The question isn't what you "identify" as, the question is, what do you do? And the answer is, you get involved with men, not women. So that's your answer. As to why you're thinking like this, something triggered it somewhere and because you suffer from anxiety you let the thought become an obsession. HOCD is just a label, but the problem is anxiety and the phobia we all have about being gay because for centuries being gay has been considered a sin. Wasn't always like that, and it's changing again so it's now more accepted, but there's still the stigma of historical discrimination. You have a bias against being gay, as does almost everyone in the last few hundred years of western civilization. Actions tell you what your sexuality is. Anxiety and insecurity make you obsess over something that if it were true would be no big deal. And it doesn't appear to be true. We have lots of thoughts, and this is just one of them, but when thoughts bother you this much it's an anxiety or insecurity problem. Therapy can help with this. Meditation can help. Looking at the thoughts and laughing at them can help. Anything that demystifies them helps. Now, if you are gay, again, so what? But clearly so far you aren't and so you aren't likely to be. If you were gay you wouldn't like your boyfriend all that much and wouldn't be attracted to him. Are you bi? Who knows? Again, doesn't sound like it, but also again, if you are, so what? So just focus on the fact this bothers you, not the content, because if you do decide you want to have sex with women, that's okay. But really, that's not who you seem to be.
Thanks so much I appreciate it