little like this:
What is this? He wants me to carb-load first thing in the morning? I thought we were going to work out this morning! He knows I hate sugary food in the morning. I not gonna want to work out after eating this. I don’t want to work out later – I have a lot to do today – why hasn’t has mentioned getting the car washed yet? Is he even THINKING about getting the car washed? Did he remember we have to go to Home Depot for copies of the apartment keys? We haven’t set a meal plan for the week and I still need to update my Linked In profile and finish the baby shower slide show and build an empire and pay off student debt and this man is serving me pancakes in bed!? How dare him!
You know the Wendy Williams nod? – (those of you who know her, know it well) – that’s what I’m doing right now.
Ok, so here’s the deal. I had a moment of total mental collapse. This morning’s ravenous outburst certainly had nothing to do with pancakes. I like pancakes. Do I prefer them for the first meal of the day when I’m in a ‘get fit’ frame of mind? Not typically, but that’s besides the point. In fact, the pancakes were damn good. The best. Ironically, I was so t-ed off about everything else I didn’t even tell him that.
Here’s the problem. Yes, I’ve been going through quite a transition lately, dealing with unsold real estate, career changes, a political and spiritual identity crisis, and a physical geographic move (to name a few major issues). Those things are emotionally taxing. But if I’ m honest with myself – and what I realized today while sobbing in the bathroom because my husband did – God forbid – something thoughtful and nice for me – I’ve been so used to being overwhelmed that I’ve replaced legitimate stressors with things that are now utterly ridiculous.
We all know that stress is relative. Even today as I sat stewing on the couch in anger, I watched an episode of Extreme Home Makeover. These people didn’t have a HOUSE and I’m up in arms about a pile of laundry.
Renovating our kitchen, preparing for deployment, missing a flight to Seattle where you have to speak in front of hundreds – those are justifiable stressors. The dirty food processor sitting in the sink and unopened mail by the front door are not. I have become so conditioned to categorize everything in my life as a BIG DEAL that I’ve directed my good, usable, emotional energy towards things that are life suckers.
Of course, we all need our clothes clean and the dog hair vacuumed off the couch (unless you come to visit – in that case, we NEVER let the animals on the couch) – but giving household chores permission to throw us into uncontrollable fits of rag is absolutely uncalled for. That, in turn, inhibits me from doing things I love – namely, being productive and creative and working to my ultimate potential.
We all have stress in our lives. But single-handedly the biggest impediment to success is allowing the WRONG (or irrelevant) stressors to get in your way. We all want a clean house, clean dog, birthday card system, fresh towels, and the movies taken back on time (seriously, does that ever happen?), but the truth is, we can’t let the small stuff get in the way of our getting things done that actually create production, incite progress, and generate prosperity.
See? While my husband is out getting the car washed and oil changed (and wondering what demons have possessed me), I have completed an entire post. Usually, I schedule time to write, and up until the point I actually sit down and start writing, I spend time clearing my mind and space (which generally involves a lot of cleaning) so I feel ‘ready’ to start writing. Logical and yet mostly counterproductive. Perhaps if I reversed that order, and concentrated on the RIGHT things first, I wouldn’t feel the need to take my life’s frustration out on the dishes. Or the person who lives with me.
Remember, in the end, people believe what you do, not what you say. Get things done without letting all the undone things get in your way. And if you can do that, and succeed, you’ll be in a position one day to hire the help, anyway.
Now, I shall work on planning something fun and relaxing for this evening to demonstrate my sincere apologizes to the chef.
Happy Sunday.
http://hardinstreet.com/2010/05/23/enough-already-why-emotional-excess-impedes-success/
I yelled at my husband for making me pancakes.
It’s true. He got up early this morning, proudly whipped up a new recipe, and greeted me in bed with a 3-layer stack of steaming, buttery pancakes soaked in cinnamon, vanilla, and syrup. And what did I do? I promptly bit his head off.
The thought stream went a little like this:
What is this? He wants me to carb-load first thing in the morning? I thought we were going to work out this morning! He knows I hate sugary food in the morning. I not gonna want to work out after eating this. I don’t want to work out later – I have a lot to do today – why hasn’t has mentioned getting the car washed yet? Is he even THINKING about getting the car washed? Did he remember we have to go to Home Depot for copies of the apartment keys? We haven’t set a meal plan for the week and I still need to update my Linked In profile and finish the baby shower slide show and build an empire and pay off student debt and this man is serving me pancakes in bed!? How dare him!
