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Recent event relapsed HOCD
Okay just a quick question, please let me know if this makes any sense. A little about myself, my HOCD was triggered when one of my former best friends, who I thought was straight, came on to me during an acid trip. I immediately felt uncomfortable and left but, It triggered past memories almost like 'realizations' like "why did he think I'm gay", and I had HOCD symptoms with anxiety for many months, this happened Aug 2017. The fact that I had addiction arousal (masturbating 2-5 time a day, since 6th grade (2011)) and had watched some *** and ** porn a couple times in the months before Aug made it even worse. But confidence in myself and remembering the crushes and feelings I've had for girls up till that point allowed me to become 80% better and kick the anxiety. Unfortunately, now I still have some thoughts, but no anxiety which scares me sometimes but that's besides the point.
This is my question... today I went to the gym and saw my former friend who sparked my HOCD. I immediately started feeling a weird feeling of anxiety in my stomach almost like a sick feeling, but I keep wondering if this means I secretly like him. As a friend, he really was a bro, and up till Aug that's all I felt for him, but HOCD keeps me thinking more of me and its really hard. I was wondering if this is normal, because honestly I can't find a lot of people with a situation similar to mine and it's scary. Oh also I'm on NoFap and I'm really hoping this will help bring back those strong sexual for girls before I was desensitized by all this stupid crap. Someone please help. My main issue is that I believe I'm having some symptoms that might not be HOCD like forgetting old crushes and losing attraction.
This is my question... today I went to the gym and saw my former friend who sparked my HOCD. I immediately started feeling a weird feeling of anxiety in my stomach almost like a sick feeling, but I keep wondering if this means I secretly like him. As a friend, he really was a bro, and up till Aug that's all I felt for him, but HOCD keeps me thinking more of me and its really hard. I was wondering if this is normal, because honestly I can't find a lot of people with a situation similar to mine and it's scary. Oh also I'm on NoFap and I'm really hoping this will help bring back those strong sexual for girls before I was desensitized by all this stupid crap. Someone please help. My main issue is that I believe I'm having some symptoms that might not be HOCD like forgetting old crushes and losing attraction.
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