It is always good when you have these types of thoughts to go and get the diagnosis that way the pschologist knows what you two need to work on. The bottom line is we do not wake up one day and become gay. IMO we are either born gay or we are not. The trick is to give these thoughts no credit. They are fictions that your mind has created. Say out loud "I'm gay." After having done so, does it make you want to run out and have a relationship with another woman? I'm thinking not and if that is indeed the case, then you cannot possibly be gay.
Yeah, maybe it's HOCD. Anyway, I am not prepared for diagnose what you have, so you must see a therapist. I know it's difficult this and it feel so real. You can send me a message and we can talk, maybe i could help you. I'm also struggling with this. Cheers!
The past two months. They came so suddenly over the summer, like one day I just woke up and my entire identity was gone.
How long have you been with these thoughts? All of your symptoms are typical of HOCD.