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I scare myself and think too much- is what i do a form of OCD?
I'm a 16 year old female and i'm not sure if the things i do are forms of OCD, or just things that come with adolescence. First off, for example, if i'm walking to the kitchen and in my house the wood floor switches to tile, i might say to myself (in my head) "you must step onto the tile before you reach 5, or a murderer will come from under the table and kill you." i count down in my head, and i will literally sprint across the house at times because im trying to avoid a murder, or the girl from The Ring. I dont see them or anything, nor do i get short of breath, or faint, or believe they're actually waiting to see if i make it on time. I just threaten myself in my head all the time, and ive come up with many different stories, not ALL of them are to reach the tile before i get to 5. Also, when i go to sleep, i occasionally think about my parents (especially my mother) dying and how i wont know what to do with myself when that occurs, and if i dont distract myself or watch tv, i could start bawling and never end up falling asleep. I have a stuffed animal that ive had since i was a baby, and lately ive made sure that it is comfortably laying in my bed and that i'm holding onto it securely because ive been making myself think that if it's on the floor, or not at the correct spot in my bed, my mother is going to get sick, or that she's feeling sick and if i dont pick it up shes going to get really really sick, or hurt. Ive never experienced any deaths, or murderers or anything of the sort at all. I might just have alot of anxiety and am paranoid? I dont know. Thank you!
Additionally additionally....
The only thing i get now is i constantly think about/expect the worst thing that could happen at any given time however impossible it is, but more as a defensive measure so i'm prepared for anything, it doesn't cause me anxiety and sometimes i make myself laugh strangely enough.
Example, if i walk down a road and i'm about to pass an alleyway i know is there, i imagine somone/something jumping out at me when i reach it, or i imagine that i'll look down it as i pass and see a dead body or someone getting attacked etc... and more often than not nothing happens.
i know this isn't really related to your problem i just felt like sharing.
oh and whenever i use a microwave i'm almost always thinking about what would happen if it exploded right in front of me, so i'm constantly waiting for it to explode. Not that i think it will, and i'm never scared or anxious that it will. Because i know that it almost definatly won't.
The only thing i get now is i constantly think about/expect the worst thing that could happen at any given time however impossible it is, but more as a defensive measure so i'm prepared for anything, it doesn't cause me anxiety and sometimes i make myself laugh strangely enough.
Example, if i walk down a road and i'm about to pass an alleyway i know is there, i imagine somone/something jumping out at me when i reach it, or i imagine that i'll look down it as i pass and see a dead body or someone getting attacked etc... and more often than not nothing happens.
i know this isn't really related to your problem i just felt like sharing.
oh and whenever i use a microwave i'm almost always thinking about what would happen if it exploded right in front of me, so i'm constantly waiting for it to explode. Not that i think it will, and i'm never scared or anxious that it will. Because i know that it almost definatly won't.
in addition i just thought it could be some form of paranoia so if you don't have any luck looking under OCD try checking for paranoia related conditions.
and just to reassure you, my thoughts disapated on thier own, i'm not saying yours will but it could as you get older.
and just to reassure you, my thoughts disapated on thier own, i'm not saying yours will but it could as you get older.
I have (self-diagnosed) OCD tho i think mine i milder than most, but reading your post it occured to me that i had similar thoughts as a child.
Whenever i went to bed i always had this thought (i have no idea where it came from because no-one ever told me it nor did i read or watch it anywhere) that as soon i turned the light off and got into bed i had a certain amount of time to fall asleep.
The reason being that as soon as my light went out i had this feeling that.. Darth Vader was coming to check i was asleep. Every night i would picture in my head that he was leaving his house in the neighbouring town and getting on his motorbike, riding toward my house, entering my house and looking in my room, as if it were happening in real time.
I always used to keep my head under the covers and do everything i could to pretend i was asleep because if i wasn't he would do something bad to me. Oh and in relation to kbnb's post i truly beleived the only thing that could protect me was my teddy bear which i used to put it's head out of the covers so he knew not to come near.
I don't know if this is connected to OCD or whatever but i just wanted to reassure you your not alone in having these bizzarre thoughts.
Whenever i went to bed i always had this thought (i have no idea where it came from because no-one ever told me it nor did i read or watch it anywhere) that as soon i turned the light off and got into bed i had a certain amount of time to fall asleep.
The reason being that as soon as my light went out i had this feeling that.. Darth Vader was coming to check i was asleep. Every night i would picture in my head that he was leaving his house in the neighbouring town and getting on his motorbike, riding toward my house, entering my house and looking in my room, as if it were happening in real time.
I always used to keep my head under the covers and do everything i could to pretend i was asleep because if i wasn't he would do something bad to me. Oh and in relation to kbnb's post i truly beleived the only thing that could protect me was my teddy bear which i used to put it's head out of the covers so he knew not to come near.
I don't know if this is connected to OCD or whatever but i just wanted to reassure you your not alone in having these bizzarre thoughts.
I have OCD and your story sounds a lot like mine in a way. When I was a teen, I had horrible intrusive thoughts. My head would tell me if I didn't make a basket or if I stepped on a crack while walking, I was going to go to hell or be possessed. I would lay in bed at night terrified that I would be possessed by the devil and I would have to hold my bear to my chest at my heart and pray to God over and over and after each prayer say "God please don't let him get me". Needless to say I didn't get much sleep as a teenager. I had to hold my bear to my chest because I thought the demons could enter through my heart and I had to keep my mouth closed because I was afraid they would enter through my mouth if I wasn't talking. These thoughts would cause panic attacks so severe, one put me in the hospital at the age of 21. They intruded on me during school, sports, but mainly at night...I would also miss a lot of school because of this but hid it from everyone, including my parents. I thought I was going crazy, and i guess in a sense I was. My doctor put me on 150 mg of Effexor and it has worked in controlling these intrusive thoughts, though they do pop up every now and then. If your situation is decreasing your quality of life and making it hard for you to function, it's worth seeing a psychiatrist.
My son has OCD and it is a frightening disorder to watch as well as live with. The fears feel very real and can be debilitating. He is seeing a child/adolescent psychiatrist and counselor. The medication took a while to get right but he is functioning in a normal environment. He had fears of contamination from disease, fears of death, obsessed with rabies (except for our dog), he thought he was crazy. He dealt with unrealistic guilt and shame. He would wash his hands until they bled and still over washes and has red painful hands. It is painful as a parent to watch this. Please talk to your parents and get help. The right medication and counseling will help, you may not get it right the first time but keep trying. You are not crazy. I have read several books about OCD and your fears are common themes in this disorder.
Well, you could possibly have OCD, but I can't say for sure. You should go to a psychologist to get tested and see what your problem may be. It sounds like you are fearful, and from what you've said about the ring girl and thinking a killer will come after you if you don't step and count in a certain way, tells me you are watching too much tv with bad themes or too much secular tv. OCD specialist also believe that some of our OCD fears come about through our culture. But that is partly a good thing because it means that this way of thinking can be unlearned with the proper therapy and meds if you need them.
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