Really, what is left but to think positive LOL Getting tested isn't necessary in my opinion but if it sets your mind at ease then go for it. I'm glad your day was better and please give some thought to my suggestions. Take care!
Think positive on an HIV forum lol.
I was actually alot calmer today. My head didn't do the hot thing and I felt good. My tongue has a few swollen (taste buds I think) that make it feel like I have something I need to swallow but can't, That bothers me too but I haven't freaked out yet. I want to get a rapid test done at 30 days to ease my mind.
I want you to try two things today....The first is I want you to lay down on your couch and put your hands on your stomach. Then I want you to take a deep breath in through your nose, count to 5 in your head, and let it all out through your mouth. Continue to do this until you feel calmer. The second thing I want you to try is meditation. There are some wonderful meditation videos on YouTube that leave you feeling like you are part of the couch at the end. You seem to be in such a continuous heightened state of anxiety and I think you need to find a way to bring yourself down to calmness. And remember to self-coach. There is nothing wrong with your throat, nothing wrong with your head (no fever). Nobody stuck you with a needle. Even when a person is stuck with a HIV infected needle, the chances of seroconverting is 0.3 percent so this gives you an idea of how really hard it is to get. Think positive!
I started on Thursday. She believes I have OCD (Surprise Surprise) and we didn't focus on the HIV thing long. It's just, my head feels really warm but I never quite get to a fever and it really bothers me. Like now for instance. Head feels hot. 98.1. And I think my throat is getting sensitive. I'm still in the red for getting the symptoms (11th day) and just knowing I have weeks before a can get a test bothers me to no end.
And every time I see a new spot on myself I have to thoroughly check everything over. It's taking over pretty much everything at this point.
When is your next counseling session? And stop the googling, honestly it just makes a bad situation worse. I can come up with enough irrational thoughts on my own without the internet just adding to my misery and that is what it is doing to you. Your temperature is fine...stop taking it...in fact you don't even have a fever so put the thermometer away. Stop giving into the irrational thought process. Say STOP in your head when your mind starts to go there. When you find yourself sitting down at the computer say NO and make yourself get up. When you feel a twinge and you want to attribute it to HIV, then say something positive like "there is no way I have HIV, I have no risk factors for getting it, NOW ENOUGH." Self-coaching can go a long way.
If I haven't mentioned the following books then maybe make a trip to the book store....The OCD Workbook: YOur Guide to Breaking Free of OCD and Self-Coaching by Joseph Luciani (green cover). There is another book balled Brain Lock that people recomment but I honestly haven't read that one.
You are going to be fine. You have taken the first most important step on your road to recovery which is seeing a therapist. Some people just sit around and complain and then don't do anything about it. You are acting, and therefore you are going to get better.