Everyone with an anxiety disorder has irrational thoughts and obsesses over them. If we didn't, we wouldn't have anxiety. Anxiety isn't your thoughts, it's your reaction to them. Everyone has thoughts. All thoughts seem to come out of nowhere. People get stuck on jingles, news items, their dogs, pretty much all kinds of things, but because they don't react to them by getting anxious or getting panic attacks it doesn't bother them and they move on. Whether you have OCD or just a panic attack disorder I don't know, but if you're skipping meds, that's a really really bad idea. And if you're skipping therapy, it can't work. If you want to get better, you have to work on it. As for how powerful out brains are, you are exaggerating their power. We can give them more power than they actually have in the way we think, but if you think about how stupid humans are in general our brains are highly overrated because we highly overrate ourselves as a species. We have egos. So yeah, there is power there, but not as much as you're attributing to it. That's anxious thinking, and if you can work on that, maybe you can suffer less. Peace.