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16308986 tn?1446874747

I think I'm just insane...

So I described briefly what it feels like to a friend who was diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, Anxiety and Depression clinically, and they said that it sounded more like Tourettes, but I'm unsure?

Simply put, it's a feeling that never stops, but always changes, it's sometimes indistinguishable from an actual physical "itch" - sometimes it's not even on me. The wall on the other side of the room might be "itchy" and I need to go and scratch it, but no, it doesn't need to be touched to be satisfied, I have to scratch at it with my eyes. From seeing the wall of my nose from my right eye as I turn my head to the right while looking at the wall, or object, I feel the wall of my nose satisfying the itch of the wall. This sounds utterly insane, I know - that's why I'm here; to ask what the umbrella is wrong with me. Also I HAVE to contract, stretch, extend, touch, bite, "eye-scratch" random parts of my body, usually in a pattern that I haven't worked out yet, nevertheless it feels like a pattern. Looking in a mirror is horrifically complex, in that now I have two of me with itches I can feel on both but I don't know which one to scratch to satisfy. Sometimes I breakdown into a panic attack if I resist or can't satisfy it. I just noticed as I am typing this now, I have to type letters a certain amount of time without it being an equal amount of times to that of the backspace and I have to double tap the caps lock key an unknown amount of times and sometimes I might accidentally do it too many times and get depressed at it.

Someone sum this up by telling me that I belong in a mental ward. :)

Did I mention that on the rare occasion, I have hallucinations of people walking behind me, people watching me sleep ect, though it's not completely vivid, so I know when it's happening. So instead of being afraid of them, I literally ball my eyes out laughing while trying to touch them to no avail. It's a bit like a dream, but I'm awake... ok, now you can tell me to check into a mental ward. ^_^
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1699033 tn?1514113133
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm pretty sure that you don't belong in a mental ward.  However, I cannot diagnose you on the forum.  You would need to see a psychologist in order to get a proper diagnosis and a treatment plan put in place.  Perhaps even medication would help you.  I'm sure a lot of this has become a habit for you but the good news is that habits can be broken.  
Helpful - 0
16308986 tn?1446874747
I wouldn't know where to go about getting an appointment, also asking my parents for help would be a flop for they deny the existence of mental illness.

But as an update, I think that I should mention that the past few weeks I had been in a numb, dead inside state (still current) (also that's how I found this website, looking for answers to me being in and out of this state for years) so with pointless disregard of my own well being, stabbing an itch that wouldn't leave, like something crawling under my skin, with a knife seemed to work in the local region, the false pain bled away. Though obviously not an answer, it felt better. I'm trying not to do this at all because it's stupid, but it still happens.

Back to main point, I've never made appointments of my own accord so I don't know how. Would a school councillor be a wise step towards this?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I kinda have the same thing. I will get a thought that a pillow my head is on is bad luck or something really crazy so I'll have to shake my head to get off the bad luck ( there are so many examples). Youre not alone and I'm almost positive that you don't need to be in a mental ward.
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1699033 tn?1514113133
COMMUNITY LEADER
Yes, a school counselor would be a good starting point for you.  Let me know how it goes.  JGF
Helpful - 0
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