Does this sound like OCD or Anxiety? My Story

[cb360]

Hello

I know it can be annoying replying to many posts to someone who goes on but i have a question to ask:

Does this sound like OCD or Anxiety or something else

Since around the age of 10 i suffered from thoughts of cars flying in to me, or cars on string (Odd i know) i was hit by a car a few years before and saw a plane crash at an airshow. The thoughts went eventually and popped up every now and then, this was okay to handle.
I heard a song which was an upbeat quick tempo song whilst on a car journey, since then i never liked the song and didn't like fast songs.

It went again, and the Cars and Planes never bothered me. When i was around 14 i suffered from them again for around 3 months.

I then a year later suffered from them again and found it hard at school, the thoughts were now different they were of things going fast say imagine - The sea going fast, cars going fast, people speaking fast ECT - and i had them constantly they caused me many hours of hardly anysleep and a few days of school, it caused me so much anxiety i got, hot and bothered i also shaked and was always scared for my future.
My mum, dad, auntie and Nan found out and eventually after a long period saw a counsiler for six 1 hour sessions.
She talked to me about it and i found it didnt help to much, we only practiced a few breathing techniques and talked even though she was nice.
I didnt really have a connection with her.

I had the thoughts on and off in long or short periods - Now they are mostly of traveling fast such as where i am spinning or being on like a fast ride - It's still very distressing. I told my girlfriend and i cried about it sadly which made her cry.
We are still together after over two years.

I find i still get them and have for around a few weeks, only my girlfriend knows i have them.

I find the thoughts can be constant and when there not I am either anxoius or depressed about them, i find myself isolation myself in my room, turning on my laptop and TV and sitting there. I search up about mental issues and OCD to calm me down and sometimes i cant sleep, like lately.

I have been back to the GP about a year ago one person said i will refer you if you dont feel better a month later, i went back then another doctor had to see me and said it's just a teenage thing.

I worry about my future and my carrer of being a Filmmaker, i think that i may be mad or depressed my whole life.
I find i will one minuet be Happy thinkign maybe i will be okay today then i get sad and depressed.

I could go to a lady in my local College who can help and has good contacts but I'm too sacred to go to her becuase when i feel okay i dont want to see her and when im bad i do want to.
I feel like if i bother my girlfriend too much i will upset her which did happen a few times with my Mum and Dad.

I have many friends and dont let them know about it.
It's worse on nights for me.

I no longer really worry about the cars or plane crash.

If you have read this THANK YOU, what do you think?

Callum

[JGF25]

Callum, I love what Greenlydia is saying.  She really put herself out there for you so that you can get a better understanding of what you need to do.  Really think about what she has said and definately seek help.  Remember, I suffered from when I was 7 (that whole peeing thing)  through college...what a waste.  Greenlydia suffered for years as well.  When I sought help, anxiety and OCD were not as taboo.  My sister was from the same era as Greenlydia...she was told her OCD which was very, very bad by the way was "growing pains."  We just don't want to see you go through years and years of this. It will not go away on its own...and I'm very sorry to have to tell you that.  

[cb360]

Hello JGF25

Yeah i know what you mean.
Thanks though for being supportive.

Just worry sometimes that I'm going to go mad with no future because I'm wierd with the thoughts.

Thanks JG i think i will stick to that one

All the best

Callum

[JGF25]

You are one step ahead of me!  I answer questions on the Anxiety forum as well and I saw you already posted there...hopefully you will get some good responses.  

[JGF25]

Callum, not many people frequent the OCD forum as you have seen.  It is really only me!  There are wonderful people, especially Greenlydia, over on the Anxiety forum so why don't you try posting what you wrote above over there and let's see what kind of responses you get.  Again, I'm sorry you are struggling so much.  I wish I knew how to help you more.  If she misses your post, I will get her to read it and respond.  JGF