HIV and OCD

[george1200]

Hi, I'm a young-getting-to-mid-age man with relatively mild OCD, extremely pronounced with some specific illnesses. HIV is an example: I had one zero-risk ecounter 3 years ago and spent 4 months completely obssesed by it, did like 18 HIV tests at different clinics, went to the hospital and completely broke down. I have been smart enough to take precautions even though the OCD related to HIV springs back every now and then, the mind has somehow managed to get it under control. Last week on Friday night, I went out..actually to my own bachelor party. It was fun, I got drunk...more then I would normally do (I drink but keep myself very much under control) and this is where the OCD jumps in: we went to a strip club with my mates (as part of bachelor night tradition), had fun and my best man paid for a private lap dance in the champagne room. I remember only parts of it: going there, looking at the stripper, actually bursting out laughing when I saw the fake boobs and then forgetting my wallet and taking a friend to help me find it (found it). I have a basic blackout for most of the late evening but I do remember just sitting, chatting, walking and probably being a drunk *** idiot and then getting home and actually jokingly telling my wife-to-be where we went. On Saturday I had a hangover but I felt fine in the evening. Then Sunday morning, something happened: I got fever, stomach cramps, loads of muscle and joint pain, wasn't able to move. Had night sweats that night and the night afterwards. Still feel a bit off (some back pain and headache here and then there) but mostly OK now (and I was OK after like 24hrs). Now: the logical person in me  says: you've been to a strip club, you had a few too many drinks as it happens with bachelor parties, your best man paid for a dance, you caught a bug/bacteria/something in the bar or outside when you were walking without a jacket and that's why you fell ill on Sunday. The OCD guy shouts: you had sex with the stripper but you don't remember it, you got HIV, you're an idiot. OR! You got bitten/bruised etc. and caught HIV in the strip bar. What works against the OCD guy is the fact that acute HIV should take a lot more then 36hrs to appear (at least 1 week, more likely 2) and that I didn't pay for any sex (checked all my cards and cash, including my company card and there were no withdrawals) and I doubt my friend would pay for sex (he probably wouldn't know how to, its a strip club although its been known to offer sex in the past but doesn't any more and its just not a thing he would do as a person...crosses a line). Nobody would probably want to have sex with me in the state I was, let alone a stripper in a champagne room. I wouldn't be able to have sex in that state: I can't imagine taking off my trousers. Yet, here I am, writing it and checking myself for symptoms. I have never found propper professional help for my OCD...are there any quick fixes at alll? I know how this went the last time: I convinced myself to completel assuradenes that I was HIV positive within a few days and it broke me down as a person. I have a wedding coming up soon and I don't want that to happen again...Thanks!