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Blood in my home
Just found this site, and I feel like I might get help here. I have had ocd for quite a while now. It comes and it goes. When one thought finally leaves, there's always another to take its place. I truly hate this, and it is robbing me of my joy with my family, especially my grandchildren. I'm always afraid I will innocently contract some uncontrollable disease or that I would pass on the contamination and harm others. I've struggled with mrsa, rabies, hiv, hepatitis, thoughts. Actually, the list is pretty long. I was doing pretty well until I had painters in my house. One of them had a nosebleed. It totally freaked me out that someone in my home shared or contaminated it with blood. I was outside when the nosebleed occurred, perhaps 30 to 45 minutes. I really don't remember the window of time. Now I'm fearful that somehow this painter contaminated my office and utility room area with hiv. I go barefoot through my house all the time. To my knowledge, (what ocd hasn't destroyed, I think that I had zero cuts on my hands and feet.) That night I got out of bed and put on my gloves and started wiping things in the utility room, as that is where he said he went. I just can't shake it. I feel like I may have come into contact with and contracted hiv, even though I don't know the status of this individual. I try to reassure myself, but I'm really struggling. I have a new granddaughter expected by the end of January, and I'm already afraid to hold her or change her diaper, etc. I do so hate this.
oops, thanks for the valuable information. I got so wrapped up in my message....my next step will be to fully trust that toilet seat! (Baby Steps)
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I've really been feeling good about myself. There is so much going on that I don't have enough time to think about my crazy issues. I'm going to "turn over a new leaf"...... I want so desperately to get rid of ocd. This weekend will be a test for me. I always seem to get more anxious around my grandchildren. I'm leaving today for a 3 day visit and to celebrate my childrens' Christmas. I'm going with a good attitude. I prepared some food without contamination worries.....didn't even take out my gloves! Isn't that just pitiful? I want so badly to live a normal life.
It takes special people such as yourself to be an encourager. You are using your expertise wisely and helping others in need. I know you don't like having ocd, but it helps when others do understand the mental issues. My sister thinks I look at things "half empty"..... that's so far from the truth. I don't know where the irrational behavior comes from. Maybe PTSD. Regardless, I'm going to fight fight fight and then fight some more!
It takes special people such as yourself to be an encourager. You are using your expertise wisely and helping others in need. I know you don't like having ocd, but it helps when others do understand the mental issues. My sister thinks I look at things "half empty"..... that's so far from the truth. I don't know where the irrational behavior comes from. Maybe PTSD. Regardless, I'm going to fight fight fight and then fight some more!
Absolutely you can use your toilet without any fear whatsoever. Remember what I told you about HIV. It doesn't live in the air and on surfaces. There cannot possibly be any HIV in your utility area. So you can take the next step with confidence. Let me know how it goes but I know you will be able to do it.
You've been so helpful. As you can tell, my name has changed to protect my heritage. Do you think it's okay to use the toilet??? I know what you will tell me, but it helps getting me past all this. I trust other people more than I trust myself!
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That's exactly what you have to do. You can't give in. As an OCD sufferer, when you think that irrational thought you have to do a complete 180 and go and face that fear. If I think all of a sudden I won't be able to drive, I get my keys and out I go just to prove I can. I don't give in. I face my fears and that is exactly what you are doing. Great job!
okay, it has been 2 weeks now, and I'm starting to feel better. I've been going back into my utility room, generally to the freezer and washer and dryer, but today I went in and sprayed all the other stuff with Clorox cleanup. I'm facing my fears! My next step will be to use the toilet in the utility room! I'm not feeling so much contamination anymore, and I'm going to get over this ocd!!!
I'm not up to date on the different tests. I do believe there are some out there that can detect antibodies to HIV earlier than 3 months. However, the standard is that if a person is negative at three months, then that is a definite negative with no ifs, ands or buts.
Until then, try to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. When you think that negative thought, replace it with "HIV does not live in the air therefore I cannot be positive." Write down your thoughts in a journal. Also it may help to write down the facts about HIV transmission on an index card and when you have the thought, then you pull out the card and read it.
Until then, try to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. When you think that negative thought, replace it with "HIV does not live in the air therefore I cannot be positive." Write down your thoughts in a journal. Also it may help to write down the facts about HIV transmission on an index card and when you have the thought, then you pull out the card and read it.
Thank you so much. I am trying to "Get past it"......I try to give it to God, but it seems that something happens and I snatch it right back. Thank you for your knowledge and sharing with those of us who need rationality so badly.
ps....is there any other test available rather than having to wait for 3 months? You know my brain is already counting the days!
ps....is there any other test available rather than having to wait for 3 months? You know my brain is already counting the days!
I think that the pdoc was right. I believe that we all have some sort of trigger. Some we can pinpoint and others we cannot. I had HIV anxiety once because I worked in an HIV lab and I thought they were unsafe. They would bring me vials of HIV with no gloves on their hands and then go and use the telephone in my lab. I quit! But I still had to battle the HIV anxiety. It got so bad I had to go and sit in an AIDS clinic during my lunch hour for a few weeks so that I could get over my phobia and anxiety about it.
You said this year as been bad. I'm wondering if the meds you are on are working at the levels you are taking them. I had to go from 150 Wellbutrin to 300 in May because the 150 just wasn't cutting it. So something to think about.
As far as the HIV goes. You said you were outside for at least a half an hour. That is more than enough time for the virus, if there even was any, to die.
