I have developed a serious and seemingly uncontrollable problem with compulsive masturbation in public, as well as compulsively searching for sex whenever there is a trigger. It is a trigger problem, without them I think I would be fine, but they can't feasibly be removed any further than I have already tried.
If it were simple masturbation or sex desire I wouldn't have a problem based on numbers or anything. Its just the way those desires are funneled. I masturbate in public a few time a week, not premeditated, but by trigger. For example, I see a girl in a skirt and instantly begin to masturbate to use the woman as the visual stimulant, then I will keep searching, maybe for up to an hour until an attractive enough woman walks by to bring the orgasm. I keep it concealed and secret but im guessing some people have noticed strange behavior. Usually the desire for sex and masturbation are not mixed, for example, when I masturbate in public, I am only concerned about getting the up close imagery, and not progressing things to sex. I feel very shameful for the compulsive desires but also do have a regular sex life as well, but my regular sex life is heavily burdened by my other addictions. I don't know what my real problem is, I don't know how to treat it, and I don't know how to stay motivated.
I tried to take away the enablers, such as selling my car (which is what I used to conceal myself in, glancing out to pedestrians to get the stimulant), but then I just started masturbating outside the car and at about the same rate. I've tried pledging to myself but that has no effect,
This problem is a secret that is tearing me apart as far as my professional aspirations go and more importantly, mentally. I feel like I am becoming a lunatic, though everyone thinks I'm normal.
I don't have access to treatment programs. But does anyone have similar examples and success stories? I really just haven't found a similar problem like mine to relate to. Maybe that will help. A bit different than the typical masturbation problem.
Thanks a lot if you read and replied. This is the first form of help I've sought out.