Aa
HOCD or denial ITS Hell
The past week has been absolute hell for me. I have been thinking that i all the sudden turned gay. I have a girlfriend now and have had one for 2 years. The question is in my head 24/7 doesnt stop, am i gay. I never ever had any sexual feelings towards a man i always noticed a good looking guy who doesnt. im in college for 2 years now and i have had sex with like 4 girls and never thought i wish this was a dude or anything. Sex now was decreased although i did do it 2 nights ago it felt great. but then the question still comes. I recently masturbated to lesbian porn about 2 weeks ago and wonder how the hell did this come about. my mind tells me im gay, its like trying to force me to be gay. I am willing to accept it but i have never been like this my whole life. i cant take it. It is like i am loosing attraction to women now because i seem to try so hard to look at them. I have slept with over 15 girls my life and all the sudden i start thinking like this. i dont know what it is, i know i will never act on homosexuality i just dont see it right for me. its like i look up stuff everyday to find relief, but then i try to loook at a girl and dont see it anymore. AHHH help seerious help
my advice would be try watching gay porn before you become active with a guy or break up with your gf because I really do think this is your OCD. The thing is soccer, those men who get married and then come out- they were always gay and knew it they just didnt want be with a man because it would embarrass their family or they came from strict home or whatever. From what I can tell you have never had a sexual attraction to a man before. Its OK to think a guy is attractive. I think girls are pretty but I that doesnt make me a lesbian. I know this is stressful but try to not stress- I have gay friends and they always knew they gay since they little so I really think this is just your OCD.
i have read some stories that guys realize they are gay.in later years of their lifes and been married. i dont want to be one of them. at all but my mind is telling me i will like it. its like a circle of thoughts, you would like, no i wouldnt, yes you would. See you just looked at a attractive guy your gay, you dont find girls hot the way you used to. But i know even though the images are there i would never act upon it. because it was never me. i never questioned it until now. more advice from anyone. my mind is telling me to lay down with a guy and try it, but when im in my normal state of mind im like wtf get out of here. but then the cycle starts again.
im like telling my self ok w.e your gay. but then im like what i would never have sex with a guy. so what the hell is going on
i have done a whole hell of research and there are dudes that become gay at a late stage in there life. i want my self back so much
Hey soccer
my situtation was I thought I was becoming a lesbian even though I had always been in love with guys since I was little. I remember having a crush on my daycare teacher Kevin when I was just 4 years old. Ever since then I have been obsessed with boys. In high school I was on the dance team and one day these girls were talking and staring at me and my first thought was that they talking about me and that maybe I was a lesbian. I dont know why that entered my mind and i guess thats why it freaked me out so much. But after that I felt uncomfortable being around my friends especially the "pretty ones" because I was afraid what if I felt something but I never did. But like you I would say what if it was denial what if im lying to myself. I began making myself sick because I was so confused and in my research I looked up girls who were lesbians and when they realized they had were attracted to lesbians. I didn't match anything like them. Thats when I knew it was my OCD. So when the thoughts would come I would sing a song in my head or think of something. Of course the thoughts of "your a lesbian" would come back but then I would just sing a song again and again or think of something else. I would list every guy I have a crush on and the list would be front and back. What you need to do is focus all your energy on something else. When the thoughts come sing your favorite song until it goes away. When it comes back 5 seconds later sing it again. Write down every girl youve slept with or crushed on. Another thing I did which is optional of course because I'm religious is pray about it. The point is focus your energy on other things so when the thoughts come you have something to turn to. Its not easy at all. It took me a couple months but I havent had the thoughts in over 4 years. Good luck
my situtation was I thought I was becoming a lesbian even though I had always been in love with guys since I was little. I remember having a crush on my daycare teacher Kevin when I was just 4 years old. Ever since then I have been obsessed with boys. In high school I was on the dance team and one day these girls were talking and staring at me and my first thought was that they talking about me and that maybe I was a lesbian. I dont know why that entered my mind and i guess thats why it freaked me out so much. But after that I felt uncomfortable being around my friends especially the "pretty ones" because I was afraid what if I felt something but I never did. But like you I would say what if it was denial what if im lying to myself. I began making myself sick because I was so confused and in my research I looked up girls who were lesbians and when they realized they had were attracted to lesbians. I didn't match anything like them. Thats when I knew it was my OCD. So when the thoughts would come I would sing a song in my head or think of something. Of course the thoughts of "your a lesbian" would come back but then I would just sing a song again and again or think of something else. I would list every guy I have a crush on and the list would be front and back. What you need to do is focus all your energy on something else. When the thoughts come sing your favorite song until it goes away. When it comes back 5 seconds later sing it again. Write down every girl youve slept with or crushed on. Another thing I did which is optional of course because I'm religious is pray about it. The point is focus your energy on other things so when the thoughts come you have something to turn to. Its not easy at all. It took me a couple months but I havent had the thoughts in over 4 years. Good luck
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