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Avatar universal

Is this what obesity feels like?

27yF Looking for some support here. I've always been on the heavy side, and have lost and gained the same 100 lbs. throughout the last 10 or so years. I currently weigh 275 lbs, and I'm 5'2'. I used to be really active and had quite a stamina for an obese person. I used to love to dance, walk, and have an upbeat attitude with plenty of energy. But a full time stressful desk job + a bed rest pregnancy with complications has de-conditioned me to exercise over the last year. I've had some lightheadedness, as well as feeling short of breath, these symptoms are usually exacerbated by exercise and eating. I'm trying to stay mildly active but I'm just so exhausted. Not in the can't catch my breath kind of way (unless I'm doing something strenuous) but in the I feel like I need air, or breathing too slow. I've also had some orthostatic hypotension and get a pounding in my head when I stand up. I've been fatigued, and don't feel rested when I wake up in the morning (regardless of how well I slept). I've been suffering with migraines, as well. Overall, I feel like crap. Every. Single. Day. In some fashion or another. If it's not my fatigue, it's my lightheadedness. If its not that, I end up with a migraine. Can anyone relate? I have PCOS, and have recently started metformin. It's been upsetting my stomach. Every time I eat I feel like my food doesn't go down, and my stomach is in rumbling knots. Anyway, My GP is sending me to a Neuro for migraines, and and a hematologist for possible anemia (not related to iron deficiency) I saw a cardiologist, who did an EKG and said everything is fine, and that I feel this way because I'm obese. So, that's where my question and frustration lies. I get what he's saying, but then I remember my old self (same weight) and I wasn't feeling this off. My tolerance for how I feel is extremely low, and has been giving me severe anxiety and depression. I've been crying almost every day, and feel like I'm in a constant state of complacent fear, "Well, I'm feeling *enter symptom here* again. I'll try and push through it the best I can." but in the same moment I'm thinking "I know something is wrong with me, it can't just be my weight. I'm going to have a heart attack or a stroke. No one is going to believe me because they brush it off to anxiety or being fat. Hell, I don't even know if I would even know given how crappy I feel lately." This is not a healthy way to be thinking right now. My husband is really trying to help me get well both mentally and physically, but nothing he says really helps. I feel like noone understands how hard it is to get out of bed everyday and function like a normal person. I have a 10 month old, and a wonderful husband, I'm young, and I want to enjoy my life and my weight and anxiety is holding me back. I feel a lot of regret for how I got here, and a resentment for not taking care of my body and seeing a doctor when I should have about certain chronic health issues that are now out of control. I wake up every day thinking maybe I'll feel normal again, just to be disappointed and frustrated. The more I write the more I realize that I ultimately feel that I'm going to die because of how I feel every day, and I feel this way because I'm fat and ignored my health. If you took the time to read this, thank you. I'm just sharing my experience in hopes that someone can share something to help me get through this. Thanks.
1 Responses
Avatar universal
And just to add. I've lost 50 lbs this past year. I am working towards losing weight. I just wish I had sooner.
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