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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
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Is hysterical retardation possible?

Like many OCD suffers, I experience horrific, unwanted thoughts, such as, for example, of becoming a *********.  In connection with these thoughts, I have developed the concern that if I do not perform certain elaborate mental rituals, the unwanted images will remain in my subconscious and cause me to do or become that thing that I am obsessing about.  This was based on what I presume to be a half-baked conception of operant conditioning.  

I also experience unwanted images of people I dislike - people who have harmed me or whom I otherwise find unappealing.  I will have recurrent images of unpleasant situations involving these people and will worry that if I do not perform the appropriate rituals, my subconscious mind will meditate on these images and cause me to become like these people.  In particular, I fear losing my intelligence in the process.

Anyway, at some point, these dual obsessions collided and I began threatening myself with "becoming stupid" like some particularly noxious person if I allowed myself to experience some horrific, unwanted thought.  Inevitably, I would think that thought and would immediately begin to fear that my subconcious mind would make good on my threat and cause me to lose my intelligence unless I engaged once again in certain rituals.

My question is this: is there any scientific evidence for the existence of some kind of purely intellectual conversion disorder in which neurotic fears manifest themselves by inhibiting cognitive functioning.  I know Freud has documented supposed instances of neurotic disorders that result in physical paralysis, but is there any reason to fear some purely mental equivalent?  

One of the hallmarks of OCD is that sufferers are supposed to recognize that their fears are irrational.  I cannot convince myself that this particular fear is misplaced.  Thus, whenever I find myself encountering a task that I have difficulty performing or whenever I find myself struggling to remember some fact that should be readily available to me, I start to worry that perhaps I failed to perform the ritual properly.  This is particularly the case where the obsession is of something I fear worse than becoming stupid, such as, for example, molesting children.  I fear that my subconscious mind will make me stupid in an effort not to become a *********, as some kind of defense mechanism, or as some kind of punishment for thinking the unwanted thought. some punishment that I subconsciously (or otherwise) think I deserve?

Any thoughts on this matter would be greatly appreciated.
6 Responses
Avatar universal
You definitely have obsessive compulsive. You just have tell your self these thoughts are irrational and try to focus on something else. Its not easy but it can be done. I have had obsessive compulsive disorder for awhile now. Are you taking any medication to help if you don't mind me asking
Avatar universal
Thanks.  I have been taking medication for anxiety and OCD and panic attacks for over 10 years.  The panic attacks are gone, but the thoughts and the compulsions are much more persistent.  I.m thinking about psychotherapy, but I've heard it's not really effective for OCD.
Avatar universal
Have you been on the same med for ocd for ten yrz if so it might nt be working as well. I have bn on zoloft for ten yrz since I was fifteen and when mine starts to act up really bd they increase the dose some and usually helps. Bt to me ocd just hits out of the blue smtimes I guess certain things trigger it
Avatar universal
And u said u couldnt place whether your fear is irrational well n my opinion its right in front of your face. You wouldnt be posting here if it wasnt RIGHT think abt it
Avatar universal
We've tried several different medications.  I usually resist when my doctor recommends increasing the dose, because I'm a bit of a hypochondriac as well and worry about the effects on my liver.  It's true that when I describe my fears out loud, they do seem rather silly....
Avatar universal
No they just are irrational and you seem like a very intelligent person you just think a tad bit to much.
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