Compulsive sex addiction

[hhhwalk]

Hello,

I have developed a serious and seemingly uncontrollable problem with compulsive masturbation in public, as well as compulsively searching for sex whenever there is a trigger. It is a trigger problem, without them I think I would be fine, but they can't feasibly be removed any further than I have already tried.

If it were simple masturbation or sex desire I wouldn't have a problem based on numbers or anything. Its just the way those desires are funneled. I masturbate in public a few time a week, not premeditated, but by trigger. For example, I see a girl in a skirt and instantly begin to masturbate to use the woman as the visual stimulant, then I will keep searching, maybe for up to an hour until an attractive enough woman walks by to bring the orgasm. I keep it concealed and secret but im guessing some people have noticed strange behavior. Usually the desire for sex and masturbation are not mixed, for example, when I masturbate in public, I am only concerned about getting the up close imagery, and not progressing things to sex. I feel very shameful for the compulsive desires but also do have a regular sex life as well, but my regular sex life is heavily burdened by my other addictions. I don't know what my real problem is, I don't know how to treat it, and I don't know how to stay motivated.

I tried to take away the enablers, such as selling my car (which is what I used to conceal myself in, glancing out to pedestrians to get the stimulant), but then I just started masturbating outside the car and at about the same rate. I've tried pledging to myself but that has no effect,

This problem is a secret that is tearing me apart as far as my professional aspirations go and more importantly, mentally. I feel like I am becoming a lunatic, though everyone thinks I'm normal.

I don't have access to treatment programs. But does anyone have similar examples and success stories? I really just haven't found a similar problem like mine to relate to. Maybe that will help. A bit different than the typical masturbation problem.

Thanks a lot if you read and replied. This is the first form of help I've sought out.

[JGF25]

This isn't something you can do on your own.  Hopefully the following site will help.  You say you don't have access to treatment programs.  I am assuming that you don't have insurance.  Maybe someone on this list can point you in the right direction.  

http://www.iitap.com/promote-your-services/sex-therapist-directory

[JGF25]

What state do you live in so that I can try to find if there are any free group therapy sessions you could attend?  

The reality is that this addiction is going to get you caught at some point.  If you are caught, you could be labeled as a sex offender and have to register on the sex offender list.  That would be awful don't you think???  

For now you have to stop yourself when this urge comes along.  SAY NO!  Occupy your mind with something else, keep on walking, self-coach yourself.  I promise you that you do not want to be picked up by the police.