Since I would never, ever tell you to "just stop thinking about it" because I know how well that DOES not work, can I suggest a book then? It is by Joseph Luciani and it is called Self-Coaching. I read it in May and it was an eye opener. It explained to me why we are the way we are. I think it is pretty cheap on Amazon. Just a thought.
I hope that you feel better soon and that you can find your way out of this viscious cycle.
You said this year as been bad. I'm wondering if the meds you are on are working at the levels you are taking them. I had to go from 150 Wellbutrin to 300 in May because the 150 just wasn't cutting it. So something to think about.
As far as the HIV goes. You said you were outside for at least a half an hour. That is more than enough time for the virus, if there even was any, to die.
Since I would never, ever tell you to "just stop thinking about it" because I know how well that DOES not work, can I suggest a book then? It is by Joseph Luciani and it is called Self-Coaching. I read it in May and it was an eye opener. It explained to me why we are the way we are. I think it is pretty cheap on Amazon. Just a thought.
I hope that you feel better soon and that you can find your way out of this viscious cycle.
You don't know how happy I was when I saw your little yellow flowers on my post. I have read some posts on this forum this morning, and I like the way you try to help people.
I was on prozac and xanax since 1987 after my husband had a penetrating brain injury. The psychiatrist told me that I had PTSD after losing both my parents in a horrible incident back in 1976. I was 25 at the time. He felt that it triggered my ocd. I'm not sure, but I think ocd has always been present in my life, just not as persistent.
I have gone to various doctors for help. It just seems that in this past year, it has been worse than ever. A skunk in the garage with my dog triggered a fear of rabies, an armadillo digging in my yard, and me walking barefoot, triggered a fear of leprosy. After I got over those two episodes, along comes the nosebleed. It has now been one week. Today while talking to my son on the phone, I noticed two little red spots on the carpet. I worked up my courage, put on my gloves, and cleaned it. I'm freaked out again knowing that I have been in and out of my favorite room (computer is my friend), most of the time barefoot.
I am still afraid to touch too many things in my utility room
Do you think I was outside long enough to be safe? I know you said I have no worries, but I am still obsessing.
I am currently on zoloft (150 mg) , xanax, and resperidone. I'm just an irrational basket case. I wish I could get past all this and move on with my life the way that God intended me to.
I know the virus is fragile, but I also know that I'm irrational. I hate this so badly. Thank you for taking the time for me.
I was on prozac and xanax since 1987 after my husband had a penetrating brain injury. The psychiatrist told me that I had PTSD after losing both my parents in a horrible incident back in 1976. I was 25 at the time. He felt that it triggered my ocd. I'm not sure, but I think ocd has always been present in my life, just not as persistent.
I have gone to various doctors for help. It just seems that in this past year, it has been worse than ever. A skunk in the garage with my dog triggered a fear of rabies, an armadillo digging in my yard, and me walking barefoot, triggered a fear of leprosy. After I got over those two episodes, along comes the nosebleed. It has now been one week. Today while talking to my son on the phone, I noticed two little red spots on the carpet. I worked up my courage, put on my gloves, and cleaned it. I'm freaked out again knowing that I have been in and out of my favorite room (computer is my friend), most of the time barefoot.
I am still afraid to touch too many things in my utility room
Do you think I was outside long enough to be safe? I know you said I have no worries, but I am still obsessing.
I am currently on zoloft (150 mg) , xanax, and resperidone. I'm just an irrational basket case. I wish I could get past all this and move on with my life the way that God intended me to.
I know the virus is fragile, but I also know that I'm irrational. I hate this so badly. Thank you for taking the time for me.
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Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
First let me tell you a little bit about HIV. It cannot live on surfaces or in the air at all. If an infected person has a nosebleed, the virus will die very quickly once it comes into contact with the air. It is super fragile. It can only be spread when an HIV infected person's bodily fluid (blood, semen, etc.) comes into DIRECT contact with another person via a cut or abrasion. That is why it is often transmitted during intercourse. You will not find people being infected from doorknobs, counter tops, the local buffet because it just simply cannot spread this way. If it could, then the entire world would be infected by now. So let me put your mind at ease that first the chances that this guy is HIV positive are very, very low and second, his nosebleed is not a form of transmission.
So having said that, on to your OCD. It doesn't sound as if you have ever been treated for this? You know you have it so I'm assuming at some point someone diagnosed you? A psychiatrist perhaps?
I am going to go on the assumption that you have never had therapy for this disorder. If I'm wrong, then well I just typed a bunch of stuff for nothing but that's okay. So the first thing you need to do is get in touch with a psychologist that teaches cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT includes things such as controlled breathing, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, etc. Also, just the talk therapy alone has a lot of value. Between you and the psychologist you can decide if you want to try medication. A combination of CBT and medication is very effective.
I have been on meds and then off them for years and then back on them again. Never OCD free, but manageable. I learned CBT a long time ago so when this last "crisis" happened where I was completely off the hook and couldn't control my thoughts to save my life, I went back on medication and used my CBT. This was this past May. I take Wellbutrin and klonopin and I'm really fine now. The medications work very well. Now this is no magic bullet. I am not OCD free but when that stupid irrational thought comes, I can let it go and move on with my life.
So I encourage you to seek professional help. There is no need to suffer with this because it is highly treatable. And also, don't worry about the HIV because it is an impossibility to get it this way.
If you have any other questions, let me know. I hope that you can get your life back and enjoy your grandchildren the way you should be able to.