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Is this OCD? Or am I Transgender?

So a few months ago I watched a youtube video about an MtF Transgender person, and my OCD spiked up. "What If I want to be like that?". Ever since that same thought hasn't left my mind. I continually recite questions similar to this in my brain and have random thoughts like when I see a girl that I used to think was hot something like "I want to be like her", and it doesn't feel like a regular passing thought, it feels like it had been shoved in my brain and it made me feel sick and full of anxiety. I also find myself endlessly picturing what life would be like as a woman to see if I would prefer it.

Worse only - when I was a child I can remember watching documentaries about Sex Changes and there's a character in an English TV programme who had a sex change and I couldn't stop thinking about it then. Also I had a phase in my early pre-teens where I discovered Crossdressing, and developed what I believe to be a Tranvestic Fetish. Nowadays I'm more into straight things, and I definitely do not feel like I was born to be a woman, I never have! And these constant recurring thoughts of "What if" and the intrusive ones that make me wonder if I really am a woman inside or something like that.

I definitely do not hate my body, or my genitals but these thoughts just keep coming back no matter what I do. I'm a 14 year old heterosexual male. Help?
Best Answer
1699033 tn?1514113133
COMMUNITY LEADER
There are many triggers for people that have OCD and we never really know what it is going to be until it happens.  Usually the triggers are things that we would define as being "horrible."  Things that may not be socially acceptable.  So if you have OCD...I am assuming you have been properly diagnosed? Then this thought is no different than any other "what-if" thought that you have ever had.  Don't go back and delve into your childhood.  Children do all sorts of experimental things and they mean nothing.  

What you have to realize is that if you really are transgender there is nothing wrong with that but I highly doubt that you are.  Perhaps it is time to go back and see the psychologist so that you can get some help moving past this particular thought.  Don't do any over analyzing of this thought either because that just keeps you in the thought pattern and you will just be going in circles.  
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Avatar universal
Yeah, I was diagnosed back in 2011 after watching the doomsday film "2012" if you remember it? All about how the world was going to end and I had constant intrusive thoughts about being burnt alive. I also had HOCD in the past, and possibly my weirdest thought was when I watched Silence of the Lambs I couldn't stop wondering about where the meat I was eating came from.

I realise there is nothing wrong with it, I figured that out a long time ago. I suppose i'll head back to the Psychologist and maybe the school counsellor... Thanks for your help.
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
COMMUNITY LEADER
No problem.  After seeing what other thoughts you have had in the past...I have NO DOUBT that you are NOT transgender.  OCD can be horrible if we let it be.  I believe they call it ERP over in the UK (CBT here in the states) so I hope that you are learning some coping strategies.  At 14 they probably don't want to put you on medication so make sure you learn the techniques well.  Practice them.  Take that fear away from the thoughts.  And if for some reason down the road you are having trouble, you can keep it in the back of your mind that medication is out there and it does work.  Take care of you!  
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