Hi I'm 18 years old,gonna be 19 in less than 2 months. I have been suffering with OCD n intrusive thoughts for a good few years now, Last week after a night of drinking with my friends I came home n fell asleep,I got up a few hours later n couldn't go back to sleep because I had a really blocked nose. I was just watching vids on YouTube to pass time n suddenly I can't remember how or why I started getting homosexual thoughts in my head saying I'm gay n I like being gay. Something I should add is I have been straight my whole life n never been attracted to men or wanted to be. Anyway carrying on, I couldn't get those thoughts out of my head, I acted on them to test if I was really gay or not,I watched gay porn, I didn't get an erection nor was I really aroused, but my mind kept trying to find ways to prove I was aroused,I then watched lesbian porn n found that so much better, I eventually managed to go to sleep although it was very hard,the fact that I acted on my thoughts really wouldn't stop disturbing me,it's a week on from that n the whole week my mind has been in a really bad state,constantly telling me I'm gay n just having weird thoughts, saying I must be gay because all this has happened to me,all this creates constant anxiety n this is worse than I've ever felt my whole life,questioning my sexuality is crazy to me,last night I was so overwhelmed by all this I gave up,I said **** it,my mind wants me to be gay I'll be gay I couldn't take it anymore,I let my thoughts go wherever they wanted n didn't stop them,I let myself become aroused n watched gay porn,I masturbated to it, I came, I hated it n I've never felt so low in my life, I don't know what to do with myself. I wanted to die, I still do because I'm at my lowest point right now, I can't believe all this is happening and I don't know what to do. Can someone please help me?