You know the Wendy Williams nod? – (those of you who know her, know it well) – that’s what I’m doing right now.
Ok, so here’s the deal. I had a moment of total mental collapse. This morning’s ravenous outburst certainly had nothing to do with pancakes. I like pancakes. Do I prefer them for the first meal of the day when I’m in a ‘get fit’ frame of mind? Not typically, but that’s besides the point. In fact, the pancakes were damn good. The best. Ironically, I was so t-ed off about everything else I didn’t even tell him that.
Here’s the problem. Yes, I’ve been going through quite a transition lately, dealing with unsold real estate, career changes, a political and spiritual identity crisis, and a physical geographic move (to name a few major issues). Those things are emotionally taxing. But if I’ m honest with myself – and what I realized today while sobbing in the bathroom because my husband did – God forbid – something thoughtful and nice for me – I’ve been so used to being overwhelmed that I’ve replaced legitimate stressors with things that are now utterly ridiculous.
We all know that stress is relative. Even today as I sat stewing on the couch in anger, I watched an episode of Extreme Home Makeover. These people didn’t have a HOUSE and I’m up in arms about a pile of laundry.
Renovating our kitchen, preparing for deployment, missing a flight to Seattle where you have to speak in front of hundreds – those are justifiable stressors. The dirty food processor sitting in the sink and unopened mail by the front door are not. I have become so conditioned to categorize everything in my life as a BIG DEAL that I’ve directed my good, usable, emotional energy towards things that are life suckers.
Of course, we all need our clothes clean and the dog hair vacuumed off the couch (unless you come to visit – in that case, we NEVER let the animals on the couch) – but giving household chores permission to throw us into uncontrollable fits of rag is absolutely uncalled for. That, in turn, inhibits me from doing things I love – namely, being productive and creative and working to my ultimate potential.
We all have stress in our lives. But single-handedly the biggest impediment to success is allowing the WRONG (or irrelevant) stressors to get in your way. We all want a clean house, clean dog, birthday card system, fresh towels, and the movies taken back on time (seriously, does that ever happen?), but the truth is, we can’t let the small stuff get in the way of our getting things done that actually create production, incite progress, and generate prosperity.
See? While my husband is out getting the car washed and oil changed (and wondering what demons have possessed me), I have completed an entire post. Usually, I schedule time to write, and up until the point I actually sit down and start writing, I spend time clearing my mind and space (which generally involves a lot of cleaning) so I feel ‘ready’ to start writing. Logical and yet mostly counterproductive. Perhaps if I reversed that order, and concentrated on the RIGHT things first, I wouldn’t feel the need to take my life’s frustration out on the dishes. Or the person who lives with me.
Remember, in the end, people believe what you do, not what you say. Get things done without letting all the undone things get in your way. And if you can do that, and succeed, you’ll be in a position one day to hire the help, anyway.
Now, I shall work on planning something fun and relaxing for this evening to demonstrate my sincere apologizes to the chef.
Happy Sunday.
http://hardinstreet.com/2010/05/23/enough-already-why-emotional-excess-impedes-success/
I've been feeling the stress a lot lately too! And I hate it because it makes me crabby. My patience hasn't been as good as it usually is and I find myself wanting to run away and find myself some deserted island where I can soak up the sun and breathe in that salt air and watch the ocean. You don't know how badly I've been wanting to get to a beach! Unfortunately, they don't have a beach or ocean in Colorado, lol.
Seriously, though, I understand how stress can get to you because I've had more than my fair share the last few years. I think it's important for us all to try to find some quiet time for reflection and to rejuvenate and refresh ourselves or we will get burned out fast!
Seriously, though, I understand how stress can get to you because I've had more than my fair share the last few years. I think it's important for us all to try to find some quiet time for reflection and to rejuvenate and refresh ourselves or we will get burned out fast!
ha ha ha yes I have a few of these .... last few days all has been well ...you are right its usually the small stuff ...
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