Fear of unseen Syringes

[UnwarrantedWorries]

Since my teenage years I have had a HIV anxiety, I never did any risky activities because of fear of becoming infected. Recently I went in for a massage and the massage lady gave me a handjob at the end and nothing else, she was not a escort only offered a handjob. After I started to feel high anxiety that maybe I got infected by the handjob but every website said it is no risk, that made me feel better for a few days now my OCD kicked in. I am now having thoughts that's maybe the previous person before me left a contaminated syringe under the massage table sheets and somehow I got poked without knowing it, or maybe the massage lady poked me intentionally with a contaminated syringe while she massaged me.

I keep trying to tell myself that those are irrational thoughts and I have nothing to worry about but my mind won't let go. I have lost sleep over this. What can I do? I try to reassure myself that I would of know if I got poked, but I somehow convince myself It happened without feeling it.

[JGF25]

That is how OCD works.  That is why a psychologist who teaches cognitive behavioral therapy would be in your best interest.  You really don't know how to counter these thoughts.  You need to learn how to stop them when they start and not let them go on and on leading you to the catastrophizing thought.  It is pretty amazing how our mind can latch on to something and trick us.  That is what it is really...a trick of the mind that puts us at war with ourselves.  

Here is a bit about OCD and what you should know.  

http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=82:ten-things-you-need-to-know-to-overcome-ocd&catid=0

[UnwarrantedWorries]

Should I worrie or are my fears irrational? I try to convince myself that I have nothing to.worry about but my OCD takes over.

[UnwarrantedWorries]

I have done nothing about my anxiety. When something triggers my HIV anxiety it's not something that I did to put myself at risk, it is usually no risk situations like shaking someone's hand with a cut on my hand for example. When I tell myself I am not at risk my mind will try to make myself think I am at risk with something that was out of my control and it is always accidental syringe pokes.

[JGF25]

What have you done as far as treatment for your HIV anxiety?  Anything?  Have you seen a psychologist?  Also is this the only thought that plagues you or are there others that stick around as well?