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Hiv OCD: thank you
Hi, I'm a 21 year old female and I've irrationally feared that I've had HIV since middle school. I would sit in the mirror completely horrified with myself from contracting hiv from petting my dog who had warts on his belly. Ever since, I haven't been able to shake it. I never knew it was classified as OCD. Now that sex and alchol have been in the mix my worries have only intensified. I seriously can't handle it. Recently I had my first experience of trying to make unprotected sex happen through rape in order to justify my concern. As I've read through this community as well as received some replies, I feel better about my last risk. You've helped me see that I'm just trying to rationalize something unlikely. I would feel if I was raped in the span of four hours, I would've most likely woken up since I did not black out, since his penis was large my vagina wouldn't have been used to it in the same way that even tampns hurt, i would've at least known I had sex if not rape, he didn't even finger me when I was awake, I was able to consciously refuse sex when I was awake, because his penis was large he wouldn't have been able to casually enter me- he'd need to lift my legs or turn me over or something and I wouldn't felt that, I wasn't drugged because I woke up easily, the anonymous potential rapist most likely would've hoped to remain anonymous instead of giving me his number as well as to my friends for them to be certain they could reach me. This would only leave frottage in this situation which is zero to low risk activity which I must feel extremely guilty about for even placing myself so close to danger. The result of the evening could've been far more damaging
I suffer from ocd just as you do what is your location what state i live in new York and constantly have fears of doctors sticking me with infected needles let me know where you live and i can find you free or affordable help.
You're right. I want to look into a psychologist. I think it would help a lot. How can I start? Who would be able to refer me to one?
Obviously mental illness covers a lot of things with anorexia, OCD, and anxiety falling under that umbrella. The key is to learn how to help yourself when you do have these irrational thoughts. You need to learn cognitive behavioral therapy from a psychologist. I use it all the time. It is kind of like learning how to retrain your brain and at the same time learning calming down techniques. Are you under more stress than usual right now? Stress can exacerbate this type of thinking. Do you have health insurance so that you can see a psychologist?
I figure it must be an OCD because I've felt this way about food as well. I've been anorexic and after I recovered whenever I got too skinny, I worried I was getting ill. Drinking to a routine. Perhaps it is overall anxiety?
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Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
